i dont know what to do anymore

[babyloves]

Hello ladies! So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 9 years and we have 2 kids together. I am currently a stay at home mom as my son is only 10 months old And my bf works and pays the bills. Lately I have been feeling like I am not good enough because it doesn't matter what I do he finds a reason to complain about it or just having a regular convo he talks to me like I am stupid. He never shows me affection I always have to take the first step for everything and it makes me not want to be sexual or anything with him. Every time I try to talk to him and tell him how I feel he just calls me a crybaby and just starts an argument. He never has anything nice to say to me or about me....anyone else go through something like this?

 

[babyloves]

Also he was not always like this!

 

[smileyfaces]

Hugs He sounds awful He should have much more respect for you after nine years!

 

[CarlyP]

It sounds like something is bothering him, especially if he's not always like this, have you asked him if everything is ok and how he is feeling? My DH often has down time, he usually just needs a couple of days to get out of it, I call it his 'time of the month' but he never disrespects me or calls me names etc, he kind of gets on with it himself but knows I am there if he wants to talk.

 

[babyloves]

Well its not like there is something wrong with him he acts perfectly fine except the fact that he's not very nice to me...he has a good job now and I stay at home to take care of kids and I feel like he thinks he's better than me or something and he bitches and never gives me credit for anything I do...and it's always a one way street with him its like what he says goes cuz if I have anything to say about it he always disagrees with me. I am very frustrated with him not just with this but I've been with him for 9 years and he still hasn't proposed to me and he is the only person and relationship I've ever been in and I had his babies...he just don't make me feel good. He gets mad because I don't do more in the bedroom too but its hard wheni never get any affection or acknowledgment through the day

 

[HelenJane]

Have you told him that? Have you spoken to him about his treatment towards you?

 

[babyloves]

Yes I try to but he always makes excuses and blames his reason on me. Or just says I'm being a cry baby.

 

[Gaige]

Yes I try to but he always makes excuses and blames his reason on me. Or just says I'm being a cry baby.

Hm, see that rings some quiet alarm bells with me.
The fact that he seems so dismissive of your feelings coupled with the fact that he just doesn't seem interested in listening to you or getting some good communication going between you both is definitely not a good thing.

I honestly don't know what to suggest, I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

[babyloves]

He a really good person and an amazing father and once in awhile he can be charming but idk what it is with me that he feels the need to act the way he does...maybe he does not do it on purpose or does not realize it all the time but I do know that he loves me. He's so uptight with me alot...I just wanna be treated with respect and feel appreciated...I love my kids more then life but being a stay at home mom is not my cup of tea but I do it because I love them ( we don't trust daycares) so I give up a lot and put my life on hold so that we all can have a better life. He does not realize that if we were to break up today that I wouldnt have nothing no money or a pot to piss in. So I have sacrificed a lot as well as him.

 

[HelenJane]

Keep trying to talk to him. He should listen. He should tell you what his problem is. If he genuinely doesn't know then suggest he speaks to a doctor about his behaviour towards you, they might refer you to couples counselling or something? Just a thought because things will only get worse, right?
When did it all start? Did anything happen around the time which maybe he did not deal with properly and hes holding it all in taking things out on you? There must be an explanation.

 

[babyloves]

Update ladies! So I demanded that we talk when he got home from work and surprisingly it went real well. He was so understanding and I got to see things from his point of view too. He also apologied for acting and saying negative things to me. He stressed that he never meant to hurt me. As far as our problems in the bedroom he was so understanding about my endometriosis issues and said " we are in this together" that made me feel so loved!