I am scared.

[kellysays2u]

So I got on the same birth control I was on about year before my misscarriage (I was on the nuva ring in between these...) I had on mothers day in may as soon as I got my period again after the misscarriage. I have been fairly consistent with the birth control but now this month I didnt get my period. I did last month AND the month before right on time. Or right about. Last time my boyfriend was excited about the baby but this time I can just tell he wont be. I am pretty sure I am pregnant but I am also kind of in a state of denial. Thinking its just stress its just this its just that. But deep down its like I KNOW I am lying to myself. My boobs hurt I am tired I am getting sick in the morning getting a little better for awhile then getting nauseous again. Lets just say even when i was pregnant and had the m/c my boobs didnt hurt this bad but I had low levels of the pregnancy hormone all along... I just dont know what to do. I am avoiding testing. I have not stopped taking the pill cause what if I am not pregnant... I dont want to get pregnant and he wont wear a condom (and hell I like the baby dance lol). I am 17 turning 18 in november he is turning 19 in january. he just got his apartment... I am getting a car and a job soon and finishing off my final year in HS. He has finally figured out what he wants to do with his life. We are engaged but we are also at a point where the relationship is a little bit rocky... I just dont know what to do and I am REALLY REALLY REALLY scared. I dont want to loose him... but I dont have the money for an abortion to not be able to tell him either... I think he will think I am lying about being on birth control and that is one of the reasons our relationship is a little rocky right now is that we had a VERY minor trust issue. Just please any help and advice PLEASE. I need it.

 

[leeanne]

Honey, the very first thing to do is take a test to ensure you are in fact pregnant.

Best wishes and I hope you get the answer you want.

 

[pennysbored]

Take a test, babe. Find out if you are or not, then take it from there. GO RIGHT NOW AND BUY A TEST, and if you are pregnant, STOP TAKING YOUR BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!
Sorry about the yelling. Its just urgent, if you insist upon taking birth control still.

I really hope to hear from you babe. Send me a private message (they won't let me message you), honestly, I'll listen to you, no judgment, I feel for your situation. You seem like a bright woman. Let me help, even if its just on this level. I've been in a similar place to you.

 

[Sweetie]

Test... will be thinking of you

 

[BeckyBoo]

You need to be sure you're pregnant before you stress yourself out too much, which is possible to hold off your period. Then I suggest talking to your Mum and letting her know, and explain your worries to her.

 

[kellysays2u]

I am infact pregnant. I found out last night...
*pennysbored* i tried to private message you but i guess it wont let me do it until I have been a member and active for a certain period of time.

So now the problem is my boyfriend doesnt think we could give the kid the life it would deserve so he wants me to have an abortion. He says he will stick with me if I decide to keep it... but then he wouldnt be happy and he couldnt do the things in his life that he wants... So now I need to decide.

 

[Becky]

No one can force you to do anything you dont want to!! the decision needs to be yours it good that your OH is being honest with you about how he feels, my OH basically felt the same when he found out i was pregnant and now he cant wait to be a daddy!!

Your also around the same age as me, please dont make a rush decision and dont listen to everyone elses view i was contantly told how big of a mistake i was making but once you make a decision people will come round and support you!!

I hope everything goes well for you!?! have you got a rough idea of how far gone you are!?!

x

 

[kellysays2u]

About 5 to 6 weeks along. The worst part is that I can see where he is coming from... I just I don't know if I can give up the baby. Also theres the fact that I want to decide now because I know if I wait much longer I don't think I could possibly go through with an abortion anyways. If I am going to do it I have to do it before 8 weeks that is what I decided but at the same time I just dont want to ruin all of my OH's dreams that he has and he just wants to give the kid the best which is why he would be willing to not follow his dreams in order to financially support the baby.

 

[xarlenex]

Dreams are only ruined when you have a kid if you let them be. If you choose to have the baby dreams can be put on hold..Good luck making your decision x

 

[Blob]

Good Luck on your decision, its such a tough one to make and nobody can help you make it, has to be you.

I dont mean that to be nasty or cold or whatever... i just mean dont be pushed into something you have to make it yourself.

 

[Sarah-Jane]

About 5 to 6 weeks along. The worst part is that I can see where he is coming from... I just I don't know if I can give up the baby. Also theres the fact that I want to decide now because I know if I wait much longer I don't think I could possibly go through with an abortion anyways. If I am going to do it I have to do it before 8 weeks that is what I decided but at the same time I just dont want to ruin all of my OH's dreams that he has and he just wants to give the kid the best which is why he would be willing to not follow his dreams in order to financially support the baby.

Hey hun, just been reading through your thread and honestly... you sound just like me 4-5 weeks ago when I found out I was expecting.
I'm 17 and my OH is 20 and off to Uni at the end of next month and he thinks it's gonna be hard (and I know it will be) he ain't jumping for joy about the baby and at first it felt like I was being pushed into having an abortion by him as he really didn't want it, and like you I felt like I couldn't give up the baby.
I am now so happy and excited, but also scared which is to be expected I suppose. My OH still isn't over the moon but he's coming to terms with it and standing by me and our LO. Although he will only see us a weekends, it just feels great knowing he'll be there for us.
Talk to your OH properly, explain that you're having serious doubts about the abortion and just basically find a way of wrapping his dreams around your baby.
Yes, it's his baby too... but it's your body, the LO's growing inside you and it's your choice, no-one can make the decision for you (not even your OH).
Please think about this properly and don't do anything you will regret.
Keep us updated.
If you can PM, message me and we'll have a chat xxx

 

[kellysays2u]

I really am begining to think that I am going to have to give it up. You guys all say it is up to me. But I do have to think about my bf to. I cant put him through changing his life just because I want to have the baby can i? Its not right. Its not morally right for me to take his life away...

 

[nightkd]

You've just said "If I want to have the baby" If you do want to have the baby it's up to you. You're the one that will suffer the terrible guilt if you do have an abortion and don't want it.

He's a man, he won't understand it from your point of view, the baby is growing inside of YOU. Ask him how he'd feel if you wanted him to have one of his balls cut off in order to fulfill your dreams.

It's YOUR decision. If he's said he'll support you, then you at least have that positive. What is it he wants to do that he won't be able to do in a couple of years?

You really need to be quite selfish in this situation. If you want the baby he will have to work around you, if you make the decision not to keep it, it has to be because of what YOU want.

 

[nightkd]

P.S You won't be taking his life away, he might have to make the decision to put it on hold, but he can't blame that on you.

P.S.S Sorry if that sounded harsh, but would you rather suffer the guilt of making your bf put his life on hold for a couple of years or getting rid of the baby you wanted.

 

[nightkd]

That guilt can last for an eternity.

*stops multiposting now*

 

[xXDonnaXx]

Hun,think about what you want first. Then think about your boyfriend. It's your body, do you want the baby? Don't not want the baby for your boyfriends sake. Good luck with the decision hun.x

 

[kellysays2u]

I know I want the baby. I want the baby more then anything else. But I want the baby to be born in a stable environment with loving parents (trust me thats not the worry we would both love it) that are able to give the child everything it wants... I know everyone says is all it wants is love. But I am afraid we will get stuck and not be able to pay for food or rent. The baby wont be happy with just its mommy and daddy at that point. At that point he/she will be hungry and cold. I just don't know if its the right thing to do to the baby either.

 

[trishk]

hi i really feel for you. But i want you to know that all a baby needs is plenty of love. Everything else will fall into place.