How to cope with pregnant co-workers.

[BettyBoopster]

Please help me find a way to cope.

I know its awful but yesterday I found out that two girls I sit next to are both expecting!! I'm trying to be happy for them and have managed to portray that but I'm sat here desperately trying not to cry my eyes keep welling up. They aren't talking about it so its nothing new but I just feel soooo upset. We've been TTC for two years and are 'unknown infertile' and I know they only just started trying, no one knows we have been trying.

I try not to think about TTC but now with them sat there I don't know how I'm going to cope for the next few months, I feel crappy enough already.

 

[purplesparkle]

its hard I had a ran into the toilet and cried when my boss told me she was pregnant, she knew we were having problems and felt the need to rub it in my face. anouncing it one by one to everyone as they came into work that day. she had problems concieving thought she would be more sensitive but wasn't hated being around her while pregnant she started to make out she couldn't do anything for herself anymore. I was made redundant before she gave birth so least I didn't have to put up with her bringing her baby to work.

maybe you should tell them so they don't rub it in your face so much

 

[poppyp]

I know exactly how you feel. Is there anyone at work that you can confide in? My coworkers know I have been ttc for a long time and suffered a m/c and are sensitive and supportive.

It's not easy- thinking of you,

Poppy x

 

[micsor]

I know how that feels! I had a miscarriage last May and another co-worker was pregnant at the same time! I had to see her bump growing bigger and bigger, and hear her talk about it all the time! I definitely kept my distance because I just couldn't keep letting myself get upset! Hang in there! Hopefully we'll all have our turn soon!

 

[kitcatbaby]

this is a tough one! I have a friend at work who got pregnant after having sex once on the first cycle and is now talking about ttc again and she knows I've been trying a long time and am upset about the fact that since we've been trying 3 co-workers have been pregnant and 2 have already had their babies now and I still haven't got so much as a sniff of a bfp :'( yet she still brags about how easy it will be for her to conceive again!
I also don't know how to cope with it! You're not alone feeling this way... hopefully this support network will help you and I both to find some way to cope. Sorry I can't give more answers I just want you to know you're not alone!

 

[aintlifegrand]

I have recently started counseling to deal with all these LTTTC emotions and it is really helping, I suggest everyone try it.

 

[BettyBoopster]

Thank you all so much, for letting me know I'm not alone and that it is normal to feel so guilty and jealous of wanting that they have, although I'd rather you weren't all going through it too. If I had money I'd try counselling but I'll stick with the support here for now. Each day is getting a little easier but time will tell if its the calm before the storm.

 

[aintlifegrand]

^I had a hard time dealing with the extreme jealously of co-workers, friends, sisters, etc. Sometime looking at facebook is torture.

 

[IndiaBay]

This really has been a sore subject for me. There are quite a few in my office who have kids who talk about them like they're an inconvenience, and preach to us 'non-parents' how we should be grateful for our spare time. At the moment however, I am the ONLY non-parent in the room. One co-worker has just announced she is pregnant again. I had to sit and watch her, oh and listen to her the whole way through her first pregnancy. Sorry if this is becoming a rant. I want you to know there is another woman out there, suffering the same way as you every day she goes to work. The tears come and go for me. Some days are harder than others and some days are much easier than you expected. With regards to talking to your co-workers about it, I'm not sure it helps. I've found they are sympathetic whilst you are talking but are still happy to go on about their own pregnancies etc. I decided it was my issue, they will be excited, I would be. I think if the days get too tough and you find yourself in the toilets more than at your desk, get the counselling. Talk about it and let it out. It'll be us one day, proud and brimming with joy. Good Luck, I hope this month is your month. (and mine!)

xxXxx

 

[marie44]

I agree with IndiaBay about not talking to coworkers about it. It could help if you have great coworkers that are capable of being sensitive & understanding. My coworkers would probably put a negative twist on it and/or ask personal questions about TTC. I accidentally said something to a coworker last year and after all of the intrusive questions, I told her we changed our mind and are trying to save up money before we TTC again and she's mostly left me alone. I desperately want to talk to some of them about it just to get some support but I don't think it would be worth the risk...at least in my office. Good luck to everyone. Hopefully we will get our BFP and have the grace not to rub it in anyone's face (although some may deserve it lol).

 

[tonibzac]

I have this at my work. I am a Head of Year in a primary school and have 2 of my colleagues pregnant which ahs triggered the 'must be your turn soon' comments. It all got too much for me, putting on the smile... that I have started telling people that me and OH have been trying for a long time and have been referred for treatment and that I find it difficult to discuss and the baby talk has ceased It also triggered a few colleagues to share their stories about how long it took to conceive for them and miscarriages etc., and actually I really appreciate it as I feel like I'm not alone or a weirdo