How to wean a 1 year old boob monster?

[missk1989]

Please help me! I have been bf for just over a year and have loved it but recently have noticed that lo doesnt actually feed from me just comfort sucks really. As soon as I pick him up from nursery he wants a feed and any other time he has been away from me. Also if he is upset he wants to feed or is tired. He eats plenty solids and drinks milk at nursery although not as much at home. Im proud of how far we have come but when he feeds now he twists and turns dragging my nipples around and pinching me. Im soooo ready to wean but he really isnt. Today I tried to refuse him a feed when he was pulling at my top but he had a total meltdown and just screamed until I give in. Ive tried distracting him but this rarely works and he doesnt have set feeds a day so I cant reduce one at a time. Anyone any advice on how to deal with this?

 

[Dream.dream]

I had same problem I had to wean my first at 11 months to be able to go back on my bipolar medication and he was such a boob man , he took it really hard .

We had to just do it cold turkey an not let him nurse anymore . We had a tough few days before he got better and probably 2 months where he would still pull at my short when he was upset .I give him pumped milk mixed half with formula for the first month and then switched to formula completely .

Next time I'm going to let baby self wean

 

[Noo]

Can you not correct his behaviour rather than weaning before he is ready?

For example; if he pulls then say no firmly and stop the feed. Consistently do this till he gets the point.

 

[missk1989]

Can you not correct his behaviour rather than weaning before he is ready?

For example; if he pulls then say no firmly and stop the feed. Consistently do this till he gets the point.

I would if he was getting any nutritional value but he is purely comfort sucking and only actively sucking for about 30 secs.

 

[Tess.ie]

You might just have to distract as much as possible and deal with the tears as best you can. I'm not very helpful sorry, but that's what we had to do when we dropped the last feed before bed a couple of weeks ago. I had a sippy cup there and offered that instead.

Maybe when you pick him up from daycare could you go straight to the park or somewhere fun so he doesn't get a bf straight away, or just try to be out and about a lot. I always found LO fed less if we weren't at home. And offer lots of water or milk in a cup or bottle. And if you decide not to feed at a given time then try not to give in, because that just sends confusing messages

 

[misspriss]

Can you not correct his behaviour rather than weaning before he is ready?

For example; if he pulls then say no firmly and stop the feed. Consistently do this till he gets the point.

I would if he was getting any nutritional value but he is purely comfort sucking and only actively sucking for about 30 secs.

It is hard to measure how much milk babies get breastfeeding, if he is still asking for it I doubt he is ready to wean, although it is your choice.

My LO looks around and de-latches and doesn't seem to get much milk most of the time during the day, but he nurses a lot at night, and that's pretty much all he eats. I would not count his distractability during the day as being "ready to wean".

I obviously haven't weaned yet, so I can't offer advice. I was 3 when my mom weaned me, and we talked about it for weeks in advance of my 3rd birthday and that was that. I don't think a 1 year old can understand that though.

 

[missk1989]

Can you not correct his behaviour rather than weaning before he is ready?

For example; if he pulls then say no firmly and stop the feed. Consistently do this till he gets the point.

I would if he was getting any nutritional value but he is purely comfort sucking and only actively sucking for about 30 secs.

It is hard to measure how much milk babies get breastfeeding, if he is still asking for it I doubt he is ready to wean, although it is your choice.

My LO looks around and de-latches and doesn't seem to get much milk most of the time during the day, but he nurses a lot at night, and that's pretty much all he eats. I would not count his distractability during the day as being "ready to wean".

I obviously haven't weaned yet, so I can't offer advice. I was 3 when my mom weaned me, and we talked about it for weeks in advance of my 3rd birthday and that was that. I don't think a 1 year old can understand that though.

Hes not getting distracted hes just not eating. He latches on and sucks which causes letdown but after he has drank the initial letdown 90% of the time he just comfort sucks.

 

[misspriss]

Can you not correct his behaviour rather than weaning before he is ready?

For example; if he pulls then say no firmly and stop the feed. Consistently do this till he gets the point.

I would if he was getting any nutritional value but he is purely comfort sucking and only actively sucking for about 30 secs.

It is hard to measure how much milk babies get breastfeeding, if he is still asking for it I doubt he is ready to wean, although it is your choice.

My LO looks around and de-latches and doesn't seem to get much milk most of the time during the day, but he nurses a lot at night, and that's pretty much all he eats. I would not count his distractability during the day as being "ready to wean".

I obviously haven't weaned yet, so I can't offer advice. I was 3 when my mom weaned me, and we talked about it for weeks in advance of my 3rd birthday and that was that. I don't think a 1 year old can understand that though.

Hes not getting distracted hes just not eating. He latches on and sucks which causes letdown but after he has drank the initial letdown 90% of the time he just comfort sucks.

Ah I mistook him looking around instead of eating for being distracted!

Perhaps the initial let down is quenching his thirst, but he is too "busy" to eat until full?

 

[daneuse27]

I notice there are a few people telling you that he is 'not ready' to wean. I personally don't think you should feel guilty if you want to stop soon. 1 year is a great age to stop at, and if he's eating a lot of healthy foods and drinking cow's milk then he doesn't really 'need' to continue to breastfeed. So don't feel pressured by him, or by others to continue if you don't want to.

I stopped around 13 months, and my daughter was 'ready' but I really think its because breastfeeding was never a comfort thing for her. It was apart of our bedtime and naptime routines, but that was it. From the time she was young, I always distracted her when she was upset so she learned to calm down other ways other than needing the boob. I think it helped her wean around the age that she did.

So in your case, if you want him to be weaned soon, then I would suggest putting a stop first to the comfort sucking. Breastfeed him before bed, or whenever you normally would but don't do it 'on command.' Maybe it'll be hard the first few days, but he will get used to it. Adapting to schedules, routines and new situations is apart of life. It might take longer to wean him since he is used to it as a source of comfort, but that will pass

 

[missk1989]

I notice there are a few people telling you that he is 'not ready' to wean. I personally don't think you should feel guilty if you want to stop soon. 1 year is a great age to stop at, and if he's eating a lot of healthy foods and drinking cow's milk then he doesn't really 'need' to continue to breastfeed. So don't feel pressured by him, or by others to continue if you don't want to.

I stopped around 13 months, and my daughter was 'ready' but I really think its because breastfeeding was never a comfort thing for her. It was apart of our bedtime and naptime routines, but that was it. From the time she was young, I always distracted her when she was upset so she learned to calm down other ways other than needing the boob. I think it helped her wean around the age that she did.

So in your case, if you want him to be weaned soon, then I would suggest putting a stop first to the comfort sucking. Breastfeed him before bed, or whenever you normally would but don't do it 'on command.' Maybe it'll be hard the first few days, but he will get used to it. Adapting to schedules, routines and new situations is apart of life. It might take longer to wean him since he is used to it as a source of comfort, but that will pass

Thanks. I dont think he will be ready for a while yet so im just going to slowly build up our routine and take my time. For some reason I keep thinking I can do this over night but I dont think cold turkey will work in this instance.

 

[nullaby]

I would unlatch when he is done actively sucking and offer milk/juice/water maybe in a new really cool cup he picked out by himself, and distract with a game or toy. I would also offer whatever liquid your giving before nursing. If he says no then don't make a big deal out of it and gradually he should choose the other and wean.

 

[AnneD]

If he asks for a feed as soon as you pick him up from daycare, perhaps he needs it to reconnect with you? Perhaps he is just not emotionally ready and being away from you in daycare makes him need the comfort more?

 

[bananaz]

My daughter also used to want to nurse as soon as I picked her up from daycare, but I didn't want to because BFing in the car took too long and was really uncomfortable for both of us. Like your son, she had huge meltdowns whenever she asked to breastfeed and I refused her or tried to distract her.

My solution was to bring snacks or toys that I knew she really liked and then get her excited about them before she had a chance to think of nursing. So as soon as I picked her up I'd say "Guess what I have for you?! A little box of RAISINS!" etc and keep talking it up until I put her in her carseat and gave her the treat.

After doing that enough times, the cycle of "Mom's here/time to nurse" was broken and I didn't need to bring treats every time, I'd just chat and snuggle with her as I carried her to the car.

If you are ready to be done nursing that's your decision. Getting to a year is an amazing feat and you should be proud of that. There's plenty of ways to "reconnect" with your son that don't involve physical pain for you.

 

[bumpbear]

When I tried telling my daughter it was time to wean after the year milestone, she fought it and became even more of a boob monster.

I realised cold turkey was not for us, because I like to indulge her and seeing her cry breaks my heart.

So in the end, I went with the distraction/ dont offer, dont refuse type approach.

Doing it that way, nursing became less of an 'i must have it' type of thing for her and over time, she began to naturally lose interest and it became just a part of her morning and evening routine.

In the end, out of the blue, at 19 months, she abruptly just stopped asking for it altogether and it came as a bit of a shock to me! I was very sad about it on a personal level and I miss our nursing sessions immensely, but she has been weaned without any tears on her part and that makes me happy. I think most kids (with a few exceptions) will wean on their own accord when they are ready to if you handle it properly. You can prompt them and guide them towards weaning but dont force it if you dont want to. x