How would you react?

[mumanddad]

Hello,

I am so angry, here is an update of my background.

when I found out i was Pregnant with Logan-George i wasn't to sure on my dates but i knew roughly when i was due (iykwim) but the hospital instantly moved my dates back by 3 weeks so instead of being due end of december/beginning of January they made my dates the end of january.

Well after a few scans they kept saying i couldnt be as far on as they thought as the baby was small (but this runs in my family) well in the end i stopped fighting with them and took there dates on.

So on monday 28th January i was meant to be going in for a Sweep but my body had different idea's.

on saturday evening my hubby had an extremly hot curry (the smell was even making my eyes run) and i had a mild curry, after an uncomfertable sleep that night i felt a trikkle of water down my legs and i thought i was weeing my self but when i stood up it felt like someone had turned a tap on... yes it was my first lot of waters.

after calling the hospital and got in the bath i felt fine until i stood up and the next lot of waters went, so i called the hospital again and told them i was on my way i wanted to be checked out.
By the time we got there it was 10 Am and they put me straight on a monitor but they couldn't find my baby's heart beat I kept asking them to try harder and saying see i can hear it listen thats it there (it was mine i could hear)

after a scan to confirm he had passed away- there was so much going on, all i can really remember was them giving me tablets to induce labour, taking a hell of a lot of blood and swobs and family coming in and out and phones ringing all day. But i chose to go home and be with my hubby i couldn't take in that my beautiful baby had died.

on monday 28th my contractions started and after 6 hours of early hours of the morning contractions i decided i had to go in and it took 5 hours from getting to the hospital to delivering him.
After we got the PM results we found out he was alread 43 Weeks gestation so my dates where right so i cant help blame them for not listening to me!!

But now my issue is this baby is due on Feb 15th and after a few issues with BP and growth of the baby (even though small babies run in the family) the consultants have decided to induce me.

My first consultant wanted to induce me a 38 weeks because he read my notes and seen all the information on Logan-George so he didnt want to be insensative but he has been promoted and hasn't got time for any patients now.

My new consultant wants to deleliver me around 37 weeks and it turns out this is on Logans birthday but they wont change it.


We have asked pleaded and begged for it to be changed but they wont
how would you feel about this?

everyone is telling me it would be wonderful for my son's to share birthdays but i dont think so.

What do you think?

Am i and my hubby acting over the top?

Sorry for such a long post,

Hayleigh x

 

[heavyheart]

Iam so so sorry you and your hubby lost your son very heartbreaking especially given them making the mistake of not listening to you, my heart feels for you huge hugs
In no way do i think you are over reacting your so entitled to not want your baby delivered on your sons birthday, the doctors need to learn a bit more on understanding and compassion!!! I know how busy they but it cant be that hard for then to move your day. I really wish you all the best and a safe delivery xxx

 

[mumanddad]

Thank you, all the older ladies think its great because it could ease thr pain, ease my pain it will make it worse!

 

[SabrinaKat]

Try and put your foot down! Tell them that you will write to your MP or somebody in authority to complain about the treatment as you lost your first-born due to doctor incompetence and you should be treated better!

best wishes

 

[Beccaaa]

I'm so sorry you lost your son ! The NHS are disgustingly shocking, you should put your foot down and tell them how it is and how you feel, they are being so insensitive! Wishing you good luck and a safe delivery! xx

 

[Sparkern]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. It must have been the most awful time for you both. I feel that they are being totally insensitive and wholly inappropriate in their treatment of you. I feel you should really put your foot down about this issue, if you feel strong enough to. Perhaps PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service for the NHS) could help. It states the following on their website:

So, what should you do if you want on the spot help when using the health service? The NHS expects all members of staff to listen and respond to you to the best of their ability. But sometimes, you may wish to talk to someone employed especially to help you. The Patient Advice and Liaison Service, known as PALS, has been introduced to ensure that the NHS listens to patients, their relatives, carers and friends, and answers their questions and resolves their concerns as quickly as possible.

Here is a link to their website, I'm sure they could help- worth a try. Good luck xx

https://www.pals.nhs.uk/default.aspx

 

[Embo78]

Hi sweetie. I'm so sorry for your loss. The Nhs can't force you to be induced on your sons birthday. Contact your local PAL's and seek advice. There must be someone high up, above your new consultant, who can help you. Your local PAL service will be able to advise on such things.
Here's the link
https://www.pals.nhs.uk/cmsContentView.aspx?Itemid=944

 

[2ndtimer]

i am due on same day my son was due last year, he came early like all my babies at 36 weeks perfectly healthy but at 6 weeks old he died from cot death. they want to induce me this time on the same date but i refused and asked for 37 week induction(if i get that far) i feel the exact same as you, i know they will be around the same time but i think picking the exact birthday is not nice and extreamly insensitive of the docs. insist on a different date, they can not refuse hun, i hope you are coping ok xx

 

[mumanddad]

I am seeing them again next week but there panicing because i am carrying more fluid then last time and i was carrying loads last pregnancy and they think when my waters boke that was when he died

im hoping they will agree on 36 or 38 weeks x

thank you for your replys x

 

[tu123]

Your story is heart breaking

How you have gotten on with life after that i will never know.

Have you sued their asses?

I would point blank refuse, handcuff yourself to the desk and say you arent moving till the date is changed.

Just do it. F@@k them.

 

[mumanddad]

It is hard extremly hard and it gets harder every year.

I am trying my hardest, im taking my mil n mum with me next week and they can get nasty hopefully they will listen to them x

 

[holymoly]

No advice from me but just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss and wishing you all the very best with your baby. Trust your instincts and kick up as much fuss as you can.

 

[mumanddad]

hello ladies, well i had an appt today with the consultant and they have said i will def be induced on Logans birthday they dont want me going through the same again so i can see why they have changed the dates again but im a little up set---- ok alot!!

i am having a membrane sweep on thursday 26th Jan so i am hoping this kick starts labour, but if not then i am hoping then when i call on the 28th for a time to go in they tell me they are to busy!!

 

[Buzzymomma]

They can't force you to have be induced that day, you have a right to have a say in your health care plan. I probably wouldn't call that day, or call so late that it would force them to do overnight or something.

 

[Embo78]

I agree. They can't physically come to your house and force you to the hospital. I just wouldn't turn up. Id go the next day and feign ignorance. Just a thought!

 

[mumanddad]

I have said to hubby i am going to call and say im ill and i will call sunday z