how to gently stop feeding my toddler to sleep?

[sewing_mama]

My beautiful daughter is now 18 months old, we've had a wonderful bf relationship but i'm now feeling that it will soon be time to wean. I feed her to sleep, we co-sleep, and she naps in my arms or in an ergo carrier while feeding during the day. It has worked well for us but I now want to make a change in the most gentle way possible. I have no idea how to drop the nap and bedtime feeds as she is so reliant on them to get to sleep and they are such a big part of her routine. She won't sleep in a cot so I considered getting a new bed for her room but maybe that would be too much change at once. I wondered if a cup of warm milk at 'boo boo' time might help? I've read so much conflicting info online I just don't know where to start. Help please!

 

[Maxy1]

I made the same decision at a similar time with DS.

In order to gently stop I just moved the feed around. With the night feed, I would start it earlier and in a different place. So normally I would feed DS in his bedroom so it was easy to transfer him to bed. First, I moved it to the lounge and once we got comfortable with that, I started it about 30 minutes earlier so that there was a break between the end of the feed and going to bed. Then I started it earlier again and again until there was a decent sized break between finishing and bed time. Then I did 'don't offer, don't refuse' kinda. So I wouldn't prompt the night feed and when DS asked, I would ask him if he was thirsty and he would say yes so I would get him a drink of milk in a sippy cup and then distract him with play until bed time.

It sounds like it takes ages but it actually goes very quickly, it only took a couple of days for DS to ask for a drink instead of BF. Just repeat with each feed.

 

[Rachel_C]

I night weaned my youngest when she'd just turned two using Dr Jay Gordon's method. Maybe you could adapt it for your needs? I still fed my daughter to sleep and she still has boob at bedtime now some nights (although she doesn't feed to sleep) but she is much less reliant on BF for sleep. Night weaning had no effect on daytime feeds but it instigated her not needing to BF to sleep all the time and it was very gentle.

 

[sewing_mama]

Thank you both for the fantastic advice, both very helpful. I asked the same question in the breastfeeding forum and got no reply so thanks again for taking time to respond. I'll give both these ideas a go x