Husband acting weird

[Hollynesss]

Hi girls

I wondered if any of your significant others act this way, and how you deal with it.

We were supposed to start TTC last December, but my husband was laid off, so we put it off. Thankfully he got another job within a month, so we were going to start in January. Well, come January, he completely panicked. He didn't feel ready, didn't think it was a good time, and just didn't want to go through with it at the time. After a long talk, we decided to NTNP until June. (Due to a few off cycles, this didn't really get to happen unfortunately!)

We went on vacation a few weeks ago and started to TTC for real. The condoms went in the trash, and we've been BDing a LOT for the last few weeks However, my husband will not talk about it, and gets annoyed when I do talk about it. He doesn't want to discuss babies, or baby names, or even talk about when I'm ovulating or anything like that. I asked him the other night if he was truly on board, and he said yes, definitely, he wants a baby, he just doesn't see any point in talking about it until its "real."

Have any of your SO acted this way?? There are things I would love to talk about, especially about the TTC process, but I'm not sure how to get him to open up about it. Any advice would be super!!

 

[baby_rose]

My bf has been aaking for kids since day one and now 4 years later im ready he's more than excited but like ur case he doesnt want to see any opks vitamins or anything its a mood killer for them girl

 

[maggz]

My DH is kinda the same - he doesn't get pissed or anything when I talk about it but he doesn't really wanna be involved in it either, I think baby_rose is right, they kinda think about it like they only have to do the deed and don't get us fretting over all the other stuff. What to eat, vitamins, OPKs and all that - it's not their bodies and I truly think they don't get it! After all, it's not them who spend hours on forums like this and looking up information and temp and track CM and all that jazz.

I wouldn't worry about it but maybe tell him that you like to be able to talk to him about it. In return, he might ask you not to tell him the details but strictly what he needs to know. For the details, you have us

Hope it all goes well

 

[_katrine_b]

I would say, you need to explain the importance of knowing this stuff, he needs to understand how the whole process works and the importance of the right day and time. I think a lot of men don't get it and think you can get pregnant any time lol.. Make sure you say you want him to know because its important to you and its going to make to process easier... but yeah i also agree some guys think its such a turn off with all the talk of peeing on this peeing on that and yadda yadda...

Just be open and tell him to be open..

 

[AndreZZ]

I think men in general find it to be a turn off when we obsess over ovulating, baby making etc etc. Don't even tell him you're ovulating just seduce him!!!
It may be that he feels pressure when you tell him you're ovulating etc.

 

[hairftsher]

that's kind of unfortunate, because it is something that you two should be doing together, every step of the way - arguably, more so than anything else you'll ever do.
my boyfriend is often the one to bring it up, & before we even tried to get pregnant, we talked about how great it would be to have children, & picked out names then. he often rubs my stomach & randomly says things like "i want a baby in there" & often asks me about "when is the right day" (he's so cute for not knowing the word ovulation, right? lol).

i guess for some men it's a turn off? but, i think for me, that would be a turn off. you're making a child together - every step of the way....

why wouldn't he want to be involved?

 

[baby_rose]

Thats wonderful that u have a man like that but reality for most of us yes it will get to our men, after 9 cyvles i sorta hate when he plays with my stomach ttc is difficult for some and very emotional

 

[hairftsher]

Thats wonderful that u have a man like that but reality for most of us yes it will get to our men, after 9 cyvles i sorta hate when he plays with my stomach ttc is difficult for some and very emotional

i understand that. we've been ntnp since november, & only really decided to start now. we're on cycle 3 & nothing, but being sad & down & feeling like your husband isn't into it as much as you are isn't helpful either. that was my point.

 

[Hollynesss]

Thanks so much for your support, ladies

hairftsher- My husband does want to be involved. It isn't that he isn't into it, I know it just makes him nervous. I mean, he is in the mood waaaaayyyyyy more now that we've started TTC than he ever has been before, so I know that he is into it. I also know that I tend to over-prepare (for everything in my life, haha!) and he lets me do my thing, he just has that mentality of "it will happen when it happens" and doesn't feel the need to stress over it. I just wish he would open up a little bit more about it, and wanted input from ladies who are in the same boat as me.

Maybe guys just feel under pressure when they have to perform when the OPK turns positive? Maybe they think it takes away from the passion to schedule in BD? I'm just speculating about the reasons for it!

 

[maggz]

Yeah I think it does make them feel pressured but once you get started you'll forget that you decided to bd because your o'ing and it will be just like any other time

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

My husband only wants to know when I pregnant (hasn't happened yet), if something is wrong (turns out I stopped ovulating this last cycle...) and occasionally he will talk baby names. lol. I think it is really a guy thing. talk about things that interest him and get him really amped up about something like my hubby is a mechanic so anything cars, trucks or motorcycles is key to a good conversation starter. Then I add in things like well if we have a boy then you're teaching him to drive and then he starts talking about kids and will actually get into a full on baby conversation, but it's a little uncomfortable for them I think to just talk about babies. Now that we have been TTC since last October, he's more relaxed and will randomly ask if I like this name or that and what room we are going to make into a nursery etc etc. It just takes some time.

 

[hairftsher]

Lol I guess I understand that. Maybe it's different for is because we don't bd on a cycle & I don't temp & chart, etc. we just bd daily because it's how we have always been. I can understand that if you talk about it in terms of a schedule that it would ruin it for the man. Making something romanic and fun a task is no bueno for the mood. But I would feel hurt if my hubby never wanted to talk about it or learn about it. He practically sat down with a notebook when we talked about ovulaion. I suppose I'm lucky.

 

[Hollynesss]

I don't put our sex life on a schedule. We don't only bd when it's that time of the cycle, I just try to make sure that we do when it is in the prime time.

I'm happy for you that your husband is so receptive. Best if luck to you.

Thank you all for the input from ladies who do understand what I mean!

 

[CrazyCharlie2]

We don't BD on a set schedule either, but do try to BD more often around O. We usually BD once a week, which is out norm, unless we are on vacation

 

[wantbump]

My husband was the same. In fact he still is. Whenever I used to talk about TTC he would just never commit and then finally one day he told me he didn't want kids. After lots and lots of soul searching he decided he wanted to do it because I want it. So far he's been really nice and bding when I ask him to and he kind of knows when I ovulate because I tell him to get ready. He wants me to tell him beforehand. I haven't discussed a lot about the TTC process with him but he never said no to anything. It's just that since I know he didn't want this at the beginning and he is doing it for me I don't talk a lot about the process. But he is always there with me at the doc and interested about everything - what she says, the medicines and stuff. She remarked he might have to get a SA test done and he is very open to that too. Which I was afraid he won't want to do. But he says he doesn't see why not. He is my best friend. But I guess not everyone is lucky in the sense that your hubby will be the one wanting babies. But since he committed I know he will keep his promise to me.

 

[Scottswife32]

I guess I'm one of the few lucky ones that can say my husband is fully involved in it and wants to hear about it all, but of course this is just our second month trying so who knows after a few months if nothing happens that may change but i dont know hes just as curious about this stuff as i am because i have just starting temping and doing opks this month cause i just came off bc in may after being on it for 2 years so hopefully this will be my month as i got a pos opk this morning and it was a great morning to get it to cause it is our second wedding anniversary today lol.. and i sure do hope you can get your hubby to open up and talk about it because it makes it so much easier when the hubby is just as much involved in the other stuff!