prettybirdy27
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Maybe this is normal, maybe this is weird. I just want to know what other people think.
For a year or so now, I've hardcore wanted a baby. I think about it, plan for it, talk about it, etc etc. DH and I started trying in Oct 2014, and for the first couple months I was really excited to try, dutifully did my temping, tracked cm, BDd every other day, etc etc.
For some reason, I don't want to do any of that anymore. I feel like I don't even want to try.
I've experienced days where I think "Oh my gosh, this is crazy, I don't think we can have a baby" etc etc, but it usually goes away in a day or so and I get super excited again. However, this time it isn't going away. It started when I got my last period, and I'm on CD 12 now and I still feel like I don't want to do this anymore.
I kept up temping just because it's convenient, but I'm not taking the diligence to do it right anymore, and I miss days (my chart is pretty messed up.) I checked cm once this month and I had to sit there and give myself a pep talk just to do it. I took two opks just to see, but the thought of sitting there in the bathroom waiting for 5 minutes just seemed absolutely dreadful, after I've done that twice a day during my fertile period for four months now, and after three cycles of sitting in the bathroom staring at hpt for three minutes and always getting negatives.
I've also felt a lot of guilt for the last month about trying, and enjoying the process, etc etc, because a close friend of mine came to me and told me that after trying unsuccessfully, she found out she's infertile. I feel like I shouldn't even try because I know she can't. I dropped my TTC journal after that. I know it wasn't her intention, but it certainly sucked all the joy and excitement out of me.
Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through a period like this? I put this in NTNP because I guess that's what we're doing now instead of actively TTC.
For a year or so now, I've hardcore wanted a baby. I think about it, plan for it, talk about it, etc etc. DH and I started trying in Oct 2014, and for the first couple months I was really excited to try, dutifully did my temping, tracked cm, BDd every other day, etc etc.
For some reason, I don't want to do any of that anymore. I feel like I don't even want to try.
I've experienced days where I think "Oh my gosh, this is crazy, I don't think we can have a baby" etc etc, but it usually goes away in a day or so and I get super excited again. However, this time it isn't going away. It started when I got my last period, and I'm on CD 12 now and I still feel like I don't want to do this anymore.
I kept up temping just because it's convenient, but I'm not taking the diligence to do it right anymore, and I miss days (my chart is pretty messed up.) I checked cm once this month and I had to sit there and give myself a pep talk just to do it. I took two opks just to see, but the thought of sitting there in the bathroom waiting for 5 minutes just seemed absolutely dreadful, after I've done that twice a day during my fertile period for four months now, and after three cycles of sitting in the bathroom staring at hpt for three minutes and always getting negatives.
I've also felt a lot of guilt for the last month about trying, and enjoying the process, etc etc, because a close friend of mine came to me and told me that after trying unsuccessfully, she found out she's infertile. I feel like I shouldn't even try because I know she can't. I dropped my TTC journal after that. I know it wasn't her intention, but it certainly sucked all the joy and excitement out of me.
Is this normal? Has anyone else gone through a period like this? I put this in NTNP because I guess that's what we're doing now instead of actively TTC.
