Humor...we need more of it! A funny LTTC story...

[stayinhappy]

I've decided to look on the bright side of these long, hard months of LTTC. So, in order to make someone else smile LOL...I'm sharing one of my personal...what I consider super funny TTC stories...ladies, please feel free to share yours too!

So after TTC for 16 months (we are now at 21 months) my husband was still pretty clued out as to how the female reproductive tract works, basically he was more of a "tell me when to show up and I will...." kind of man...lovely man he is!

Sooo after some intimate time the night before...we were cutting veggies together at our kitchen counter and chatting. I had mentioned that I was feeling some "leakage" from our intimate time the nite before. Thinking hard about this statement...he says to me very seriously (while waving a celery stick for emphasis)..."Yup...you got to have blocked tubes...that's got to be the problem here..."! I almost died laughing...tears, the whole bit.

And then I realized he isn't a woman, so he probably doesn't understand how our bodies work after intimate times. It was so funny, and honest, and I just giggle every time I think of this story!

I love this man to pieces...just thought I would share some humor...trust me there is waaaay more funny stories to tell...I'll get to those another time!

Have a lovely day ladies!!

 

[tamithomas]

hahaha, well my semi funny story is my DH has sperm problems and he said "if my sperm are anything like me, they're too lazy to do the swimming the whole way and are sitting there waiting to hitch a ride" LOL

 

[justhoping]

hahaha, well my semi funny story is my DH has sperm problems and he said "if my sperm are anything like me, they're too lazy to do the swimming the whole way and are sitting there waiting to hitch a ride" LOL

LOl that is really cute. Men csn be cute at time and not even know it. Dont worry I will not inform them hehe

 

[laustiredttc]

gosh i needed that laugh thank you

I had begged my dh to go for a sa for a bit before he gave in. When he came home after having his sa done he said in all seriousness 'I hope those little fuc%&*$ are olympic swimmers because i am NEVER doing that again' Obviously a bit concerned (mostly curious) i said, if a little unsympathetically (well i mean i think i have done quite a bit on my part!!!!) 'Oh come on, it cant have been that bad, you get to look at porn and pleasure yourself' He said, 'When i got there they said the rooms where fully booked and i could either go home and come back later when they're free or use the toilets'. My dh is not the most patient of men and would have hated to prolong the agony so decided to use the toilets. I said, 'still a little play before going back to work, bonus right?' He said, 'well it would have been if it wasnt for the guy in the cubicle next to me having an almighty, smelly, prolonged SHI*. He was in there for ages moaning and groaning, i was f'ing traumatised love' Well i just keeled over lmfao.

He did manage to get it done though about half an hour after the guy went. LOL

I think if he ever has to go back, then he will be patient and WAIT!!

 

[sarahlou1985]

Lmao Laustiredttc! My OH had a similar experience except he decided to use the toilet in thee busies part of the hospital rather than risk the journey there clutching it.

I stood near cringing every time someone went in. That must be so annoying when you're trying to go to a happy place!! He managed, quite quickly bless him haha! But I don't think we'd ever want to go through that again! x

 

[HearMyPrayers]

very cute stories and its nice to see the funny side of everything we all go through!

 

[Sizzles]

gosh i needed that laugh thank you

I had begged my dh to go for a sa for a bit before he gave in. When he came home after having his sa done he said in all seriousness 'I hope those little fuc%&*$ are olympic swimmers because i am NEVER doing that again' Obviously a bit concerned (mostly curious) i said, if a little unsympathetically (well i mean i think i have done quite a bit on my part!!!!) 'Oh come on, it cant have been that bad, you get to look at porn and pleasure yourself' He said, 'When i got there they said the rooms where fully booked and i could either go home and come back later when they're free or use the toilets'. My dh is not the most patient of men and would have hated to prolong the agony so decided to use the toilets. I said, 'still a little play before going back to work, bonus right?' He said, 'well it would have been if it wasnt for the guy in the cubicle next to me having an almighty, smelly, prolonged SHI*. He was in there for ages moaning and groaning, i was f'ing traumatised love' Well i just keeled over lmfao.

He did manage to get it done though about half an hour after the guy went. LOL

I think if he ever has to go back, then he will be patient and WAIT!!

Oh my goodness! The poor man - how undignified! Luckily both SAs my hubby did were 'performed' at home then driven very quickly by yours truly to the hospital within the required time. I do fear, however, if we end up going down the IVF route he may well struggle with 'performing' in the hospital, especially knowing I'm being prepped for the procedure to extract my eggs! Can't be easy feeling horny with something like that on your mind!

Anyway, my 'vaguely funny'. Having been ttc for 2.5 years now, my tummy was grumbling for food very loudly the other day whilst we were sitting having a cuppa; OH says "Crikey! You must have a monster in there!" I replied "Yes, and it's eating all my babies!"

 

[Dolly84]

Hey everybody.... It's sooo funny reading everybody's story's.....so I thought I'd share mine....
My oh performed his sa at home and Rode his motorbike to get it there a bit quicker.....he was all flustered when he arrived at reception as he was running out of time.... The receptionist said she would call one of the lab techs to drop his "sample" off. A guy walked through to take his sample off him and my oh nearly dropped the pot....the lab tech turned out to be my oh's cousin!!!!!!!! How embarrassing!!!!! He said to him"erm....just make sure they swim will ya" hahahahah I was howling laughing..... We didn't even realise he worked at the hospital let alone in that department!!! He has kept it to hisself tho which is a bonus ;-) x

 

[tamithomas]

I have one but it's not directly LTTC related but it's baby related... for the past four years, my DH (Even when we were still friends) kept on saying he has a feeling I'm gonna end up with triplets.. since we've been TTC together 3 years, we have a constant back and forth

Me: one
DH: triplets
Me: one
DH: triplets

and it goes on and on lol

 

[green turtle]

Have you guys seen this website?

https://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/

It has had me in tears of laughter over infertility.

 

[Seoul]

My DH has had to have many SA since we started TTC almost 6 years ago. The first time ever he said it was so awkward because he was afraid the nurses were paying attention to how much time he was spending in there. He said if its too fast they will laugh at me if it is too long I will be a creep. Poor thing waited what he thought was a prudent time.

Then this last time he gave his donation for our IVF cycle he did his thing and the nurse came out 20 minutes later asking for more cause I had so many eggs retrieved. Before we left the nurse told him to wait cause they might need even more he said grab your purse were out of here theres nothing else thats gonna come out of me! Poor thing!!

And of coarse there is the first time I put my legs up in the air after being intimate I did it while he was washing off and when he came back in the room he just looked at me and said well thats a very flattering pose made a few jokes of coarse and went to bed!

Oh the joys of TTC. There are way to many to count for us never a dull moment!

 

[laustiredttc]

ha ha ha these stories are great!

I tell ya girls i have actually sang whilst having my legs in the air, 'c'mon little spermies, swim swim swim la lala la la'. dh is like, 'seriously love, their hard core, if your going to sing to them, hum the theme tune from mission impossible or something' yep now my poor dh is losing it too

 

[Lawgirl]

ha ha ha these stories are great!

I tell ya girls i have actually sang whilst having my legs in the air, 'c'mon little spermies, swim swim swim la lala la la'. dh is like, 'seriously love, their hard core, if your going to sing to them, hum the theme tune from mission impossible or something' yep now my poor dh is losing it too

I love it! I I now want to compose my own song...

 

[tamithomas]

ha ha ha these stories are great!

I tell ya girls i have actually sang whilst having my legs in the air, 'c'mon little spermies, swim swim swim la lala la la'. dh is like, 'seriously love, their hard core, if your going to sing to them, hum the theme tune from mission impossible or something' yep now my poor dh is losing it too

ROFLMAO

This thread is too precious, stalking!

 

[laustiredttc]

its nice to laugh for a change instead of feeling like crap. think i'll be stalking also

 

[tamithomas]

Had one happen this morning. My DH is a huge lover of hot sauce, everything that can go on it he'll put it. Anyways during the one week I knew I was BFP before MC I started having the craving for spicier foods (I usually even hate steak spice because of the pepper around it I'm that anti spicy food) And he says "Alright time to make another baby, I want you on the dark side" LOL. It's true though sometimes the best medicine is plain old laughter.

 

[laustiredttc]

lol, men bless them. Ya gotta love em