How to punish stealing?

[xxembobxx]

Hi all

I have a 10yr old who has always had an issue with respecting other peoples property. She touches everybody elses stuff and sometimes takes her older sisters things.

Recently however she has started to steal money. Last week she took £1 from a pile I had and although she denied it at first I managed to catch her out by pretending I knew she had taken it. I told her that as she had confessed I wouldn't punish her although she was not allowed treats that week.

She has just returned from staying at my mums and she has stolen £10 from her grandads wallet. She has spent some at the local shop and had the change in her purse. She is in her bedroom now but what punishment can I give her as we have punished her so many times over touching what is not hers and it's obviously not worked.

My first thought is to throw all of her bags and purses away as she has absolutely loads. If she doesn't have them it's one less place she can hide her loot.

Anyone else had the same thing occur and dealt with it so it didn't happen again? OH's solution is to take her to the police but I don't think that will bother her as she'll know they won't do anything.

 

[dannyboygirl]

take the purses and the tv. also ask her why she feels the need to steal n who taught her that?

 

[Jody R]

I haven't been in that position but I think taking away the bags and purses is a good idea.

If you take away something important to her then perhaps she will realise it isn't nice to have other people take your things.

I'd also make her apologise in person to her grandad and pay him back the full amount she stole from her pocket money, even if he already has back the change.

 

[Kitty23]

Hmm does she get pocket money regularly? Is she stealing because she has none of her own ( not that I'm condoning whats she's doing) Maybe giving her a set amount of money each week would stop her stealing? And you could decrease the amount she gets each week for any bad behavior.

Punishment wise I would sit down and speak to her about how its terrible thats she's stealing and to think of other peoples feelings, then take something she really really likes and put it up in the loft etc until she can prove she has changed.

Or she has to "work" off the stolen money she's taken. By doing some housework etc for your mum and dad to pay back the £10. good luck xxx

 

[xxembobxx]

Thank you for your ideas.

I will definitely be making her apologise. She has already written a letter saying sorry to them but she writes "sorry letters" quite a lot when she has misbehaved and I'm a bit cynical now in thinking she thinks a letter gets her the forgiveness.

Thank you Kitty for your thoughts. I'm a bit lax in giving the kids pocket money as tbh they don't do anything around the house so I don't see why I should. I had thought about giving them a minimal amount whcih can be reduced should they misbehave or added to if they complete jobs.

Where is Supernanny when you need her? Not that she deals with older kids. I've got the baby/ toddler thing sussed now....just need help now and then with the older kids.

 

[billy2mm]

how about having a chore chart?

for every kid they have a list of things to do over the week (eg changing their bedding, hoovering their room, 1 night a week doing the dishes etc...) and each chore they complete fully gets, say, £1?

as for the punnishment, i would be taking away all priviledges eg tv, phone, computer for a week or 2 and making her go round and do chores at her granda's plus taking away the bags but maybe not throwing them away. use them as a reward for extra help around the house or good behaviour as in she gets one back every 2 weeks when she does exceptionally well at something?

 

[samsugar7]

Mum had a friend who was a police man, when my sister stole from a shop (about 7Yrs old) she asked the officer to come round and ask for my sis by name and say they saw her on CCTV

It might be extreme but my sis (as far as we know) hasnt done anything like that since.

Hope you get it sorted soon, and maybe a small set pocket money amount and then she can top it up by chores (after paying back what she owes)

xx