How to help?

[Nik_]

This girl from my work, that I've become quite close to lately had a miscarriage this morning. She had experienced bleeding since Wednesday, and was put on bedrest, but neglected the doctors orders. She ended up having a miscarriage this morning and is currently at the hospital in recovery from the D&C. She was 15/16 weeks along, I don't remember which. Back when she was 11 or 12 weeks she almost miscarried as well. I guess part of the reason she was in danger of and eventually had a miscarriage was because of cysts.

I just wanted to share with someone because I'm incredibly sad for her right now, and was wanting to know how I could possibly comfort her? This is the second time she's been pregnant and lost the baby. The first was back in April. She was in a car accident and was about 8 months pregnant when she lost the baby.

 

[cleckner04]

Truly, not alot will help. Watch what you say to her. There is a thread on here of the worst things anyone can say in times like this. Even saying "I understand" can be something that shouldn't be said as she probably feels like no one can possibly understand. I would suggest lots of hugs and just tell her anytime she wants to talk that you will listen. She will need all the support she can get but sometimes saying just the wrong words at the wrong time will make an awful situation even worse. I just miscarried in August and alot of things just set me off to cry even more. Good luck hun.

 

[honeybunch2k7]

How close r u two? You could send flowers, or if you know where she lives maybe you could run errands for her. I know I couldn't get out of bed at first let alone get things done.

 

[todteach]

https://www.troubledwith.com/LoveandSex/A000000341.cfm?topic=love and sex: miscarriage

https://angiealexander.tripod.com/whatnotsay.html

Thought this might help. Just be there for her. Take care

 

[charliesmom]

"Thinking of you" is as good as anything. Keep her in your thoughts, but let her guide you in how much to dicuss. It's a very difficult time, and when it's so fresh, condolences aren't as welcomed as you might think. I guess what I'm saying is, let her have her space, but let her know you're thinking of her. When she's ready to be consoled, she'll come to you.