I can't stand his crying anymore :(

[xLaura]

Ok I feel so bad and guilty for saying this but I literally can't stand my baby crying sometimes. It totally drains on me.

He cries a hell of alot, and nothing really stop him. Well standing up holding him makes him stop for about a minute then he starts again. I just don't know what's wrong with him most of the time. Well he's got reflux so I don't know if its that, or he only sleeps for 30 mins at a time and he does seem to get tired easy. But I put him down so often, most time he fights it other times he doesn't. I literally spend all my day putting him to sleep. He doesn't like been left on his own weather it's in his chair, his jumparoo, on the floor he lasts 2 mins then starts crying. I don't know weather it's attention or what.

It makes me feel asif I'm failing because he just cries and cries and now he's screaches soooo loud it actually goes through me. I can't stand it. I hate seeing him crying. I hate not knowing why. But most of all I hate that I hate him crying.

It pains me to admit that I have left him crying and gone and cried myself because I can't deal with it at times. And I have shouted at him to stop crying which makes me feel like such a bad mum.

I never seem to have any time to myself as he sleeps maximum 30 mins and its not enough. I don't know if its cause he's going through a sleep regression and cause I'm so tired that I'm finding it I can't cope or what. But surely 4 months of crying all day isn't normal?
What am I doing wrong?

 

[kelkel]

Is he bf or ff? Im only asking because he may have a cows milk allergy. However what uve said doesnt sound like the symptoms (my ds didnt have the symptoms either but eventually found he did have the alergy).. the first 6mths all docs said is hes a colic baby.
My ds was the exact same way. It was dreadful and i hinestly thought what did i get myself into..
Someine had given me this asvice put heasphones in ur ear and listen to ur music loudly when baby cries.. it helped some

 

[Randianne]

Don't feel bad. If you find yourself at a breaking point, the best thing you can do is walk away to calm down. I don't think my LO was particularly high needs most of the time, but I did walk away from her more than once and just cried myself. It is not a shameful thing to need a breakdown moment. Constant crying is very hard to deal with.

You are not doing anything wrong. Reflux is awful, and it looks like your LO is right around a sleep regression. Do you have anyone who can give you a break? I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time and I hope you get some sleep soon.

 

[randomrach]

you are not failing or doing anything wrong!

Sometimes you just need to leave and take a break for 10 mins and let them cry, it's so heart wrenching to listen to it constantly. I had a colic baby but you could clearly see she was uncomfortable, she used to arch her back and cry in pain, she grew out of it eventually. I think that and cows milk intolerance is something you would probably be able to see, rather than them just crying all of the time they seem like they're in pain.

It seems like he wants to spend all of his time with you so he's possibly still a bit unsure about being by himself. My lo still cries when I leave her alone and she's 10 months, she's also still scared of the Hoover and I have to hoover and hold her at the same time, she clings like a little monkey. I assume she'll grow out of it some time lol. I understand it is hard for you, try to wake up and put yourself in a good mindset. If he needs to be held then hold him as much as possible. My lo loves baths and I can spend an hour just bathing and playing with her toys in there and then dry her off and give her a nice massage. If he enjoys bathtime or any other activity take your time doing it and do it as often as possible.

 

[deafgal]

Sounds like colic. A lot of babies in my family go through this including my own kids. Does it get worst in the evening? If so, it definitely sounds like colic. Hang on, it will soon pass. You may need someone to give you a break.

 

[xLaura]

Thanks ladies

He's ff on sma stay down milk and 2 sachets and gaviscon but tbh he's still really sick so they don't work. Think I'm goin take him back docs again and see if there's anything eles for him. I just feel that when I say he cries all day know one believes me. Well tbh my own mum didn't believe me until me and LO went to her static caravan with her at the weekend and she realised how much he screams.

He did have really bad problems with wind when he was younger he's had infacol gripe water anti colic bottles, and eventually it did ease up. He doesn't seem to have problem with wind now, so I don't think it's colic, unless colic is something eles aswell?

I try to make my OH take him when he comes in from work, but he can't handle him and I always end up with him back even more worked up than when I had him before. It just seems that whenever anyone has him they can't cope and give him me back. Which I understand because he's so hard work but it means I never geta break for long.

Thanks again for your kind words

 

[deafgal]

A lot of people thinks colic is just gas but from my experience, it is just an unable to soothe baby. One day you think something helped, the next day it does nothing for the baby.

Edited: They typically get better by 3 months so maybe you should have him seen

 

[MrsButterfly]

Its really so tough around 4mo and then dealing with reflux as well is not a good mix. I would def go back to the docs and demand to be listened to. One of my friends took a video of their lo when they were particularly upset and showed that to the GP and explained how much of the day they were like that. Sometimes unfortunately it takes quite a lot to be taken seriously.

But there are reflux medications they could try for your lo which might just help a little.

Maybe when you give him over to someone else, physically leave him and go out somewhere so its not quite as easy for them to hand him back. Just getting away from the sound of the crying for half an hour is really relaxing.

x

 

[HanaK]

I'm really sorry I don't have any real advice but.. I got chatting to this lady a few weeks back in the feeding room of a shop. She said her daughter cried solidly for the first four months and that she was at her wits end. Eventually they worked out that she had a dairy allergy (the mum was bf) and once she'd cut it out of her diet she was a changed baby.

My son is on infant gaviscon for reflux. It works really well for him BUT my son is generally a fairly chilled out baby - his reflux is only mild - it shows itself through hiccups, lots of sick after feeding, whining whilst eating and occasional acidic breath. What I'm trying to say is that it possibly only works for my LO as his is so mild - in the same way that when you're pregnant they first prescribe gaviscon before trying stronger antacids.

From my understanding, colic is not necessarily wind.. It is, as a pp said, a baby that can't be soothed, no matter what you try, for a length of time (a few hours or longer) on a regular basis. Colic babies tend to draw their knees up and arch their backs. To me it sounds like a bit of a medical mystery - they don't really know what it is but babies grow out of it.

 

[xLaura]

Ahhh I just assumed it was to do with gas thanks ladies.

When he was first prescribed gaviscon it stopped majority of the sick, then it came back worse so was upped to 2 sachets, that seemed to help for a few days and now the sick is back with a vengeance, so I duno maybe he needs something eles for his reflux.

I've just been on a nice long walk and its really cleared my head .... Oh and LO is still asleep in his pram (longer than 30mins yaaaay) so I've got piece and quiet ATM ..... Well I say a nice walk ... I decided take my mums antisocial dog with us, and she ended up getting out of her harness and running off, so I ended up running with the pram after her lmao. I bet I looked like a right loon

 

[AC1987]

If its going on and on, it could be pain... or over tired?
I know when my LO would have crying jags sometimes I'd set her in her crib just for her and me to chill out a moment haha
It IS stressful listening to your baby cry I know, I myself have cried because my LO is crying cause it just gets right under my skin, but it got ALOT better when she got older, however next up came whining but that was generally right before bedtime.

 

[hanfromman]

Have you tried putting him in a sling/wrap/carrier? I have no experience of a colicky baby or one with reflux so I don't know if it will defo help, but I do know that alot of babies find being in something like that very soothing and calming, and they also often fall asleep in them which is a nice bonus! My LO loves going in his and sometimes it's been the only thing that's stopped him crying.
Hang in there I remember that 4-5 months was a difficult time for my LO but now at 6 months he is a joy and teething pain is the only thing that makes him upset really

 

[xLaura]

Yeah he does like his carrier but I have to walk around for ages in it for him to go sleep. However sometime I just ware him as it keeps him more calm than if I don't.

 

[hanfromman]

Yeah he does like his carrier but I have to walk around for ages in it for him to go sleep. However sometime I just ware him as it keeps him more calm than if I don't.

Yeah maybe just try wearing him loads! I know sometimes it doesn't seem very practical, but if it keeps him happy then you'll be less stressed as well I go on walks with mine in his carrier, and do the hoovering and all sorts! As well as keeping LO happy it means I can actually get things done, so double win! I think I read a study somewhere that said babywearing can majorly cut down on time spent crying Sorry, I probably sound like a bit of a mad hippy lol But I know that carrying my LO has made us both much less stressed on a good few occasions

 

[stephie_corin]

Keep him in the carrier as much as possible. Also, the soothing techniques from happiest baby on the block might help too. Lots of white noise, swaddling and movement.

Good luck and hang in there. I feel so bad for you and LO! It sounds like he is really suffering xx

 

[MindUtopia]

Yeah he does like his carrier but I have to walk around for ages in it for him to go sleep. However sometime I just ware him as it keeps him more calm than if I don't.

Do you have a carrier or a wrap/sling? They're different things. A sling or wrap (like a moby wrap) will work a lot better and be a lot more comfortable than a carrier (like Bjorn - those things are bad for both of your backs!).

My daughter went through a period when she had horrible reflux and was in a lot of pain it seemed and the wrap really helped with that. Also, have you tried a different formula brand? We tried the fancy organic crap (Hipp) and it gave her awful reflux and projectile vomiting. She would howl during and after a feed. Switched formula to cheap ole Cow and Gate and she was a different baby. I've heard SMA is really rough on tummies, so maybe try something different?

 

[xLaura]

It is a carrier style not a wrap. Think I might invest in a wrap then thanks. He was on cow and gate at first and that's when he started with the reflux so we swapped to the sma stay down and it did improve slightly at first, but seems to have gotten alot worse lately, so I don't know weather changing again will help any.

 

[torrie118]

We had to use nutramigen and add a teaspoon of rice cereal to thicken it like the sma. It's a hypoallergenic formula and is more broken down. Plus he is on a stronger medicine. Here they call it prilosec. He is a completely different baby. The first two months were terrible. I called my doctor crying so many times. I also make him a homemade Gripe water, it works better than store brands. We add it to each bottle. He also wears his amber beads. We had to do everything!! Lol . not sure if it's one of those things or a combination of everything but since he is better I'm not changing a thing!! Ohhh I also noticed if the reflux acted up at night while he was sleeping.. No matter what we did during the day he screamed all day. It's like once it gets going it's too late. So I am very careful at night to keep him elevated. He us either in his rock and play which is perfect for reflux babies or he Co sleeps with me propped up on my arm and pillow. Hang in there reflux babies are so hard but once you get through it its amazing and you appreciate every baby smile that much more.

 

[fides]

i'm right there with you. i hate the first 10 1/2 months. the constant crying and fussiness really gets old.

 

[lhancock90]

I agree with everyone else. Its tough and heartbreaking but if you need a few minutes to walk away and calm down, do it, a couple of minutes of crying will not hurt.

It does pass, i promise you.

Huge huge huge

xo