i am joining you ladies

[Lexi mummy]

Hi

i posted a few weeks back about how me and dh werent getting along. well she have decided in the past few days we need to have a break so he is moving in with his parents today. its not something i really want but then i kind of do. i dont know im confused. i feel funny about it all. we are hoping if he moves out that maybe we can work on things whilst not being under each others feet and i am hopeful we can sort things out and maybe in a few months he may move back in but all the arguing isnt fair on lacey. she is so aware of everything now and i dont want the shouting and screaming around her.

he has been signed off work for a couple of weeks with depression he admitted he hadnt dealt with what happened to lexi properly and all our other problems we have faced over the last few years have caught up on him. they are going to give him counselling which i do beleive he needs.

so this afternoon he is moving out. its going to be tought i have no family here in norwich and only 2 friends. i will still be seeing him every day though as he will be coming round to see lacey (i wont allow him to take lacey round his parents, firstly i am still breast feedng and secondly i dont like his mum and the house is filthy so i do not want lacey around there). i am lucky where that is concerned i know 100% he will be there for me and lacey especially, he couldnt bare to not see her. he has also asked if he could spend saturday nights here so he can do her bed time bath, settle her to sleep and help during the night which i said is fine. im hoping that wont affect any benefits?

i now need to claim benefits as he cant afford to pay all the bills for me, he has to pay rent to his parents and he is going to pay all our debts each month so i dont have to pay any money towards them, plus he is going to give me £100-£200 a mont for lacey depending on how much money he has left over (he is on quite a low wage to be fair)

all its all such a mess. when we got married i felt like we had the world at our feet, who would of thought 3 years down the line we would of lost a child and our marraige would be falling apart wish life could be a little more fair sometimes

hope i can support you ladies too

 

[billy2mm]

so so sorry hun but fingers crossed this time apart will help you both sort out your problems and will make you stronger.

make an appointment at the job centre and they can tell you what help you are entitled to.

 

[gemabee]

i actually think that u nd ur ex are bein amazingly supportive to eachother nd lo despite the fact that it is no longer workin between the 2 of u
so many people spite each other in these situations nd u are doin what is best for ur lo which is very admirable.
i'd phone the job centre and local council so that u can arrange benefits... him bein there 1 night a week won't affect benefits... but u can always tell job centre / council to ease ur worries.
life doesn't always go the way we want it to... but everything happens for a reason... even if we can't see what that reason is straight away!!
all the best hun xx

 

[hayley x]

Oh hunni I'm so sorry to read this although it is probably for the best I know I dont 'understand' but I'm here if you need me xxx

 

[popples]

He actually sounds like a sensible man who is trying to do the right thing. I feel that there is a lot of hope in your situation. He has admitted he needs counselling, he is supporting you financially and he is caring enough to see his child. I know this will be a difficult time for you but try to stay positive. Look at all the good things you have going for you. You have a beautiful daughter, a roof over your head, two good friends and a man who is trying to sort himself out. You have suffered a terrible loss but life is a balance between bad and good things happening. Support your husband, tell him how much you respect him for one admitting he is depressed and secondly doing something about it. There are so many posts on the site about selfish men who would rather walk away from their families than admit they have a problem. Try to take this break in a positive way as I have a good feeling that you two will make it.

All the very best
X

 

[gemabee]

He actually sounds like a sensible man who is trying to do the right thing. I feel that there is a lot of hope in your situation. He has admitted he needs counselling, he is supporting you financially and he is caring enough to see his child. I know this will be a difficult time for you but try to stay positive. Look at all the good things you have going for you. You have a beautiful daughter, a roof over your head, two good friends and a man who is trying to sort himself out. You have suffered a terrible loss but life is a balance between bad and good things happening. Support your husband, tell him how much you respect him for one admitting he is depressed and secondly doing something about it. There are so many posts on the site about selfish men who would rather walk away from their families than admit they have a problem. Try to take this break in a positive way as I have a good feeling that you two will make it.

All the very best
X

i think u've very elequently put in words what i was tryin to say... i competely agree
xx

 

[Lexi mummy]

thx everyone we are from perfect and are very nasty to each other a lot but i think this time apart may do us the world of good. when you lose a child it affects every part of your relationship and many couples dont survive it.

i just pray that he does want to come home in a few months as i will be heart broken if he decides he wants to stay split up permantly.

i am lucky with lacey, he is a good dad and loves her very much, but again he has already lost a child so lacey is extra special to him

thx again x

 

[Tink.x]

Hey hun, I am in a similiar situation and don't know what to do, we haven't split yet but it seems that we are heading that way. Hope everything works out for you, wishing you all the best xx

 

[SugarKisses]

Oh Kirsty, im really sorry to hear that hun Always here if you want a chat. Shame you cant move up here to be with your mum, you would have me as a visitor quite often

 

[Lexi mummy]

Oh Kirsty, im really sorry to hear that hun Always here if you want a chat. Shame you cant move up here to be with your mum, you would have me as a visitor quite often

ahhh donna i'd love that

if it becomes a permenant split though i will be moving up there for sure xx

 

[SugarKisses]

I obviously hope you and Tim work it out, but that would be great if you did move up here.
I really hope your ok hun, you've had a lot to deal with lately xxx

 

[Lexi mummy]

thx lovely really appreciate it.

while lacey is actually asleep (for once ) im going to have a nose at your diary on here xx

 

[SugarKisses]

Its a long one mind Can you believe im 20 weeks already?

Hope Lacey is being ok for you xxx

 

[Lexi mummy]

Its a long one mind Can you believe im 20 weeks already?

Hope Lacey is being ok for you xxx

lol 89 pages

ive been having a nose since you started it but i cant beleive you are 20 weeks already. thats crazy!