How?

[Twag]

Okay so the title may sound strange but I just wanted to know HOW people with more than one manage to sleep train the younger sibling?

So Elliot is 2.5 he goes to bed at 7 and is generally asleep by 7.30/8!

Izzy is 9 months and will fall asleep in my arms downstairs at roughly 8/8.30

I take her up to bed when we go up at 9.30/10 give her a bottle (dream feed in the hopes she sleeps longer doesn't seem to work mind you (she is ebf otherwise and on food) and put her in her cot in her room where she stays asleep until roughly 12.30 when she wakes for feed (I know right!) back to sleep whilst being fed back in her cot no problems (she has a ewan dream sheep and a comforter) she will wake back up at 2.30ish at this point because I have to get up at 6 to get ready for work I bring her in with me and she will feed/suckle and sleep until the alarm goes off or sometimes she stays asleep!
If I try feeding her and putting her back in her cot at 2.30 she then wakes an hour or so later and cry her heart out and then not settle properly which is why I started bringing her in with me as I cannot have her waking up my son and I was getting dizzy I was so tired

So I know I need to get her to self settle but I do not know how to go about this without her crying and waking my son up

OR how do I get her to sleep through the night?

ANY TIPS????

My son slept through at 6 months and I managed to get him to self settle with the gradual retreat from his room but he didn't have a sibling to wake up

 

[donnarobinson]

I would work on putting her to bed before your son that way she can't wake him if she kicks of I no a early bedtime isn't for everyone tho we've just moved Cruz in with my eldest cj
Baby goes bed at 6pm has bottle and goes down cj goes at 7.30 Cruz wakes once normally he has a bottle n bk down he hasn't seemed to be waking cj up thankfully
It's tough tho I remember when my last baby had to go in with his brother neither were sleeping thru properly but they didn't wake each other and they started sleeping through X
Also you could try naps for training her how to self settle X

 

[Twag]

Problem is we don't get in of an evening until 6.30 (from work & childcare) and my son has to go to bed at 7/7.30 as otherwise meltdown! 😞

So he will have to go to bed first and she just isn't tired at that time either 😐

 

[jessmke]

Could your OH take your older child away for a weekend to a grandparent's house or something while you start sleep training your daughter? I have never sleep trained myself but I have heard from other people who have sleep trained that the first three nights are the worst, so if your older child could be away for three nights hopefully that will be enough time for your LO to learn to fall asleep on her own. I used to do the same thing as you and bring Isla into bed with me at some point in the night. To stop that I just had a couple of sleepless nights where I made sure to always put her back in her own crib. Even if that meant getting up 5 or 6 times a night to nurse her and then put her back down. You just have to be consistent and after a couple of days she stopped expecting to come into bed with me.

Isla has always settled herself to sleep for naps and at bedtime. I just put her in the crib and leave the room and she goes to sleep by herself. I didn't train her to do this she has just always done it, but she still wakes 3-5 times at night and can't get back to sleep on her own so I have to get up to nurse her. So be prepared that even if you can teach your LO to fall asleep on her own she may still wake frequently at night.

 

[Twag]

Tbh I am not too worried about the self settling she will learn that in time
It is more getting her to sleep through

Last night was better she only woke at 1.30 fed happily went back to sleep in her cot but when she woke at 3am she didn't so I brought her in with me 😐
Maybe I will try the not bringing her in at the weekend

Working full time I need my sleep too 💤

 

[jodilee6]

I didn't sleep train DS2, he turned 1 at the end of last month and slept through for the last 2 nights all by himself

Before that he was waking at 6/6:30 for milk before going back to sleep until DS1 woke him up anytime from 7:3 onwards

If what you're doing now is working for you then I'd be hesitant to change it, but then I'm not really one for sleep training anyway

 

[Tui]

I only have one, but I have just night weaned him (hopefully) as he had become dependant on boob to sleep. He would wake at midnight and want feeding every hour or two! The first night was terrible, but he only got cuddles. I stayed firm. Second night he was restless but not crying. Third he woke at 2am, did a couple of laps of the cot, then fell asleep without issue. It was a similar result when I started putting him down awake for naps/bed a couple of months ago. Nowadays I can put him to bed and he is out in 30 seconds!

What I'm trying to say is they seem to get into a routine of using us to get to sleep. Once that is broken they sleep much better. At least in my case. Sooo the idea of taking your eldest away for a few days is a good one. Could you try that?

Good luck with it, whatever you try. No sleep is crappy.

 

[Mrsb3]

I take my 2 year old to bed first, but a film on for 3 year old on downstairs sit him in sofa with a hot chocolate and blanket and tell him I'll be 10 mins while I put his sister to bed. She takes about 10-15 to fall asleep and I stay with her.. Usually by this time 3 year old has fallen asleep on sofa watching the film ( I choose a boring one where possible) one with lots of music like frozen for example

If he haven't fallen asleep I take him up to bed read 2-3 stories then I tell him I'm going downstairs in 10 minutes so if you want mummy to stay with you while you fall asleep then you will have to try to sleep now and stop messing about. Thus works actually and he's asleep in 5 lol

 

[Twag]

Thank everyone

I am not one for sleep training either I cannot do CIO it just isn't for me but I know it works for others - I guess my initial post was a bit wrong in stating sleep training!

I didn't sleep train with my son and he is a fantastic sleeper but I do know it took him some time to self soothe

Him going away for a few nights is not an option he would freak out and hate it plus his bedtime routine includes his baby sister with story and cuddles and he would be terribly put out if she wasn't with him

TBH my DS is always smiley coming on leaps and bounds and I have no worries with her but she is very strong willed

I guess I am just worried as everyone seems to think she should be sleeping through and not needing her night feed anymore - and it is making me stress

Thank you for the tips ladies - Tui I am going to try and see if I can wean her from at least the snacking she does from 2/3am onwards at 1.30 this morning she guzzled down when feeding and was then fast asleep so I think she was hungry! whereas at 3am she was definitely using me as comfort - which tbh I don't mind too much as she doesn't see me all day

I think yesterday I was panic posting as after googling etc I figured I was doing wrong by my baby but last night I sat down and actually thought about it and how I was with her brother when he was younger and I need to just chill and do what my mummy instincts tell me too

Thank you ladies all very helpful and have given me some thoughts to work with

 

[Tui]

Yes, you do what is right for you. I had come to the end of my sleep deprived tether, so had to do something. N would always drink at night no matter when he last nursed, so for ages I thought he must be hungry. Trouble was he wouldn't take much during the day then. Vicious circle. Now he is nursing longer during the day and eating more solids. Like a normal human! lol.

Hope it goes well. It helped if I put on a big fluffy robe or something (so they can't feel the boob) and just gave cuddles for a few minutes. Quite often he would grizzle for a minute or two then nod off.

 

[Twag]

Yes my problem is although she is eating food now she will not take much milk during the day and as I am not there not much I can do about it as I am at work
I am sure if she drank more milk during the day she wouldn't need the feed at night


I will defo try the fluffy dressing gown at the 2nd wake up as she just pulls for my boob so if she can't find it she may give in here's hoping she is pretty strong willed

If I can wean her off at least one night feed to begin with that is a start

Thanks

 

[Tui]

It's a tricky cycle to break. You can't force them to eat, but one night of being a little hungry won't hurt. They soon make up for it the next day. I give N a bottle of formula before bed (long story), and tonight he took more than he has ever had, lol. Stocking up I think wish me luck, it's night no.4 of training/night weaning. Off to bed now

 

[Twag]

I give Izzy a bottle of formula before bed too she drinks the whole 7oz

Good luck they say it only takes 3 days to break a cycle so fingers crossed

 

[jessmke]

Is she waking more than usual right now or has she always woken this much? Around 8-10 months many babies have disturbed sleep and frequent waking due to some major developmental leaps. About a week ago Isla was sleeping better than she ever had (4 hour stretches, whoo hoo!) and then suddenly she started waking every 1.5-2 hrs every night and can't get herself back to sleep. I get up and nurse her back to sleep every time. I am chalking it up to the 8/9/10 month sleep 'regression' and just doing whatever I can to get her back to sleep. Once she masters whatever skill it is that her brain is working so hard on she will go back to her normal sleep patterns. It's hard to remind myself of that in the middle of the night when I have to get up for the millionth time to go and nurse her, but we will get through this and it will pass. If your LO is suddenly waking more frequently it could be due to this sleep 'regression' and I'm not an expert by any means, but I personally wouldn't attempt sleep training during a 'regression'.

As an aside, I hate the term 'sleep regression' because during these times of sleep disturbance babies are actually progressing, not regressing. Sleep is disturbed when they are learning and processing new information and developing new skills. So when I am in the thick of it I try to remind myself that this sleep deprivation is a good thing because it means my baby is learning.

 

[Twag]

You could be right she is learning new skills right now so perhaps what is causing it 👍

I have had a reflective day to day and realising I am expecting too much and just to let my babies be babies

 

[Iren_iren]

Same story here :/
Sophia will be 9 month at the end of this week and not a single sleep through :/
Since she turned 8 month, waking up every 1.5-2h and i am so desperate for sleep
What makes it worse, her cot is in our room and our son comes to our bed after midnight, so i am trying to nurse her back to sleep and not to wake up son or husband.
I am just waiting it out, but will also try to give more solids and milk during the day (she does not take bottle) and pray sleep will be better once i start work

 

[Twag]

I moved her into her own room at 8 months and it has kind of been since she has been in her own room didn't help it coincided with her 1st 2 teeth coming through and then all this new learning

Last night wasn't great she went to bed great no problems woke at 12.30 had a feed but then woke again at 1 and then 2 and then came in with me because damn it if I am getting up every hour and then going to work all day she slept like an angel next to me

I am lucky my son is a good sleeper and generally unless something wakes him (like stupid damn helicopter at 12.30 last night!) he sleeps through until 6am if he does wake he goes straight back to sleep

My daughter is a whole different kettle of fish such a different personality to him but then she is a Scorpio and he is an Aquarius