I was at work on tuesday and my cousin called me and asked if I had to work that day, and I did. She told me she was going into labour... she needed a ride to the hospital. I couldnt do it cuz I was at work. But that being said... daddy walked out on her long ago... she was alone. Her mom had to keep her other daughter. At that moment it wasn't about me.... at all. She shouldn't be alone as she brought this baby into the world. I went to the hospital after work and stayed with her until 5am and helped her and watched her baby girl be born. It was amazing. I cried... but it was pure bliss to be in the presence of a brand new baby. We laughed, we cried, I held the baby and was there for the first bath and everything. It was just absolutely amazing as I have never been there for anyone else but my own babies. I did think about Hadlee... but I walked away from that hospital in just pure bliss. She named her Lorelai Isabella 
I never in a million years thought I would be able to do this so soon.... but like I said, at that moment.. it just simply wasn't about me...at all. It was about her and that baby... and her having someone to help her and to be able to lean on and be there for her during a very emotional time. I am so glad I was able to be a part of this and I actually feel like it was very healing for me... in addition to holding that baby last weekend, this took me to a whole new level! Not that I will ever forget my baby, not that the pain will ever go away, but now I know... I can still be wonderfully overjoyed and in love with other peoples babies because those moments in life are ones to be enjoyed... all babies are, even Hadlee..... I was lucky enough to be able to enjoy 4 months with Hadlee before heaven called. Babies should never harbour pain or hurt...and I feel like I know that now. I will always miss and love and yearn for my angel but I know I cant go on associating pain and hurt with my baby... because all babies wether here for 1 day or a whole lifetime... should represent love and happiness...
I just thought I would share this story as it really made me realise I am capable of way more then I ever knew... and maybe some of you are too
I never in a million years thought I would be able to do this so soon.... but like I said, at that moment.. it just simply wasn't about me...at all. It was about her and that baby... and her having someone to help her and to be able to lean on and be there for her during a very emotional time. I am so glad I was able to be a part of this and I actually feel like it was very healing for me... in addition to holding that baby last weekend, this took me to a whole new level! Not that I will ever forget my baby, not that the pain will ever go away, but now I know... I can still be wonderfully overjoyed and in love with other peoples babies because those moments in life are ones to be enjoyed... all babies are, even Hadlee..... I was lucky enough to be able to enjoy 4 months with Hadlee before heaven called. Babies should never harbour pain or hurt...and I feel like I know that now. I will always miss and love and yearn for my angel but I know I cant go on associating pain and hurt with my baby... because all babies wether here for 1 day or a whole lifetime... should represent love and happiness... I just thought I would share this story as it really made me realise I am capable of way more then I ever knew... and maybe some of you are too
