I don't know where I belong

[sequeena]

Everything is a lot of 'what ifs' at the minute but I feel that I don't belong in the tri forums at the minute. They're full of happy women preparing for their baby and I'm sat here trying to digest the news that my baby may die.

My pregnancy has been 'ok'. It's not been without it's ups and downs but for the most part it was going smoothly.

Just short of 15 weeks I had a massive bleed and cramps. We never found out why. I had an emergency scan at 15+1 and baby was just fine but the sonographer was worried about the amount of amniotic fluid, she didn't think there was enough. My local hospital is only small, you don't get admitted there, they send you to other hospitals for treatment so when she said not to worry about it, they didn't routinely scan women at 15 weeks so didn't really know how much fluid there was meant to be I mostly believed her.

https://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/180638_1880001004927_1388356992_2140682_1438589_n.jpg

I went back yesterday to have a scan at 17+4. Again baby had grown and is right on target but my fluid is still low. My deepest pool is only 2-3cm when it should be around 5cm and upwards.

https://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/189314_1910731253164_1388356992_2196016_3822392_n.jpg

She looked for all the vital organs and was doing well but could only find the one kidney. She tried to reassure me, it could just be baby's position but she didn't look convinced by her own explanation

I spoke to a consultant who is referring me to the Fetal Medicine Department at Heath Hospital in Cardiff on March 7th. They couldn't get hold of Cardiff at first and were seriously considering sending me to Bristol but got hold of Cardiff in the end.

I've been given a few reasons for what's going on.

- If it's just the fluid levels that are the problem then I will have a close eye kept on me then have amniotic injections at 34 weeks onwards.

- As the sonographer said baby could have been in the wrong position to see the other kidney and it could be fine.

- Baby may only have one kidney which is also fine.

- There may be a deformity with the other kidney. What type of deformity I've not got a clue.

- I may go into preterm labour or even have a still birth.

I don't know what to do with myself. I can't relax. You never ever think this is going to happen. I've lost in the past but they were all early losses. Once you get to second tri you think you're home free and it just doesn't work like that. I did nothing wrong, I haven't drank, smoke or eaten anything I shouldn't have.

I'm trying my hardest to be strong, Monday could come and everything could be absolutely fine, but I don't think it will be.

 

[Weeplin]

I'm sorry your going through this hon, I hope everything works out

 

[sequeena]

I'm sorry your going through this hon, I hope everything works out

Thanks, I really hope so too I just remind myself that baby is still growing on target, that can only be a good thing.

 

[Jaybear5]

I really hope all will turn out just fine...It must be such a worrying time for you...Big hugs, stay strong xx

 

[CamoQueen]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, pregnancy complications suck.

 

[Susanah]

A growing baby is a really encouraging sign.
Especially one that is growing on target for age.
One Kidney is quite common and most babies do very well.
Glad you have eventually been referred and hope it goes well monday.
Try to keep your belief in the pregnancy. Its really hard but you have to otherwise you'll lost the plot completely. Am sorry your having such a hard time. its really difficult when you dont know whats happening.

 

[secretbaby]

The fact there is some water is REALLY good news - I lost all my waters in my second pregnancy at 20.6 weeks. While there is water the baby can practice breathing and develope there lungs. I found that the fetal medicine consultants were fanatastic - and knew alot about what could cause this (in my case it was blatently PPROM - but some kidney conditions can cause low or lack of fluid - fetal med will be able to check this).

If you want to PM me about my experience I am more than willing to share my experience. BUT I have found with PPROM (you may not have that maybe something else - I am just basing this on my exp) that things aren't clear cut and depends on a multitude of factors and 2 people can have pprom at the same gestation with very different outcomes.

Please don't loose hope - I know its going to be a rollercoster but take it one day at a time.

 

[sequeena]

Thank you everyone, it means a lot

 

[lynz85]

i hope it all works out ok for you and baby x

 

[doddy0402]

I really hope all is fine with little one! thinking of you.x

 

[sequeena]

Thank you I've just been reading some reassuring stories about babies with one kidney. I really truly hope that is the only problem.

 

[Emmea12uk]

Hugs sequeena - there is still way more chance everything will be fine than not.

 

[sequeena]

Hugs sequeena - there is still way more chance everything will be fine than not.

I hope so Emmea, I can deal with anything except having to terminate or stillbirth

 

[mamabearjen]

I hope everything goes good.. I am new here but I am in the wait & see situation as well. Hang in there...you never know until you KNOW. take one thing at a time.

 

[sequeena]

I hope everything goes good.. I am new here but I am in the wait & see situation as well. Hang in there...you never know until you KNOW. take one thing at a time.

Thank you I hope you're doing ok

 

[kelzyboo]

hope everything goes well for you and baby xx

 

[midori1999]

I am so sorry you are going through this.

My son (now 10) only has one kidney although he did start out with two. They found his kidney was enlarged with cysts on it at my 20 week scan with him and explained that during pregnancy the kidney would become increasingly enlarged and then after the birth would gradually shrivel up and 'disappear', but it wouldn't ever work. One kidney can do 90% of the work of two, so it's not really a problem. On the plus side, my son loves telling everyone he only has one kidney!

Babies can get a bit squashed without much fluid and it can mean things like Talipes, (not sure if they have explained this to you) but they can survive perfectly well inside you without it and as long as there is enough fluid for lung development (which it seems there is in your case) then baby should be fine.

Things didn't end well with my twins, due to infection and them being born far too early, but both were perfectly fine whilst inside and grew at the same rate. If it helps, here are a couple of my scan pictures so you can see how much fluid your baby does have compared to Megan, the twin with no fluid at all.

Megan: (you can see she is all curled up as she's squashed and you can hardly see her. Her face is at the top right of the picture)

https://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e201/midori1999/4d4f6f97.jpg

Imogen: (normal fluid)

https://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e201/midori1999/e08d7305.jpg

 

[sequeena]

Oh Midori I am so sorry that is so awful Thank you for letting me see the scan pics, now I understand why baby is always more curled up and doesn't really fancy moving about (he/she was kicking about on Monday though which is good). It's obvious he/she is breathing fine and growing normal but I just don't understand why there isn't more fluid. It's so confusing, I wish I could do more

I started spotting last night, only pink blood but it makes me wonder what else is going to happen. I suppose I'm very lucky I had my bleed at 15 weeks or they wouldn't have discovered this until my 20 week scan.

 

[lottie77]

My heart goes out to you and I hope everything is good and healthy with your precious baby

 

[Starry Night]

Thinking of you. Hope you get good news and the spotting settles down right away.