Husbands/Boyfriends Supportive???

[Moonpieash]

Not to get personal but are your men that supportive of everything? My husband is in some areas but not as much as I would like him to be.

Positives:
-Talks to my belly
-occasonally rubs feet and back not all the time without complaint
-will look at baby clothes fo r a few minutes but not too long-he's more interested in the cribs and strollers.

Negatives-
-always researching/reading about hunting/guns and boy stuff
-Hasn't read one baby book even thought I have tried to get him to
-looking at other women in front of me/thinking about other women
-calling me a brat and other bad names
-doesn't want to listen to me when I need to talk or rant
-thinks a 5 month old can walk
-I was hurting after walking in 30 degree cold weather to the capital in D.C. I had to stop because I was having muscle contractions- it hurt so bad I cried- He said other pregnant women could to it
-drinks and does all the normal stuff as he did before why I make all the sacrafices
- There's more but that should be enough

I never thought he'd be this way...do you think he'll change when the baby gets here?

 

[Ellianna]

Hmm, hard one to call.
Men have a very different way of dealing with everything so they're bound to have a different way of dealing with pregnancy. You still have a little while to go, maybe he'll get more into it during the later stages of ur pregnancy?
As cheesy as it sounds I think the best way to change that is to sit down and talk about it. Explain to him how ur feeling and that you would like him to do a few things for you.
Knowing men he probably doesn't even realise that it would be nice if he did a bit more for you!
My OH James has been very supportive, the biggest problem we have is me being so hormonal I seem to be snapping at him all the time over the smallest things. Luckily, he's been patient with me so far though
Hope things get a little better for u huni, I'm sure they will
xxx

 

[charlottecco2]

gosh i know how you feel, sometimes i don't think he understands how i feel at all. I think its a man thing, but it really gets me down xx

 

[Samantha675]

There is no way our men could know how we feel, they are physically incapable of it, so there for mentally unable to imagine what it must be like. My DH is very supportive, but little things drive me nuts. But they were things that bothered me before I got pregnant.

 

[Always&4ever]

I've been lucky, my OH has been fantastic, he rubs my back, cooks romantic meals for me despite having to work 6am until 6pm, and listens to me moaning and never complains, he constantly talks to my bumop and loves watching my belly move as the baby wiggles. Hope it gets better for you honey x

 

[yumumleelou]

mmm he sounds asif its not quite hit home yet! my fiance i great but does drink but asks me first if he can which makes me feel like i own him and thqats not what i want.
he loves reading but wont read the books. and he offers me food i cant eat but thats it!

 

[mummy2b]

My boyfriend is really supportive!! He won't go out unless i have plans cause he worries if he leaves me on my own, he cooks for me, talks to my belly, tickles my back, puts up with my rants and cuddles me every night for hours when i'm feeling down. He really is the most amazing person i could imagine!! Considering we are both only 18 i think he is really mature, he keeps saying to me that he understands that we made the decision together and that if i am making sacrifises then he will to!!
Maybe when you get a bit bigger and you really need him, he will realise how much of a responsibility it is and he might be more supportive!! but don't worry... at the end of the day he is a lad and not all lads have the mentle capacity to understand our feelings lol!! i would like to say all lads are like mine... but unfortunitly there not!!
hope things get better!! and if not make sure you rant louder so he can't help but listen lol!!
lv ya xxx

 

[metu]

As the man half, i can say its unfortunate if you ladies feel that way....i'm only newly pregnant (u know wot i mean!! lol ) it is a big adjustment at the begining. It IS hard for us to get our head around some things especially if we are too busy being extatic at knowing we will be a daddy...i would like to think i do as much as i can but sometimes (already even though it not very far in!) i can get a little frustrated if i am concentrating or if i have just checked if she needs anything and then immersed myself in doing something (not to say im not happy to do it...just that i wish i could finish doing something before the need arises)

 

[luckyme225]

My fiance has become very protective of our baby boy and is very caring but every now and then he gets delusional.

 

[Tam]

Reading his books rather than baby books, very normal on the whole, baby books are boring, nothing gadgety about them and nothing 'real' as yet to relate to!
Eyeing up other women - I would do my nut and kick him in his!
Cribs & Strollers - they are gadgets to men!
Not listening to Ranting & monaing - when do they?
Telling you other pregnant women can do it - They are experts all of a sudden even tho they have no idea of what you are going thru!
Calling you names - well that's their mentallity!


MEN!

Need I go on?


My OH never showed any interests in books, but tbh I think he just wasn't as 'obsessed' as I was about the whole thing. And I think that is what it mainly boils down to babe, and as for thinking a 5 month old can walk, he will learn as baby grows, he will get to know the limitations a baby has. It is so different to imagine how things will be, to how they actually will be......

Paul came to every appointment, even just at the GP. We even rowed about a pram as he wanted as much say in things as I had......I told him he wasn't normal copping the hump because I wanted to chose the pram given the fact I would be using it 99% of the time, I told him, I wanted a MAN as a partner not a bloody woman! If he had of been chosing ones I could actually work, it may not have been such a big a deal, but I was thinking about how I will get it up & down on my own, plus I wanted to like it! But he quickly reminded me then "There are a lot of women out there that would be pleased to have their partner showing so much interest"

I ended up so dibalitated with HG & SPD that he had to do 99% of things for me, including dressing me, so I found him a great support! He really helped out, there was no way I could have coped without him, he used to get up early to do lunches for our daughter and me, aswell as sort her uniform out and lay it out, quickly hoover and unload and re-load the dishwasher. Then he would get me up at 4.30am, as I couldn't get downstairs on my own, made sure I had everything from food, to drinks etc so I only needed to get up for minimal things. Then he would come home, sort dinner, put Jade to bed, tidy up and put me in the bath, rub my back and put me to bed. So there is no way I can say I never got any support, infact I think he suffered as much as I did with the pregnancy!

But I dare say that if I never went thru any of that, that I would have thought he showed very little interest in things, but then he isn't the sort of person to wear his feelings on his sleeve, and I have never seem him excited about anything, even when I told him I was pregnant, although he was pleased, he never jumped for joy like I did.....he used to say "what is there to be excited about? I will be excited when he is here, that is when the excitment starts!" He never said it nasty and he never meant it nasty, he was just explaining how he felt when we were having a chat about the whole thing...... he just speaks his mind and says things as they are to him, he is very black & white aswell as a realist, it drives me mad. But when he first felt Alfie move, he did get all excited, and he actually asked what it felt like for me, and I was so pleased as he now showed genuine interest at that point. But it never lasted

Although having said all that, as I said, he came to everything with me, he even used to come home with bits he had bought for Alfie etc, so he did show interest in his own way, but maybe again, just not as 'obsessed' as I was. It must be very different for them as we do the carrying and bond with our bump, there really isn't anything for them to associate with, except our bellies, scans and heartbeats.....but that is all on screen or thru a device, there is nothing solid for them to associate with, of that makes sense? Well that's how I think of it anyway.

He may improve as things progress and he see's movement in your tummy for himself or just generally as the end is near.

Not that any of that helps you now, but I am sure he will get better once baby is here, infact watch out you might not get a look in

 

[Linzi]

Sometimes my fiance is fantastic and he really does look after me and spoil me, and he's taken a great interest in the babys development and really wants to be involved.

But sometimes he just doesn't get it. For example last week when I had flu I was in bed and told him I had a splitting headache, so he got me a paracetamol and started playing his guitar next door through his amp, even though he got some headphones for Christmas.

Sometimes I think he's not all there, but to be honest, I dont think theres many men that are. And I know Im just as bad sometimes.

I hope it gets better for you - talking is probably the key. Men react differently to pregnancy sometimes and he might be scared.

Hope it works out ok

xxx

 

[Tam]

They just don't think half the time! x

 

[Moonpieash]

I'm glad to hear similiar stories...I guess I should be happy he's doing what he is doing. It could be worse. I guess I'm just scared of being on my own knowing how to take care of a baby...I want to feel comfortable letting him taking care of a baby even though he knows very little about it. I feel like I'm doing all the work. Still I should be appreciative for the good things.

 

[nikkybaby]

Not to get personal but are your men that supportive of everything? My husband is in some areas but not as much as I would like him to be.

Positives:
-Talks to my belly
-occasonally rubs feet and back not all the time without complaint
-will look at baby clothes fo r a few minutes but not too long-he's more interested in the cribs and strollers.

Negatives-
-always researching/reading about hunting/guns and boy stuff
-Hasn't read one baby book even thought I have tried to get him to
-looking at other women in front of me/thinking about other women
-calling me a brat and other bad names
-doesn't want to listen to me when I need to talk or rant
-thinks a 5 month old can walk
-I was hurting after walking in 30 degree cold weather to the capital in D.C. I had to stop because I was having muscle contractions- it hurt so bad I cried- He said other pregnant women could to it
-drinks and does all the normal stuff as he did before why I make all the sacrafices
- There's more but that should be enough

I never thought he'd be this way...do you think he'll change when the baby gets here?

Believe me...you are not the only one going through that. My OH is very excited, but still seems to carry on sometimes like nothing is changing. We have gotten into quite a few heated arguments due to his lack of understanding. He is good most of the time, but the thing that always bothered me is the fact that he is able to continue the normal stuff and expect me to sit around and watch him do it. I tried telling him that I have made so many sacrifices, and he still carries on. He said that he's just doing it now, and everything will be different when the baby is here....

They just don't understand things, even if we do try talking to them about it.
Men............

 

[Firsttimer]

I know just how you feel hun.

My boyfriend is good in ways like he is excited and will talk about when baby is here. Sometime rub my back or give massage if I beg him

Bad sides are doesnt seem interested in clothes or any baby bits.
Doesnt seem interested in feeling baby move - he thinks baby will get in destress if i keep pocking my belly.
He still we argue with me and call me names
Still wind me up about other women
Thinks I play up and that other pregnant women fly through it and can do everything they are superwomen and im not

I get so angry with him at times he just doesnt understand

 

[PitBullMommy]

At first I didn't think DH was being very supportive. Then I started getting really sick with the HG and..wow. I think I have the best DH in the universe. If I wanted something, he'd go out and get it. He would rub my back, run for the 'puke pail', take care of the house and pets. Now he still rubs my back, runs out to get me stuff, helps with the house, talks about Peanut, read the two books that I got him and stuff. He's AMAZING! He is the one that uses the doppler on me, talks to the Peanut and such

 

[Firsttimer]

Im so jealous of all u women who have great supportive partners I wouldnt change my partner but I would make he more supportive ... maybe ill have a chat later ..... the only thing he seems to do is leave me have a lie in when im meant to get up for work he says he feels sorry for me having to get up early and go to work and im pregnant

 

[honeybunch2k7]

*sigh* I know the feeling. When he comments about other women, it makes me upset. He doens't do it often, but still I don't like it.

OH is good about making me food when I'm hungry, but he's not very sympathetic when I tell him how tired and bloated baby makes me.

I don't know if he changes though. Be sure to tell OH how you feel.

My OH will drink in front of me like ain't no tomorrow. The time before last we went to Chili's and he had 4 margaritas in front of me. He reminds me of how I won't be able to drink on my 21st cuz I'm preggo.

I don't think he's quite excited about fetal development as I am.

 

[Jules]

My OH wants to come to all the appointments with MW and scans etc work permitting, and he shows interest in what baby items i have been buying etc, we went looking at prams at the weekend which he seemed to really enjoy!!

He has also taken over some of the household chores as before i got pregnant i preferred to do it all myself and he had even cooked twice for me this week! more times in one week then the whole 4 years we've lived together LOL

So i guess he is rather supportive and i have been a right cow with mood swings! The only thing that still gets on my nerves is the pestering me for sex!!! i know its been a long time, but i just can't be ar$ed!!! i feel a BIT sorry for him tho, i just dont feel very sexy with the extra weight, baby inside me etc etc

 

[babymello]

Not to get personal but are your men that supportive of everything? My husband is in some areas but not as much as I would like him to be.

Positives:
-Talks to my belly
-occasonally rubs feet and back not all the time without complaint
-will look at baby clothes fo r a few minutes but not too long-he's more interested in the cribs and strollers.

Negatives-
-always researching/reading about hunting/guns and boy stuff
-Hasn't read one baby book even thought I have tried to get him to
-looking at other women in front of me/thinking about other women
-calling me a brat and other bad names
-doesn't want to listen to me when I need to talk or rant
-thinks a 5 month old can walk
-I was hurting after walking in 30 degree cold weather to the capital in D.C. I had to stop because I was having muscle contractions- it hurt so bad I cried- He said other pregnant women could to it
-drinks and does all the normal stuff as he did before why I make all the sacrafices
- There's more but that should be enough

I never thought he'd be this way...do you think he'll change when the baby gets here?

Trust me girl, he's the happiest man ever. Wait until the baby comes.

Women are very detail orientated, and most men are not. We have to explain everything. In their minds they have it all mapped out.

He hears you, so don't feel bad. Just try to understand your mate and don't let what he does stress you.

Mellow