how to get what i want at the birth?

[emmi26]

my friend has kind of assumed shes invited to the birth and constantly keeps mentioning it. thing is people are starting to assume i want this or that and i dont !!!!
1. Everyone is assuming im having a home birth something i havn't definately decided on yet. my mum talks about getting an air bed to staqy at my house when im in labour so she can look after my daughter in another room if it happens at night. my friend wants me to call her at the first twinge so she can come over and my sister wants to come over immediately too !!!
2. my mw hasn't discussed the birth yet does anyone else know when they do? my next appointment is 31 weeks this thursday.
i think i would actually like to stay at home as long as possible then go to the hospital. im very independent and im not actualy sure i want my sister there yet either but my mum will have to drop me off at the hospital the only way i can think of round this is to tell her i will ring my sister when im sure baby is coming and ive been checked over then ring them all when hes here and im ready !!
sorry this is confusing isn't it !!
my main questions are when did yr mw discuss the birth with you and how have you put yr wishes across to yr family ??

 

[honeybun]

I still havent spoken to midwife about birth....At the end of the day its your day of meeting ur baby and its going to be a painful knackering day so you dnt need people there that u dnt really feel comfy being there so just say to them u'd rather just have (name) there and they/she can come over after.x

 

[wantingno.2]

In my experience MW's dont really discuss in depth birth at all, as unless your having a home birth it could be any MW delivering your baby at the hospital.

My MW with my ds did look at my birth plan when i had written it not that it said much but this MW has only mentioned once not to forget to fill in the birth plan section ... dont think she's bothered about that as she obviously wont be there for that bit.

 

[GossipGirl]

Yeah my MW never really discussed the actual birth with me, I fancied a water birth at the the hospital so I asked about that a month or so ago and she said it's very unlikely I'd be able to have it coz when it's busy in the hospital they shut it down for a few hours until they get more midwives in/women moved out who've given birth as the pool room is on a different floor sadly (which is really stupid IMO) but that's getting OT - I think you have to ask if you want anything apart from a regular hospital birth from what I've gathered over all my appointments. Basically it's in, get all your checks done and then get out.

I remember at my 30 ish week appointment the midwife asked how the movements were and I said yeah they were ok and she said you should be counting the 10 a day now and should have been for weeks - which I knew thankfully due to the internet - but at the time I was thinking well I didn't get told that at all. Midwives seem to forget what to mention to you what is appropriate for the time at these appointments, I don't know what women did before the internet came about, or years and years ago before books were about.

 

[Tulip]

Emmi I raised home vs hospital myself with MW at 29 weeks and she got very excited at the prospect of a home-hypno birth (I posted it in Natural Birthing) and explained what pain relief is available. TENS, water and hypno, no G&A til 7cm as they only carry small cylinders

As for people inviting themselves round, I would be putting them in their place soon - you need to be as relaxed and comfortable as poss in order to progress labour quickly. I tell people I won't have time to be the hostess LOL

 

[PresqueVu]

I don't know what women did before the internet came about, or years and years ago before books were about.

I've wondered that as well!

My notes said that they would discuss it at 36 weeks but my midwife never discussed birth plan or location without me bringing it up first - and I really had to push for information.

Regarding your family I think try and explain to them and if all else fails the just not telling them option, its quite easy to say you just forgot with all the drama!

I had an overnight stay in the hospital and didn't tell people until he was a day old and we were home. My first visitors were when he was 4 days old and that was still too soon for me in all honesty.

 

[BoLt_InFeRnO]

I haven't discussed the birth with MW either. I'm going to ask her at my next appointment.

As for unwanted visitors, I have had plenty of offers. my mum wants to drag my 3 younger siblings to my hospital, which is 300+ miles from her!!! And they want to stay in my flat.

My plan is, to print out a few hundred birth plans and hand them out. Its MY birth, MY baby. Of all people, my mum should be the most understanding one.

At the bottom of my birth plan I have written 'under no circumstances do I want any one else in room while I'm in labour. You are more than happy to wait outside, but I don't want anyone in for at least an hour. '