I am caving in:(

[Emmea12uk]

for the last few days tom has done nothing but cry and is only soothed by a dummy for a few minutes or the boob. he is such a skinny baby i am really starting to stress badbly that he isnt getting enough milk. He doesnt latch so we have to use a shield which makes it harder for him to get enough milk. he feeds for as long as you let him (at least an hour) and always comes off hungry. It all got a bit much, we were feeding for up to two hours and I was getting tired and emotional. He falls asleep after two minutes no matter what i do, so i have to wind him, change his nappy etc to wake him up, but then he falls asleep again. I have tried everything!

The only thing that settled him was a bottle so I was expressing and topping him up, but i dont seem to be able to express much any more So i have started giving him formula and it works! he actually sleeps and looks much better.

I am such a failure. I am well on to the road of giving up completely. I know the more formula he has, the more my milk will dry up but i cant take the guilt of him being hungry.

I wanted to breastfeed so badly for at least 6 months! But i cant take the stress any more. My nan was never able to produce milk at all and my mother had to give up after a month with all four of her children due to poor milk supply and stress. I am wondering if i was always doomed, especially getting it together after his stay in hospital. I had to express exclusively for over a week and i know that is no good for establishing a supply, then he stopped demanding, then we had to go days without feeds due to surgery. been pumping like mad and letting him suck like mad to get my supply back.

I feel so bad but less stressed now I know he has had a good feed.

 

[bigbelly2]

hey listen lady plum face!!

your not a failure, you are doing what is right for you baby, he is telling you what he wants and he wants a happy mommy, you are getting stressed and he knows your not happy, breast feeding is not the be all and end all, you have given him your goodness *the first three days* which is so important!! I was in exactly the same situation as you and all the midwives said to me what is most important is a happy mommy and a happy baby. Tommy now has bottles and a breast feed once a day more for comfort more than anything else i think, he too falls asleep so i let him go ahead and just enjoy he and mommy time (he looks sooo cute) hes getting there hes 6lb 6oz now and your mr tom tom will do exactly the same!!

babe dont beat yourself up, if you want to increase your milk production so you can still express or do part breast feed and then a top up with a bottle get some donperidone (sp?) from the chemist it makes your production increase!

keep smiling our tommies are here and all gorgeous and munchy!!

h x

 

[Emmea12uk]

Thanks hayley! you made me feel a zillion times better. I think I will keep breast feeding him in the mornings as I love that time we have to ourselves. He is so precious when he feeds. I didnt know you could get something to make you make more milk?!? I will def ask my MW!

 

[Samantha675]

Hun you are not a failure by any means. You have had some major obsticles to overcome that were not conducive to breastfeeding, but you still hung in there and did your absolute best for your son. And to be honest, even without the problems you have had, breastfeeding is really difficult at times. So do what you can, and know you are a wonderful loving mother!

 

[sonny]

Hey hun dont panic.
I was in the same boat expressing etc and still can only get 30ml tops off a machine! Special care recommended breastfeeding for half an hour only when you can then after to offer tabs up to 120mls(4oz) she usually has on average about 60-70mls of it.i also express when i can,about 4 times a day so i can put her meds in it.
Its horrible not knowing what he is getting.

I spoke to my health visitor on thurs about because the boys are going to their mums for 2 weeks from tomorrow i want to exclusively breastfeed as it will only be me and her,i asked if i am putting her in any risk and she said definately not it will just be a couple of grumpy hell days but my supply will definately come in as it didnt come in before because she was tube fed etc.

Try that hun until you feel better in yourself and you are sure he is ok to,maybe ask his dr etc?

 

[Linzi]

You're not a failure at all, you're doing what you think is best. Only you know your son, and your instinct will let you know what the best thing is. It mjust be disappointing, but don't feel guilty.

xxx

 

[ryder]

You arn't a failure, dont let yourself think that for one minute!

I have nothing against breastfeeding, and I also think it is an amazing thing. Unfortunately there are some people who are much too finatical and I really think they make other mothers feel guilty and badly when they dont breastfeed, either by choice or other reasons.

You are going to do what you feel is the best for your little baby, and if that means switching, then thats what it means. Formulas are NOT that different anymore, and many good quality ones have almost the same nutrients and such as breastmilk.

The plus side with using bottles is that you can monitor how much he is actually getting and also how much his appetite is increasing as time goes on.

 

[marley2580]

You're not a failure hun, you just need to do what's best for your baby. If you want to keep feeding, I'd suggest that you get in touch with a BF counseller, call the helpline - 08444 122 949 - and speak to someone about it

 

[tinytoes]

hey missy. you're no failure. keep trying to express that milk and hopefully it wont dry up. You're doing the best you can. And if baby is looking healthier then thats the best!!

Teddy too had trouble suckling enough milk. My Midwife weighed him before i breastfed him and then again after, to see how much milk he too. this was when he was a few days old. Turned out he had hardly taken any so I express it now. If my milk production goes down I'll have to give him formula too, but so be it. To had your milk for the first few weeks of his life, so thats a great start.

 

[Emmea12uk]

Hey hun dont panic.
I was in the same boat expressing etc and still can only get 30ml tops off a machine! Special care recommended breastfeeding for half an hour only when you can then after to offer tabs up to 120mls(4oz) she usually has on average about 60-70mls of it.i also express when i can,about 4 times a day so i can put her meds in it.
Its horrible not knowing what he is getting.

I spoke to my health visitor on thurs about because the boys are going to their mums for 2 weeks from tomorrow i want to exclusively breastfeed as it will only be me and her,i asked if i am putting her in any risk and she said definately not it will just be a couple of grumpy hell days but my supply will definately come in as it didnt come in before because she was tube fed etc.

Try that hun until you feel better in yourself and you are sure he is ok to,maybe ask his dr etc?

Thanks for that Sonny! i think i will give that a go, but when do you express? I was expressing after a feed to fool my brain into thinking i need to make more, but i was getting next to nothing off. I can only get 3oz off when i havent fed him for more than 4 hours.

so when you go exclusive, do you just have to let them go hungry and let them feed all the time until you start producing enough? How do you know when you are producing enough? tom stops swallowing after 5 mins of feeding and there never seems to be any milk in his mouth. Sounds very hard. I wish you luck and I will give it a go myself and go exclusive again when i think my supply is up. Have you tried the herb that has been recommended on here?

Also, how do you know when they have had enough? with the bottle, he doesnt stop feeding no matter how much you give him and with the boob he will go on forever as well.

 

[ryder]

I dont think a baby should ever go hungry... You can express milk at any time of the day, my sister was most successful in the morning (but expressed several times a day for twins) and would express as much as possible, it can be reffrigerated after it is expressed and it can be frozen also if used within a reasonable time.

However, some people can express, some can't... Same with breastfeeding, some people can do it and produce enough, some people cant. Make sure you are eating lots of protein and drinking alot too, both are necessary for milk production.

I have heard some people say that they produce/leak milk if they hear a baby crying too...

You will find what works for you.

 

[KarenLV]

Why dont you try mix feeding?Bottle and breast alternated through the day.Anyways your liitle boy will be fine.Soon he will be big enough to empty out the fridge!

 

[Ragirl]

You are not a failure!! And you need to stop thinking you are- as that will only make you more stressed and compound the problems. Every mother/baby is different and you have to do what you feel is best- as long as you are doing that, you are a great mom!! Another idea- if you are able to pump much at all, is to mix the breastmilk with formula so he is getting a little of both at feedings. I have read (and maybe Margerle knows better) that if a baby gets even a tablespoon of breastmilk a day they benefit. So if you were hoping to give him milk for a certain amount of time, maybe, rather than giving him everything you have pumped in a sitting, give him just a Tbs or 2 and freeze the rest. Then you might have enough to give him a little bit for that entire time you were hoping for (if that makes any sense). But whatever you decide- have confidence in yourself and your decisions- your son will benefit most from that!!