I am officially a miserable cow!

[xlouloux]

Hi everyone,

Me and my DF have been ttc for 23 months with no success, We are waiting till next month to go to the doctors as we were advised that it can take upto 2 years for a couple to conceive, but clearly that isn't going to happen any time soon. I am charting and using opks this cycle but we are not going to bother trying. I just don't see the point, until we find out what's wrong why bother right? As far as my cycles go, they have been a little bit wacky lately but I am certain I ovulate. DF thinks he has a low sperm count and I have asked him numerous times to see a doctor but his pride/ego seems to stand in the way. Well next month he is just going to have to suck it up as am I.

In all honesty I am terrified about finding out what could be wrong, DF is almost 30 and used to drink and smoke alot, those being the reasons why he thinks he has a problem. I myself am only 21 and simply cannot understand why I am not pregnant yet. Everyone in my family has children and seem to pop out babies every year...but not me.

We have tried all sorts of vitamin etc, some good and some bad, we have used sperm friendly lubricant and all different kinds of methods. So now I just have to except that we are LTTC-ers and really think hard about the future. Most of the time I feel like a complete and utter failure and DF does too, we do our best not to let it have an impact on our relationship but even that is becoming tough.

I just wanted to introduce myself as I will probably be visiting this section more often now.

 

[Moorebetter]

has he been to do a SA

 

[xlouloux]

Not yet, he will be having one next month we are going to go and see a doctor together and discuss everything, boy do I have a long list ready.

 

[Melbram]

Hi there

Sorry to hear you are having a rubbish time at the minute - you must be really frustrated not knowing the problem after 23 months - I would be going

OH and I have been ttc for 24 months now. We went to the doctors after 12 months and they started tests immediately. I am ovulating but my monthlies are all over the place - we have been diagnosed as having male factor infertility and should be starting IVF early May.

You are still young and that is the main thing so if you do ever have to go through IVF you will be in the best position x

 

[blue dreams]

Hello,

Well I'm 27 and my partner is 36, we've been TTC for 27 months. If you really wanted to you could go to the doctors now as you are entitled to some basic tests such as a blood test for yourself (I think its to check you are ovulating) and an SA for your partner after one year. It's just further testing that require TTC for two years.

I was tearing my hair this month, so we went to the docs and have been referred to an assisted reproduction unit. I know exactly what you mean about it being really tough and nearly wanting to not try anymore, so I sympathise dearly with you.

Just get yourselves to the doctors when you can and hopefully you'll progress on. That way fingers crossed you'll get to renew your passion for trying as we did with that bit of hope there.

 

[No Doubt]

Don't feel like a failure...you or your husband for that matter. And I agree, you are young, and so is your husband really. A little bit of a pick me up if possible, my hubby has a low sperm count, we think it's attributed to a poor diet and not getting the nutrients he needs, and we have moved to iui, but he recently changed his diet and started taking a multivitamin and it honestly has helped. So even though your dh used to drink and smoke a lot, him cutting that stuff out can definately make a difference. It may take time, but it will make a difference. I do think though that he needs to get in there and have himself looked at...you both do. For some reason men are very guarded about that. Mine hubby was, but when we hit the year mark, I just told him it needed to be done. I will say that after he went with me for an annual check up (we were talking about ttc with the gyno as well) he had a new respect for what we have to go through as women, and really didn't complain much more about what he had to do. So maybe it wouldn't hurt hubby to see all of what you have to do...and are willing to do to get your miracle. My hubby is unfortable giving samples at a location, he'd prefer to be home and they allow it, so maybe you could pose that as an option to hubbs.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I really, really hope he does a SA. What would be best is that he get tested now so those results can be in before you see a doctor. Most times they will want him tested before they do more invasive tests and treatments on you.

There are things that can be done to help a low sperm count if that's the issue. I had a hunch that something was wrong with my husband but was still shocked. The good news is, there is even something they can do for men who are clinically sterile like my husband, so whatever you're facing, stats are on your side.

And please don't worry your husband has anything severe before it happens. Male factor infertility accounts for about 40-50% of infertility but something like my husband has is very rare (1% of men.)

Best of luck. Infertility is tough, but once you start making those steps, you start getting more hope. Odds are you will get this sorted out and will have a baby, one way or another.

 

[Janers]

Hello! My husband was the same way when i was pushing him to get a SA, he just put it off and put it off.. When I finally got my first appointment with the FS (it was a 6 month wait), he scheduled my husbands SA, and that was that. I told him to suck it up, its not like the procedure is torture or anything! It turned into another battle to get him to phone the Dr. to get his results! I could have kicked him!

His results came back a-ok, and he smoked for probably 17 years prior (he quit about 8 months before the SA).

Do not feel like a failure, like Oprah said "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength". We will all be some strong women at the end of this!

Don't be afraid of finding out "whats wrong", if you do discover you have some fertility challenges, at least you know and you can move forward and deal with them. You'll be a Momma one day and imagine how much you'll appreciate your pregnancy and the baby when the time finally comes!

Good luck to you lady!

 

[xlouloux]

Thank you everyone for all your kinds words and support, it has really helped. After a year of ttc I did see a doctor (I am now with a new one), the old one told me that as I will still young there is plenty of time and was advised to try for another year. At that point we were taking things day by day and wasn't in a hurry so I agreed. I realise now that I probably should of been more firm.

It turns out that for once I may be ovulating earlier than usual and we have BD'd so I will be in the tww regardless this cycle.

If they do an SA via the doctors that would be great as it is only round the corner so he can do his business at home. We have agreed we will make the appointment and go together asap, I can't wait any longer! I will be glad to be moving forward and making changes for the better.

Thank you everyone x

 

[PinkLady17]

I know what you mean,,,I keep getting "negatives" while everybody else arounds me keeps popping out babies...

 

[blue dreams]

glad to hear you're feeling much more positive now xlouloux. Let us know how you get on, baby dust all round ladies x