i cant do it alone..

[sweetdreams]

i found out last monday im pregnant. so far ive taken 4 tests and 3 of them were positive..i told my boyfriend and at first he seemed ok, but now hes saying that he cant do it again (he has a son from a previous relationship). hes asked me if im going to keep it, but says he cant. he wants me to get an abortion and the truth is, i cant do this alone. if you would have asked me 2 weeks ago what i thought about abortions i would have said HELL NO!! but now it seems like its the only way i can make things right.. i dont want to ruin my boyfriends life, my life, and my babys life by bringing him/her into the world to a single parent, low income, and without everything he/she deserves..

i dont know what to do.. the thought of an abortion scares the shit out of me, but so does doing this alone.. im in a total rut right now and i dont know how to get out of it. ive somewhat grown attatched to the idea that there is a little human being completely dependent upon me. but at the moment i live with my mom and stepdad and my mom said that her baby days are over and if i decide to keep my baby, ill have to move out.

what are your thoughts? im so scared and confused

xo

 

[LaDY]

Hiya sweetie...i so know what you are going through...it really is awful isn't it...this is the rest of your life and probably one of the biggest decisions you are going to make...i was in the exact same postion...it is so amazing how attached you get to this little baby that is inside you...how you have never met but you know each other so well and how you love this baby in a way you have never knew was possible...i was a wreck when i had to make this decision but i followed my heart hun...i knew from day one that my baby would come into this world with or without anyones support...as i knew if i aborted my LO it will kill me...i was loving my little baby more than i have ever loved anyone or anything before and to destroy that would be heartbreaking...at the same time hun i cried my heart out everynight for the first 6 months cos i really didnt want to do it alone...i was petrified...but at the same time i was worried that i was affecting my unborn child with my emotions so if anything i became stronger and tried my best to lift my spirits high...i really was a emotional wreck...i even went to the doctors i was such a wreck...it really was awful. Hunny you do what you think is right...follow your heart and whatever you decide be strong...My OH came round half way through my pregnancy however my family didn't and i have a beautiful little boy and i love him more than anything in this entire world and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and im so glad i never took the other route...he is amazing and i have a lovely little family now...my OH also adores my little boy and credit to my OH as he saw sense bless him...Sweetie do what you know and think is right and don't let anyone influence your decision...whatever you decide im sure you will do the right thing...Lots of love and hugs xxxxxx

 

[brownhairedmom]

You can do it. It takes a lot of work and its really stressful (and I'm only still dealing with the pregnant part), but in the end, we can all do this. We are strong and we do not need men to make us successful.

It will be hard, it will be emotional and painful and stressful. But it will be the most rewarding thing we do in our entire lives.

 

[~ Vicky ~]

Rae and LaDy have already said what I was going to so there's no point me repeating it. The only thing I want to say is you CAN do it. We all can.

Also I just want to point out the quote in your signature..

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"

You wouldn't put it there if you didn't believe any of it.

Good luck with your decision

 

[leeanne]

You mention about ruining your life, your boyfriend's life, etc.

What about your precious baby's life?

I honestly hope that you make the decision that is right for you, but don't forget about your unborn child's life while thinking of your decision.

Single parenting is hard but most women can and do do it and do it well.

 

[Sam86]

If you aren't sure about getting an abortion, don't do it. You may regret it for the rest of your life.
Maybe your OH will come around to the idea if you say you are keeping your baby. Surely he wouldnt want to loose you AND his baby
I'm sorry you're going through a hard time - i can relate, although for me i M/C before i had my abortion (which was booked for 4 days after i had my M/C).
I'm not sure i would have gone through with the abortion.

You need to have a long hard think, you CAN do it without your partner if he decides he doesn't want to be apart of this.

Good luck xx

 

[Tiff]

I'm pro-choice, however I feel that you have to be 100% sure that it's the decision you want to make, and make it for yourself, not for anyone else. You will be the one that has to live with the decision for the rest of your life, and it's not an easy one.

If you're not sure, and don't feel that you can do it alone, there's always adoption as well. Again, not an easy decision to make either.

It's a tough call. I see by your location that you live in Ontario. There's alot of support and help for single mothers in Ontario, if you google it you might be able to find some assistance programs that could help you, if you do want to keep the baby, but are unsure about how to make it work.

It won't be easy, but you're definitely not the first (probably won't be the last) person who is in this situation. I've had tons of friends who've done it, and they don't regret it. I hope you make the decision that's right for you, and not make something based off of what someone else thinks (ie, your bf).

I will say though: A baby won't ruin your life. It'll complicate and change it, but the only thing capable of ruining your life is you. Don't let it happen. I'm here if you want someone to talk to, or be a sounding board for you to vent to. Just P/M me.