How young is TOO young?

[Mrs.LaVergne]

Hello Ladies, I am 20 years old, been married for two and a half years and I am a full time student. My husband has a stable full time job and we do okay for ourselves. Lately I have been thinking alot about TTC seriously, but everytime I mention it to anyone, family especially, I get the disappointed looks and words or discouragement. Several of my friends are married and have children and they are doing fine. They have support of their families and friends. But all of the negative reactions I get have been making me feel almost ASHAMED of wanting to TTC. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any advice?

 

[Calially]

To be honest, if you feel you're ready and that you and your DH are in the right place I would advise just going for it. It's not your peers choice to make a baby, it's yours and you don't need their approval because you'll make a great parent

 

[ariaforte8]

DH and I are both 22 and supporting ourselves. We've been together ~7 years and married since August 2010. Still, we are not telling anyone about TTC. It is very private decision. We will tell friends and family at an appropriate time when we get pregnant. You never know ow long ta going to take, so by the time you get pregnant the situation may be different anyway. If you two feel like you're ready an are supporting yourselves, then you have the right to make you own decision.

 

[ttcbambino#1]

My mum was married young, 17 and a half, and had me just before her 19th bday. My folks are still together and both had good careers and have always supported themselves and my siblings. They we driven, focused and knew what they wanted. I guess it is young but some people are ready young, others not till much later. I think it's a personal decision and you already have a stable home life, which I think is the most important factor young or old (well older!). I wasn't ready, mentally, financially and relationship wise till I was 29 even though it was all I thought about growing up! On the flip side, I suppose finishing your studies might be what your family see as a priority, but again it's a joint decision between you and DH. Best of luck

 

[tsyhanochka]

From my friends I know studies and babies are hard but not impossible.

And I agree talk it out with dh and decide between the 2 of you and no one else.

When you know...you know.

 

[Beth1302]

I wanted a baby from the age of 16 ! just had this urge but im 23 now and ready think every woman knows when its there time in some way

 

[Elpis_x]

I think it's more about circumstance than age (within reason!). You're financially stable and in a committed, long-term relationship, I think that should come before age. I'm 20 as well and although I am financially stable and living with my OH, I don't mentally feel totally ready for a LO yet, but I don't think 20 is too young. It's a very personal decision, don't feel ashamed, it's down to you and your husband to decide when you're ready for a baby, not everyone else! Other people always seem to think they know best when it comes to children! Personally, when I do start TTC, I won't be telling anyone, it'll just be between me and OH

 

[tristansmum]

Personally i wouldn't tell anyone about TTC. Its not their decision, its yours. How long have you got left as a student. Personally if its not long then perhaps finish before the baby arrives because its hard enough being a mummy without having to study too. BUT at the end of the day its your choice and i think its best to just go with what feels right x

 

[DooDah]

Hey

I'm 19 and ntnp #1. OH is a med student and I'm doing an open univeristy course. We've been together for almost 5 years. We started ntnp when I was 18 and although we still haven't gotten very far I completely believe that now is the right time for us!

If you're stable financially and are in a steady relationship then it's your business. We haven't really told anybody about ntnp/ttc and the few people I've mentioned it to have had the same reaction as the people you've told.

It's annoying and especially as we're not getting anywhere I can't prove yet that I'm gonna be a good mum. But ttc is way harder than anyone ever tells you so if you started ntnp it may take months and months before you got a bfp, it all depends.

Good luck! PM me if you want a chat at all

 

[littlefishygg]

I am 20 and TTC as well, and I'm a full time student, although if I get pregnant before the beginning of next school year I am going to take a year off. I agree so many people think it is a bad idea to being trying now. But personally, I think they are wrong. I have a friend who had her son just after her 19th birthday and he turns 1 later this week. She finished her studies whilst pregnant and she raises her son better than some middle aged women I know. Age is just a number really, mental age is what is important here, you know your own life better than anyone else and if you can imagine a child fitting into your life right now, then it is the right decision for you.
Good luck!!

 

[Peytons mommy]

I had my first when I was 18. Although she wasn't planned she has changed my life for the better!! Now I'm almost 21 and trying for another!! When you know you know and only you know when your ready so good luck!!

 

[F0xybabe]

I'm 21 and trying for my first and even I'm getting those disappointed talks! The only people who are supportive are my young friends who already have babies. So I just dont say anything anymore so that people dont but their noses in!

If it feels right for you then do it.

 

[JenniferS92]

Hello Ladies, I am 20 years old, been married for two and a half years and I am a full time student. My husband has a stable full time job and we do okay for ourselves. Lately I have been thinking alot about TTC seriously, but everytime I mention it to anyone, family especially, I get the disappointed looks and words or discouragement. Several of my friends are married and have children and they are doing fine. They have support of their families and friends. But all of the negative reactions I get have been making me feel almost ASHAMED of wanting to TTC. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any advice?

Hey , i'm Jenni and i'm 20, i'd never really thought about children before but i was always surrounded by my sibling and many younger cousins and second cousins. as everyone began to grow up we saw each other less and i guess you could say i missed them all. and the older cousins began having children of their own. i never said i didnt want chilldren i just guess it wasnt a thought i had while studying. i have been on and off with my now partner since we were 11 years old been stable for two. when i go to visit family with my OH they say don't be planning children! too young etc .. My one aunt says this because she had her first when she was 18. Where as My OH's family are asking when we will be having children together and we just brush them off.

We havn't told anyone we are TTC because i know the reactions of my family would be displeasing and they would make me feel bad too. i feel guilty easy lol. my mum has already said if it happens it happens but 'babies ruin your life blah blah' as far as i am concerned, if you are in a happy stable relationship and its something you both want . a baby doesn't have to 'ruin' your life, you can stil get to where you want to go if you want it hard enough.

sorry for the rant i just have a lot of opinions x

 

[Pixxie]

We had this, I was 18 when we started TTC and 19 when I got pregnant. My family all acted like it was the end of the world at first, but I just told them that baby was planned we were happy and if they couldn't be happy for us to get lost! x

 

[JenniferS92]

We had this, I was 18 when we started TTC and 19 when I got pregnant. My family all acted like it was the end of the world at first, but I just told them that baby was planned we were happy and if they couldn't be happy for us to get lost! x

That's the whole attitude i have now for when i get a BFP. telling my parents they either like it or sod off when they start complaining will honestly make my day lol. i don't see how it is any of their business if i want children and what age i have them at, although my mum has made it very clear that she never wants grandchildren!!!

I mean i'm 20 & my mum was 23 when she had me so, i am old enough to have sex, get a place of my own, pay my own bills & work etc, having a LO would complete me x

 

[youngwife20]

Im 21 pregnant at 20 married 20 bought my house 21 i have a stable job etc but people still judge me i dont give a shit . We love our daughter shes 11 weeks old my mum and grandma are so supportive and thats all we worry about! U dont let people stop u doing what u want its not about age!! When ur stable in ur relationship and can afford to have a baby then ur age is irelevent some people are in there 40s and there not suitable to raise a family dont listen to anyone do what u want if u keep listenting to others ul never get anything done goodluck xx also we didnt tell friends etc we were ttc (apart from 2 friends) i remember someone at our wedding " gosh u got married young! Lets hope u dont have kids as fast! Maybe wait 10years!" I dont think so u weirdo! Even then i justed nodded and laughed even tho we knew we were ttc. X

 

[LadyBug183]

I am 22, we've been married since Aug 2011, been together for 7 years. Bought a house at 20 and I've been graduated and working as a nurse since Sept 2011.

Even when we weren't completely financially stable we decided to TTC, we both felt ready in many other ways. This prg ended in MC. Honestly, after telling our families about the MC we got some strange reactions "you are so young" "we didn't even know you wanted to start a family yet" and what upset us most was friends and family telling us we "should wait because we have lots of time" ... how frustrating. Once we explained that we are really determined and want a baby badly, they accepted that and I know they will be thrilled for us when it does happen!

 

[AbigailHelen]

well to be fair im 18 and im a law student things arent impossible. where not trying not preventing and weve spoken and what happens happens. hes older and already has his degree in mathematics and economical sciences. we both work alot also. I think aslong as your basicly an adult and you have the maturity to match go ahead.

 

[TTC424]

Yes! My guy and I always say its never gonna be the right time. Cause if you wait your fertility goes down. If you don't you won't have as much money. I am TTY and I am 19 my guy and I are not married but we would like to be eventually. It's how we wanna do things. Or families don't agree but we are happy

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I agree age isn't a factor!... Any parent will find parenthood, difficult, challenging, rewarding etc at any age and in any circumstances.

I got pregnant when I was 17, I had nothing and I was still living with my mum!... I had to give up my college course, as I was a painter and decorator so for health and safety reasons I had to leave.

I'm now 25 (26 next month), we now have another son.. We have bought our own home, my partner is self employed, I've been to college, I've done night courses etc... In September I'm going back to college!... Yes it's been hard, but I do feel our sons have been our total inspiration for our success!...

Life does go on after having children, so whether you done studying now or later doesn't matter

I told my mum about us Ttc our third child and she just looked at me as though we were bonkers lol...