I am joining you guys but me and my partner dont want to split

[Tink.x]

The reason for us splitting is that when my maternity pay finishes we will only be living on 50 pound a week and that has to pay for food shopping, babies milk, food, nappies, clothes etc etc. We can't afford to stay together. We can claim any more money we have checked. Quite upset that me and OH are splitting, we been together for about 2 and a half years and we love each other so much! But my baby comes first! I need to provide for him, am I doing the right thing by leaving?x

 

[reiller]

Em why do you hvae to leave him?? If you Love him you should be together?
IM sorry but can you not get some sort of benefit from the state?

 

[Tink.x]

No because he earns enough money but has to pay off debts so I get none of his wages x

 

[lal]

I'm sorry, but I don't understand. You don't have to break up, if one of you has to move out temporarily then do that, but this doesn't seem like a huge problem to me...maybe I am missing something? It just seems like if you are that in love and happy, there'd be a way to work it out.

 

[Tink.x]

It just if we stay together we won't be able to afford to look after our baby x

 

[Mumof42009]

Being a single mum ain't easy at all and your likely to worse off apart than you are together. I would seriously think hard before you make any decisions.

 

[TattiesMum]

It would make more sense for your OH to file for Bankruptcy if he cannot afford to pay his debts: Primary living costs and supporting your LO come before paying debts so his creditors will either have to accept reduced payments (ie through an IVA) or nothing at all because he has gone bankrupt

 

[billy2mm]

It would make more sense for your OH to file for Bankruptcy if he cannot afford to pay his debts: Primary living costs and supporting your LO come before paying debts so his creditors will either have to accept reduced payments (ie through an IVA) or nothing at all because he has gone bankrupt

exactly wss.

you cant split just coz your oh has debts - he needs to priotitise and put his child and you first while paying off the debts. go to the cab and get them to help you.

 

[andbabymakes3]

Just because you need to live apart for financial reasons doesn't mean you need to split as a couple?? If you are happy together and the financial thing is the only issue, either live apart, or find a part time job to get more money in.

x

 

[andbabymakes3]

It's bloody hard being a single mum and I would advise you try every possible solution before going down this route. Good luck x

 

[Tink.x]

We've spoke about all that you have said, its no use. He don't listen, we just gonna split. His mum said if your moving out there's no point being with her and he is now saying if we lived apart wed drift apart, so I've tried every route. Its just upsetting x

 

[lal]

If he isn't willing to work it out, wherever you have to live, or whatever has to be done, especially considering there is a baby involved...he isn't worth being upset over, sweetheart. "No guy is worth crying over, and the one who is would never make you cry". You'll make it harder on yourself imagining that the situation is what is making you split up, when really it is his apathy...make him admit that this is his choice (tell him that you're willing to work through it whatever it takes), without blaming it on other reasons, and either he will be too or you'll have closure to move on. As hard as it will be, being a single mother has to be easier than being a single mother and not moving on with your life. Or maybe that's just what I tell myself since my FOB is moving on already

 

[Tink.x]

Aww thanks hun. He thinks its possible for three of us to live on 40 a week when we already buy the cheapest stuff and including babies stuff it cost about about 55 a week just on shopping, not including clothes or nappies. He has no idea. We can't get money from anywhere else. He is already well into his overdraft so can't give me any money x

 

[lal]

It sounds like he needs to get his finances in order...I don't know how things work over there, but here we have "credit counselors" who (for free) will help you figure out how to live on a budget and pay what you owe...good luck, I hope everything works out for you and the baby, with or without him!

 

[Tink.x]

Thanks everyone xxxxx

 

[CLH_X3]

I dont see why you have to split over money... there is no way that i would split with my OH just over money, he can be a 50,000 pounds in debt and i would still stick by him and grin and bear it... Stay together you will work it out...
Why cant he go to the bank and sort something out about his debt? reduce payments and pay over a longer periodd...

Me and my OH do our food shopping and he has a little girl that stays over for weeks at a time and we never spend no more then 25 a week on shopping....

do a budget and work it out hun, its money at the end of the day.. you staying together is more important xx

 

[scottishgal89]

Totally agree with the other ladies.
That makes no sense to split because of debts if you both love each other and there's not a problem
You'll be better off together. He needs to put you both first

 

[gemabee]

eeek i've just seen this post!
i think its quite ridiculous that u are splittin... i also think its a bit wrong that u are postin in this section... its actually quite upset me that u are splittin with ur ex nd choosin money over love nd family.
u will get help... i think what u are doin is actually quite irresponsible
in this case... u were in a happy relationship... YOU created a child... now u expect the government to support u... when the majority of the women (even on the single parent forum) only take help they need nd do it begrudgingly... u nd ur partner should be stayin together nd supportin ur choice (ur child).
most of us single parents were forced (through some very bad circumstances) to be single parents... ur makin it a life choice cos u want more money!
gah... this thread has put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day...