How to cheer up?

[whoops]

This post is probably going to be a rambling mess...

Most of the time, I don't feel too bad about the situation I've found myself in - FOB walked away a few weeks ago, but I've got my family and a lot of good friends to support me.

But, I went for an early scan yesterday, and before me, there was a couple waiting to go in. It just brought home to me how on my own I am.

I feel like I just lurch from one disaster to the next. I want this baby, but I never thought I'd be a single mum. And not only single, but basically abandoned. My parents are being fantastic, but I know they're upset about the situation, and I hate knowing that I've caused that.

I just keep worrying about how I'm going to explain to my little one that their father didn't want them. I worry that I'm going to find it hard to meet another man, as who'd want to take on me and a child? And I worry that I'll end up settling for the first half-decent guy I find, because I'll be so desperate to give this kid a dad.

I'm trying to stay positive about the situation, and I am looking forward to having this baby, but how do I stop myself from feeling so down?

 

[billy2mm]

its part of the greiving process for your relationship.

my kids were 2 and 6 weeks when i ended my marriage and it was very hard knowing if i had done the right thing.

i still go through days where i think im never going to meet anyone who wants a 25 year old divorcee with 2 kids but then again we are a fantastic family and anyone who we decied to let into our lives will be a very very lucky person.

you didnt cause this situation hun - he did by walking out so do not ever blame yourself!!

your baby is wanted by you and will have all the love and care he/she will ever need from you and if you decide the time is right to bring someone else into his/her life then he/she will be doubly blessed.

 

[scottishgal89]

you havent caused this situation im sure your parents will be upset for you rather than at you.
i know how you feel though, my ex came to most of my scans but he didnt come to the 20week one because i annoyed him...mature eh. sitting in the waiting room was upsetting seeing all of the happy couples and me myself.
you wont settle for just anyone because your desperate to give your lo a dad because at the end of the day, your baby has you and thats the most important thing. if you do meet someone eventually, you'll want only the best for your baby and theres no way you'd settle.
you will meet someone eventually but after your had your lo they will be your priority and you wont even think about meeting anyone for a while.
im not going to lie, being pregnant alone isnt easy. i found it harder than being a single mummy. your hormones are all over the place and its hard going, my advice would be to keep busy. i went walking, swimming, spent time with friends and family...etc to keep me occupied and that helped a lot.
keep your chin up

 

[whoops]

Thank you, both of you. I am feeling a lot more positive this morning - it's just the night times when it's most difficult. I knew that this would be tough, but I guess I'm just starting to understand exactly what that means.

 

[billy2mm]

Thank you, both of you. I am feeling a lot more positive this morning - it's just the night times when it's most difficult. I knew that this would be tough, but I guess I'm just starting to understand exactly what that means.

im so glad you are feeling better hun!

its night times when i feel worst ewhen i have my bad days - kids are in bed housework is done nothing on tv and the mind starts wandering. it is a tough life but (in my case anyway) its better to be alone and safe with my kids than still married and miserable being taken advantage of and my kids suffering a miserable life not having freedom or even food on the table!!

if you ever need a moan or a rant pm me!! we all need it some time!

 

[Jem_x3]

FOB left me at 29 weeks and I had to go to my antenatal classes with my best friend.. every other person there had an OH/Husband and I felt like such an idiot at the first one but then I stopped and thought about it and realised I wouldn't have it any other way. They're the ones missing out. It's so much harder when you're pregnant because of all the emotional changes you're going through but at the end of it you have a beautiful child and they'll be the love of your life. Not some idiot who can't face up to reality.

We've all been through it and it is tough but just know that this feeling won't last forever, easier said than done I know but I can't stress how important it is for you to stay positive because there's definitely light at the end of the tunnel! :] If you ever need a chat or rant we're all here for you. Just make sure to keep yourself busy and surround yourself with friends and family and I promise it'll all be ok xxxx

 

[whoops]

Thank you so much, I'm actually a little teary-eyed now! Damn hormones!

Seriously though, I really, really appreciate the support. My family and friends are being amazing, but it's great being able to talk to others who have been through the same thing.

 

[Jem_x3]

I know how you feel.. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to cope when FOB left because I blamed myself.. Coming on here and reading other's experiences made it really hit home that I wasn't alone and it wasn't my fault and I was going to be ok. Just enjoy the next 9 months of growing your baby because it really is an amazing thing you're doing and noone should ever spoil that for you :] xx

 

[teal]

Sending you lots of hugs

My ex broke up with me when I told him I was pregnant (I was 4 weeks when I told him). I've not seen him since. I found it hard going through pregnancy on my own. I hated going to my midwife appointments because it wasn't nice sitting in the waiting room with lots of couples. For your next scans could you maybe ask a friend to go with you?

You'll get there - it's hard but it's so worth it xx