how to accept it, how to cope - single teen mum

[KayteeB]

my little man was born three weeks ago and the daddy told me he wanted to see his son and be in his life even though were not together and i was so happy about it, i didnt want my son not knowing his father. He told me he would be visiting when i told him Kai had been born but he still hasnt been down to see us. He starts university soon and i know he wont be around again after he goes away.

Because i still love him with all my heart i dont wanna hurt him and therefore i havent told anyone he's the dad cause he didnt want anyone knowing, not even his parents know they have a grandchild. Im so scared of hurting him, or making him so mad he'll never be in baby's life.

I just dont know how to accept he isnt going to be there. I break down into tears whenever i think about it properly, like now. Its not even about having to cope on my own because i know i can. It just kills me so much looking at my little man who is the SPITTING image of his dad and knowing he'll never know his dad, knowing his dad is missing out on so much and accepting he'll never have a dad to take him football or to send a fathers day card too.

I know it doesnt help that im still in love with him, he's the only man ive ever been with and we were seeing eachother on and off and casually for three years before i got pregnant. It doesnt matter how much he hurts me, how many times he lets me down, how many horrible things he says to me, i still love him and i cant do anything to hurt him.

please help me girls

 

[Blondie91]

I'm kinda-sorta in the same situation, except I haven't had LO yet. He sounds a lot like my ex-boyfriend - selfish. His parents don't even know? I think right there tells you a lot...just the fact that it doesn't seem like he wants to or is going to take responsibility for his child anytime soon. It's super unfortunate, because he's the one going to be missing out on everything. My ex is a lot like him, and has taken off for school, not planning to come back for LO, and hasn't even tried to talk to me for months. I just keep telling myself that ONE DAY he'll wake up and realize he was the coward, and made the wrong decision. So just keep telling yourself that, hun. As hard as it is when you still love someone, atleast you will be able to live with your decisions. Good luck girl! xo

 

[MummyJade]

so sorry your having to go through this, i know you love him and its hard but you need to focus on your LO, don't worry about upsetting FOB feelings, he needs to man up... he needs to pay for his child regardless... His parents also need to know, this is their grandchild, think how your parents would feel if you didn't tell them you had a baby...

Honestly don't worry about his feelings, so what if he gets mad, just shows his true colours, and as for his parents not knowing thats terrible, he is selfish...

Just keep your head up he isn't worth you tears, you got a beautiful baby to look after and he (FOB) is missing out not you xx

 

[keyring86]

I'm just wondering. What are his reasons for not telling his parents?