i dont know what is right

[ella170]

ive just turned 17 nd found out just last week tht im pregnant. im so confused with what to do. my bf doesnt want it, he says it will "ruin both our lives". but, i cant go through wiv an abortion cause i believe in life at conception and i kno it might sound weird but i already feel attatched to it? i want to stay on at 6th form and go to university, neither me or my bf have a job as were both still at school, the community i live in will look down on me and there is no way that i could tell my parents.
Even though there is no way that i could kill it, i would never be able to forgive myself for putting my bf through this against his wishes. im torn between what i want and what my bf wants and its killing me inside.

I feel like im being selfish when i tell him i dont want an abortion, but, i dont want this baby either. im too young and i have so many dreams in life. however, i have to ignore what I want and what HE wants. im not thinking about myself or my bf because if i was then i would have an abortion. i want to go through with it because i dont think a baby should have to suffer because its parents are so fukin irresponsible.

how am i supposed to carry on when i cant have an abortion but i cant keep it?

 

[Arcanegirl]

Have moved to teen pregnancy hun, you will find better support in here

 

[jenny873]

u will probably change how u feel once u start having scans etc, u can still go to uni etc, i suppose u could have baby adopted but do u really want to think that something that is a part of u being braught up by somebody else and possiblylooking for u when its older when u could possibly have other kids. u will be suprised how ur parents react they wont be as bad as u think and ur boyfriend might not want u to have the baby because hes not planning on sticking around or it doesnt suit him, if u feel attatched already u obviously want it but are being influenced by others
follow ur heart and do what u want to do, hope ur ok good luck

 

[Linzi]

The decision is yours completely. It's your body. It might be a difficult conversation to have but if you decide to keep your baby you might have to have a discussion with your boyfriend to say 'Im doing this with or without your help' sort of thing.

And don't think about what others might think of you, that doesn't matter at all.

And also as Jenny said, you can still go to university and acheive everything you want.

Ultimately the choice is up to you and I hope you're happy with whatever decision you make

xxx

 

[Serene123]

I kept my baby because I couldn't have an abortion too.
Now I love her more than anything in the world.
I'm going to do all the stuff I wanted to do, it's just on hold for a few years.
Your life only stops when you have a baby if you let it.
You can do SO MUCH when you have a baby.
Don't let anyone tell you different.

 

[TashaAndBump]

Have you considered adoption?

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, hun.

Don't rule anything out completely. If your gut feelings tell you that you 100% couldn't live with yourself if you had an abortion don't torture yourself with the thought of doing it, though. if your boyfriend didn't want this he should have thought more carefully about whether he wanted to have sex with you in the first place.

Don't assume you wouldnt be able to cope with a baby - hundreds of us do it all the time. But if you're sure that you can't, and you know you can't have an abortion either, the next logical step seems to be to look into adoption.

Unfortunately you are in this situation so you will have to take one of these options... however unapealing they seem... but your options may be broader than you think. I reccomend talking to someone about it, like a school councelor or your GP or local family planning clinic - in order to help you go through what your options are more clearly.

Wishing you all the best, hun Keep us updated?

 

[leeanne]

It must be a tough time for you right now.

We certainly can't tell you what is right or wrong. But do follow your heart! Don't worry about what other's are feeling or will feel, but trust your own feelings!

 

[anita665]

Your BF was 50% in the making of the baby and I could understand the feeling of guilt if you'd got pregnant on purpose and he didn't want it but it doesn't sound like thats the case at all and he could have done as much to prevent it as you. The thing is it's easy for him to say have an abortion because he isn't the one who has to do it. For him it's the easy way out as he'll have no feeling for it & doesn't have to go though the procedure but for you there is no easy way. Don't feel guilty about what ever choice you make and don't be pushed into it.

Have you thought of adoption as a possibility if you really don't want it? As Toria said though you'll probably find your feelings about keeping your baby change as you start having scans, seeing your belly grow and feel it moving.

 

[ella170]

thanks everyone for all the advice. adoptions easy to say but really who could carry a baby and go through all that stress nd emotions for 9 months just to give their baby away? i wud be too attatchd lol i love it already so i dnt think thts somethin i cud ever do. the longer i have it the more im gonna care for it nd thts y i have to decide quick but this reli has got to be the biggest dilemma im ever gonna face in my life. what if i dont pick the right decision?? xx

 

[Serene123]

Aslong as you do it for the right reasons it'll never be the wrong decision.

 

[coccyx]

well said Toriaaaa. Your life , hopes and dreams don't need to change just because you have a baby.you can still achieve them but will take change and adjustment .

 

[nikky0907]

I was always for abortion.I was selfish and spoiled,I live in a nice town,where teens don't get pregnant,I go to college,and fun was always essential in my life.
And then I got pregnant.
Everything changed,my whole outlook on life...I'm having my baby,I'm gonna finish college and I'll be a single mom...Even though my parents want nothing to do with me anymore...But I know I made the right choice for me and the baby and I've already grown very attached to it.
Your life is not ending,another one is beginning...you are young and you can do anything,you have your whole life ahead of you...

Make the right choice for you...

 

[mumof5girls(l]

Aww ella
You will know what right for you.
I know this because i was preg with my first at 17.
You can still have you'r dream hun and i bet you are going to be
the best mum and you will love your little bundle of joy.
If you want to chat i give you my msn.

Take care hun and rembmer only you know what is best hun.

 

[leeanne]

I was always for abortion.I was selfish and spoiled,I live in a nice town,where teens don't get pregnant,I go to college,and fun was always essential in my life.
And then I got pregnant.
Everything changed,my whole outlook on life...I'm having my baby,I'm gonna finish college and I'll be a single mom...Even though my parents want nothing to do with me anymore...But I know I made the right choice for me and the baby and I've already grown very attached to it.
Your life is not ending,another one is beginning...you are young and you can do anything,you have your whole life ahead of you...

Make the right choice for you...

Very nice post!

 

[Abbys_Mummy]

Ok hun so having a baby will CHANGE both of your lives forever but it wont ruin your lives i know you are only young i was only 17 when i feel pregnant my partner left me ( THANK GOD) but the point is i couldn`t have aborted my pregnancy but its a sole decision

 

[x-amy-x]

ella, don't do anything you don't want to do. I would never have given my baby up either. Anything is possible.

Hope you get the help and support you need

xxxx

 

[vicky9207]

im only 15 n had a baby boy 3weeks ago. my bf supported me though my pregnancy. i didnt know wat to do either i was 2 far on 4 an abortion n i dont think i could of got 1! im so glad i didnt. im so happy with my baby boy n my parents are supporting me.

you can still go 2 skool. im currenty lukin after my baby boy n studying 4 my gsces.

gud luk on whatever you desion is.

if ya ever wana talk just pm me.

 

[kim.x]

hey, this must be one of the hardest things you have to decide.

Only you can make the choice to have it or not..don't feel selfish as it is you body.

if your bf loves you he will stick by your side and go through everything with you.

i hope you can make the best decision for YOU and you only.

best of luck

 

[Sarah88]

Hun, I think you are already leaning towards keeping it. My pregnancy was not planned, and I was always proabortion before I fell pregnant, I was so very selfish back then. But now that it's happened I am starting to look into the future towards all the wonderful things I can do for and with my baby. It's the most wonderful feeling I have ever experienced knowing that i get to raise, support and mould my baby into a wonderful human. I was also attached to the bean the minute I got my BFP, so I could not really think too much about termination.
My point of view was also that we both knew the risks of unprotected sex, and it is not mym babies fault that we weren't responsible. But now thatit's happened it's time for us to take responsibility for our actions and grow up a bit. Wheather or not your partner is with you while you make your decision and if you decide to keep it, then I think you will make a wonderful mother.
Life doesn't end when you have a child, it just gets filled with more love.
Good luck on your journey towards a decision. This forum is great and we will all be with you no matter what you decide.

 

[cheryl]

Aww hun go with your heart, I was 15 when I had my first, the dad left me. But I went on to finish at school and got 5 GCSE's I have 2 children now and I am pregnant with my 3rd.
My heart said keep the baby, she is now 7 years old and I love her more than anything. I even started going to college, Personal resons I had to stop going.
Luv Cheryl xxx