How to handle family trying to name our baby

[JASMAK]

My mother in law keeps sending me name suggestions. I really do not want them to name our baby. The one name I had on my list for a girl, she suggested (but with different spelling) and it really turned me off the name, because the reason why I want to name the baby that name (from when hubby and I travelled to Hana, Hawaii) is different of why she wants to name the baby (from where she lives, Hanna, Alberta Canada - a real hick-twon). Now, if I name my baby Hana, they will think it is because of them and the name they chose. Urgh! Any suggestions on how to handle this?

 

[Tashry]

Hmmm...that's tough. Maybe let them know that while you appreciate the suggestions, you two already have a list and have narrowed it down to a few choices. And if they still keep bugging you maybe just tell them you already have picked a name and just aren't going to tell anyone until baby is born. Not exactly truthful, but it may spare their feelings and give you some peace.

 

[kmac625]

Maybe you could ask your hubby to politely tell them that you guys want to come up with your own name and that though you appreciate their help, this is something you want to do just between the two of you. I don't know how your relationship is with your mil, but I know for mine it would definitely be more effective coming from my dh than from me.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Naming a baby should be fun, and an enjoyable conversation to have with loved ones. I don't see any reason not to have a light-hearted conversation with friends & family about names. My brother seems to get annoyed everytime my mom and i bring up baby names too... and his OH just shoots down any name we suggest or ignores us all together. So, i guess i'm seeing it from the "other side"... lol. I think as long as people aren't making faces or insulting your favorite names, i see no reason not to talk about baby names. It's a big decision, and should take alot of thought.

Besides, what's the harm in your MIL thinking she had some influence on the name you pick? It would make her so happy, and you & your husband know the name was really your choice & chosen bc of sentimental value.

I love the name Hannah, by the way... especially after Hana, Hawaii... very pretty & special!

 

[babythinkpink]

Smile sweetly, say what a lovely name/thought/whatever and quietly ignore it!
Choose the names you want for your reasons, and you dont even need to say anything about it, when the baby is born you can say we took all suggestions into consideration and choose....

I have 4 children one has my name as a middle name the rest have been just what we wanted, its hard enough to agree with your other half with your babys name let alone in laws and family names too!
We had some almighty hints for names, and i said to my mum if it was my choice i would have used this or that but it was up to us both and dh didnt like it! He didnt mind taking the blame!

Good luck, and just remember you will be saying this name a very long time so its you who needs to feel comfortable with it!

We had two names chosen for my dd and when she was born we looked at her and decided which one she was, and it was so easy she was so what we called her over the other name we had it was amazing yet we liked each name exactly just one suited her better!

xxxx

 

[JASMAK]

Thanks everyone! DH and I talked about it, and we have decided that we will politely listen to everyone's suggestions and let them know that will we not be announcing the baby's name until the birth. That way, it doesn't really matter if they like it or not, because it will be done. Yes, babythinkpink...you are so right. DH and I have had some of our biggest arguements about names (I have a son and a daughter). This is actually the first time someone has tried to name it for us. lol. I do like this mother-in-law (I have two because Rob's dad remarried - she's the one I like) so I do want her to feel special or listened to, but I don't want to name my baby after Hanna Alberta. LOL! Hopefully when I tell everyone that we won't be announcing the names, they will just lay off, but if not...I guess I will just listen. Who knows, maybe they will come up with something I like. I really don't have a list as of yet. Just Hana because that was one that we had on our list for our daughter (we named her Makena instead).

 

[MUMOF5]

I can sympathise with you, since day one my MIL has been coming up with names, not one of which we have liked , and she hasnt like any of ours, and has been very opinionated about our name choices, saying 'oh i dont like that, i knew this girl........', or 'she will get called...... ' etc, etc . the thing I dont mind criticism if I ask for it, but we never once asked for her opinion/input. It has been hard enough for me and DH to agree on names, let alone taking others opinions into account . Even though weve told her we have our final two choices and they are final, she's still throwing names at us. Im quite blunt now and when she suggests a name I just say 'No I dont like that'. BTW I really like Hanna xx

 

[Tashry]

Thanks everyone! DH and I talked about it, and we have decided that we will politely listen to everyone's suggestions and let them know that will we not be announcing the baby's name until the birth. That way, it doesn't really matter if they like it or not, because it will be done. Yes, babythinkpink...you are so right. DH and I have had some of our biggest arguements about names (I have a son and a daughter). This is actually the first time someone has tried to name it for us. lol. I do like this mother-in-law (I have two because Rob's dad remarried - she's the one I like) so I do want her to feel special or listened to, but I don't want to name my baby after Hanna Alberta. LOL! Hopefully when I tell everyone that we won't be announcing the names, they will just lay off, but if not...I guess I will just listen. Who knows, maybe they will come up with something I like. I really don't have a list as of yet. Just Hana because that was one that we had on our list for our daughter (we named her Makena instead).

Very smart move. We aren't telling anyone the name we have chosen until after he is born. It is a bit unusual, although not unheard of, and I really love it, and don't want to hear other people's opinions.

 

[venusrockstar]

We told everyone that we aren't telling anyone the names we pick and they have to wait until after it's born to find out *LOL*

 

[mrsraggle]

My FIL keeps sending us suggestions too and asked my mum if she'd had any thoughts on names for the baby!! I just said to him one day "What makes you think you have any say?!". It didn't stop him getting his family tree out and going through all the names but still I said my piece and I'm not gonna pick his names...

 

[Pyrrhic]

I would tell them that you have already picked the name and are keeping it a secret until he birth.

Otherwise they will keep suggesting names and if you do pick a name that is similar that person will end up thinking they picked the name themselves

 

[JASMAK]

Good idea...will do straight away!

 

[JASMAK]

I am glad I am not the only person in this situation. LOL. I feel kind of like a b*tch for not wanting their help, but I really don't want their help. LOL. I don't know, it's just the way I feel. Hopefully now that I have told them that we aren't telling the names, and now I am going to say that they are already picked, they will just let be. One can hope anyways. LOL

 

[trumpetbum]

Smart move Exactly what I was going to suggest Good luck.

 

[Pink_Tinks]

we told everyone that we decided on a name not long after our 20wk scan coz everyone kept butting in!! we hadnt, but didnt take too much longer to decide and since then we have just said 'yes she has a name but u need to wait till shes born'
my mum still tries to get it out of me tho lol. x

 

[JCsquaredd]

I think if you like the name Hana you should go for it! I bet it's stressful trying to please everyone or politely tell family that you don't like their suggestions but I also think you shouldn't disregard a name you liked because your family likes it! Good luck