How to choose a middle name...

[tokyo]

Help!

I have always felt that your child's first name is their name, while a middle name is a nice opportunity to honour a loved one / family member etc. This is how middle names are used in my family and I always imagined doing the same with my children. Otherwise what is the point of having 2 names? Think as a woman I feel this more - after OH's family are honoured in the surname.

OH doesn't agree at all. He thinks a middle name should be a 'back up' in case the child hates their first name and wants an alternative without having to legally change. I don't get this at all!! I have never in my life thought about being called anything other than my name and I know if I'd tried to go by my middle name my parents / family would have just called me by my given name anyway! OH is a teacher and apparently teaches several kids who go by their middle names as they hate their first names.

So we now are at a complete standstill on names. We cannot agree on any first names anyway and now middle name arguments are coming into the mix! OH hates all the family names I suggest as middle names (from his side of the family as well as mine, I might add) because he wouldn't want any of them used as an 'alternative' if our child disliked their first name. However I feel that's irrelevant as that's not what middle names are for!

What do you think? How do you choose a middle name? Is it just another name you like or should it have some significance? Are your chosen middle names 'back ups', in honour of loved ones or something else?

 

[bethanchloe]

I just choose a name I like as the middle name to be honest & it does give the child an option when they're older if there's a reason for not liking their first name.
I know a few people who go by their middle names because they didn't like their first names...

 

[Mummy2B21]

Choose a name you both like.

 

[bumblebeexo]

We chose a middle name with no family meaning, we just liked it. It was too hard trying to think up a family name, it was easier to not do it as neither of us liked any family names and it would have been impossible not to offend somebody by calling the baby after someone but not them!

 

[lj2245]

My son has his paternal grandfathers name as his middle name but rather than use the full name - Alfred, I used his nickname Alfie, which I loved It was almost his first name! My son is Shaun Alfie, which I love.

This one, if it's a boy will have my Dad's name as a middle name, Thomas. While I don't particularly love the name, I don't mind it and I know it's a good name. We haven't thought about first names lol. If it's a girl....I don't know. I don't speak to my Mum and my husband's Mum's name is Geraldine and there's no way I'm giving my child that name. I'm closest to my sister, Carol, but can't use her name without using my other sister's name too and Carol Claire sounds daft lol. A middle name, if we have a daughter, will be a struggle!!

I guess my opinion is use a family member's name as a middle name if you like the name. I don't have a middle name but my Sister Carol's middle name is Ann after our aunt and she hates it. My other sister Claire's middle name is Michelle, which was random and she hates it too. Only because she's a lesbian tomboy (the girl freely admits she's a boy) and thinks her name is way too girly. So while you may love the middle name you give your child, regardless of how it's chosen, your child may not! I definitely think it's easier to have a middle name you hate if you can say 'oh it's my grandfather's name'.

 

[aknqtpie]

I would love to use family names as a middle name. But sometimes it might not flow well with a first name you have chosen. Also need to make sure that the acronym doesn't spell something bad...

 

[Feronia]

Oh dear. The husband and I had a tough time deciding on a middle name. Eventually, I said (half jokingly) "screw it, let's just make something up." Within five minutes we came up with something we both love and it has never been used as a name before. We're both very pleased with it -- it's meaningful and unique, so that's always an option!

 

[catfromaus]

My girls have family names- Emma has my mothers and Rosie has MILs

 

[SuperKat]

The middle names we pick are always a back up option. But I know plenty of people that chose middle names for the same reason you have mentioned.

 

[Rosie.no1]

With my DD I chose the middle name because I loved it and it sounds beautiful with her first name. Also her first name is Arabic after DH background so middle is English.

This time LO will have an English first name so the middle name will be Arabic.. (although it's actually English as well!)

 

[dizzy65]

we have chosen the middle names after people that were close to us the ones we have chosen

Middle name for my son is leon after my grandpa who passed and For a girl it will be louise after Dh's grandma that passed but as for other ones we arent sure yet but it will be after someone