I don't know what to think...

[Sophie1205]

So it's only recently FOB and I have started to get on again and he's started seeing Leo again. I've just been on the phone to him and some stuff that he has said has left me a bit... hmmm. He's recently been made redundant and he told me that he is getting £3,000 in redundancy pay. So obviously he has stopped paying CSA and he has just told me he's not giving me any of the redundancy pay to help for Leo. I won't get a penny off him now until he gets a new job....and with the way the economy is and his lack of qualifications, god knows how long that is going to be! He has Leo every other weekend for 2 nights and he said he will "sort him out" when he has him (money wise). He doesn't have to pay for anything when he has him though because FOB lives with his mum and she buys all the food etc... I'm not pushing it any further because I really don't want to argue with him.

The second thing being, Leo is starting pre-school on monday. I have asked FOB if he wants to come with us to the visit on Friday or come with me to drop Leo off for his first day on Monday. He said no to both of these. Now, FOB and I get on really well now so it's not like he's saying no because it would be awkward or anything. I just don't get why you wouldn't want to see your son off to school on his first day

I know this is a really pointless thread, but I just needed to get that out...

 

[dustbunny]

It could be because he would actively have to do something? As he has been made redundant and no longer supports the child financially, even when he does have him every other weekend, it is on his terms. As in, he gets all the nice fluffy side. Maybe having to go to school would encroach on what he sees as his time, meaning he would have to put in more time himself.
Or he could see it as a female role, I don't know whether your FOB is a bit sexist like that. Typically it is seen as the mothers role to pick up their children from school etc.

At the end of the day it is his loss and is just another annoying thing for you. And don't worry, I have enough threads about things just so they are out there and not in my head.

 

[Sophie1205]

Yeah I think it's a case of he can't be bothered. He said he is putting all of his time into looking for a job. Seriously though, 15 minutes of his time to see his son off to school on his first day? Not much to ask for is it? Like you said though, it is his loss. I couldn't imagine missing something like that! xxx

 

[Laura2919]

Men don't tend to think like we do. Don't rise to the bait. Sounds to me like he is testing the water again.

 

[Sophie1205]

Yeah I think he's just seeing how far he can push me. But I'm not going to argue with him. I made a promise to myself that I will not cause any arguments no matter what. I want to keep things as friendly as possible. As for the money situation, whatever. I'd rather try my hardest to support Leo by myself. I'm starting uni in September so I can eventually get a good job and give Leo the best I can..alone! But as soon as FOB gets a new job I will make sure Leo gets what he deserves. And I'm not gonna argue about the school situation because as long as I am there for his first day, that's all that matters xx

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah your the better person for avoiding an argument. I'm just about to make a thread about FOB he is another one picking a fight and not winning.

 

[Sophie1205]

I think that's what he expects of me to be honest. I think he's waiting for me to trip up and kick off about something. I've told him I am not that person anymore. I do NOT want to argue. So I am doing everything I possibly can to prove to him I don't have the time/energy/passion to argue with him. I'll have a nosey at your thread when you make it xx