I am SICK of the ''she should be''s

[divadexie]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am so sick of the ''she should be ....... by now''

So what if she is a year corrected, she was FIFTEEN WEEKS early why the hell should she be doing what a one year old can do GRRRRRRR

How do I get my HV to stop! She tell me Anna should be standing up by now I said she does, when she is in her door bouncer she stands at her toy table. She has only just learned to crawl ffs!

Where can I get some support that extreme preemies are allowed to be a bit behind cause quite frankly I am getting ready to slap my HV.

I want someone who actually understands preemies

 

[Luzelle]

My baby wasn't preemie, but I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. Your little won fought a huge battle for survival, won it, and deserves to be treated with consideration and respect for every goal that she reaches.

 

[freddiesmum]

Honey i dont think any HV or general GPs understand, I have suggested they should all have to take a course because frankly the support (well at least in my experience) is shocking! Just take what she says with a pinch of salt, if YOU are worried about your LOs development then talk to your NICU about it or us It is amazing they are here and every milestone is a blessing at whatever stage she hits it at xxx

 

[divadexie]

She keeps on about what the proffesionals think she needs.

The occupational therapist wanted to give me 'devices' to help teach her to sit up- I told her I do not believe that thinks like Bumbo seat help- because how can supporting her make her use and strengthen the muscles?! That does not make sense, the only way she can strengthen her sitting muscles is by using them!

I want some info to back me up, so I can tell them to FCK off! So I can tell them its no matter if she is a bit behind.

I also want to know how far behind before you are Supposed to get worried.

 

[ermm23a]

I have been taking my little man to therapy to be sure he is where he needs to be (based on his CORRECTED age) and all the therapists told me they don't like the bumbo seats at all, nor do they like the jumperoo things, bc they don't help babies learn to use their muscles and the jumpers are really hard on their neck muscles that are weaker anyway.

I would just take what the HV says, and let it go in one ear and out the other. They obviously know nothing about preemie development.

 

[Marleysgirl]

I also want to know how far behind before you are Supposed to get worried.

When you start to worry, well that's up to you

Andrew has his second birthday next week, so he's:

• 24 months actual
• 21 months corrected
• 18 months developed
• 9-12 months in size

We see it as he's 6m delayed on his actual age, 3m of that is down to his prematurity and the other 3m down to the epilepsy he suffered in his first year.

 

[AP]

You know I've learnt even corrected age dont matter. Had some smart arse stranger insinuating Alex should be walking and not in a stroller

 

[Foogirl]

Whenever she says "she should be" Just say " no she shouldn't, she's only 9 months and preemies are different". You'll only have to repeat that anew times in one visit before she gets the message. The other one I use to use was " her neonatal consultant is happy with her progress". That soon shut her up.

 

[Marleysgirl]

The other one I use to use was " her neonatal consultant is happy with her progress". That soon shut her up.

 

[25weeker]

As long as they are happy at the neonatal clinic then I would ignore the HV.

My HV doesn't really get involved in development at all because she knows she is being followed by the neonatal.

Tell her that she can be weighed but everything else will be dealt with through neonatal as they are the specialist!

 

[divadexie]

We don't have a neonatal clinic

We do see the paediatrician regurlar and she saw the child follow up clinic and they have just said last time they seen her ''keep doing what your doing'' and when we last seen the paeds they said 6months til the next appt.

Where would I find someone who specialises/knows loads about older preemies?

 

[AuntBug]

What is it with the HV visits? Can't you just tell near to stop coming? I'm in the US, and we have earlyintervention available, but it's up to us if we want to use it and for how long.

 

[25weeker]

If the paediatrician is happy tell your hv that as they are the ones that know best you will follow their advice.

We see paediatricians as well but as it's at the simpsons and not sick kids I always call it neonatal. Our apps are 12 month corrected, 18 months then 2 so sounds the same as yours. Although Holly had to go at 15 months because of her weight.

Try not to let her stress you and if it gets too much tell her where to go. Although not so politely HV are there to advise but as parents it's ultimately up to us if we want to take that advise.

 

[lil-star]

Someone said to ms once that they were born on such a date but they were surviving not developing so of course they should go by their corrected age. My baby was only 10 1/2 weeks early but I ignore development books, he has his own rate & if i start comparing is be screwed!

 

[katy1310]

I think people who don't understand preemies seem to think that as soon as they reach their due date, it cancels out the preemie part and they are just like a fullterm newborn. That's the impression I got from our HV. I got sick of her asking me when Sophie was one year actual whether she was pulling herself up yet and saying that she should be. Apart from anything else, she was small for her age and just didn't have the strength! Someone said to me at Christmas (9 months actual, 6 corrected) "she'll be crawling by now, is she? Gggrrrr!

I also got around the HV's stupid comments by telling her that neonatal were happy with her development. I don't have to see her any more now till Sophie's 2 or something, unless I want her weighed.

 

[divadexie]

I might see if I can get her an appointment at Simpsons when OH has his holiday. Just ring them up and say I am not happy with how unexperienced my HV is and of course my hospital have they ever dealt with a baby this prem? They can't cope with preemie births before 32 weeks or something (hence i had to get moved)
Once I talk to someone who actually has a clue what they are talking about, I will know whether to be concerned or not (Im not just now)

 

[katy1310]

I might see if I can get her an appointment at Simpsons when OH has his holiday. Just ring them up and say I am not happy with how unexperienced my HV is and of course my hospital have they ever dealt with a baby this prem? They can't cope with preemie births before 32 weeks or something (hence i had to get moved)
Once I talk to someone who actually has a clue what they are talking about, I will know whether to be concerned or not (Im not just now)

That might be a good idea...especially considering your hospital can't cope with preemies under 32 weeks. The one I was booked into is the same but we ended up staying for the whole time at Simpsons because it's not any further away than the other one, so the only issue was going to be if they needed the cot space then we'd have got moved. All our appointments have been at Simpsons, thank goodness.

Anna sounds like she's doing great - I saw your other post about all the words she's saying

xx