I feel an absolutely useless mother

[Reid]

My son has not long been diagnosed with being on the autistic spectrum and I still have a lot to learn about autism. The hardest thing for me right now is how to deal with his meltdowns. He had a pretty bad one tonight I don't even know what set it off but he got really upset as well as angry. When he's really angry he can headbutt or bite down on his housecoat never himself or anyone I relise this is sensory but he got so upset the tears were streaming down his face he let me give him a brief hug but it didn't help and I ended up standing there like a total idiot not being able to comfort my own little boy it kills me
After he's had time he will let me then try and take his mind off it but it can take a while.
I've been in touch with various sources in my area about autism courses which I'll be doing next year it just seems so long away
Xx

 

[PresqueVu]

You are in no way useless! Though I can very much relate to that feeling. For my boy, touching him when he's in that state can be the very worst thing you can do - if he's in danger, I might need to restrain him. That's hard on both of us.

If he's not, and not hurting or damaging anything, I just sit by him quietly until he has calmed down. If it's a time-critical thing (i.e need to get him out of school/classroom before it closes) I'll just repeat simple sentences about what needs to happen next and then do a count down before I have to pick him up. I think we are edging towards that working more times that it does not...it's slow progress.

I find a lot of times when I pick mine up from school he's in his own world. It might ten minutes or more of walking before he's actually capable of answering questions about his day and/or acknowledging my presence.

There's a cheap (£29) Autism course on Groupon at the moment if that is any good: Online Autism course

How old is your boy?

 

[Reid]

Thank you for your reply. my son's 4 1/2.
I'm meeting with his educational psychologist this week so I'm going to ask her to about courses I'll have a look at the groupn 1 aswell thanx for that xx

 

[Eve]

Sometimes there isn't anything you can do in the moment other than make sure they are safe. My son is 13 and he has meltdowns regularly and most times there isn't much I can do. We have learned his triggers and what we can do to help in daily struggles for him though but it takes time. You'll get there and become more confident in your parenting skills hun. Sounds like you're doing a fab job to me

 

[alibaba24]

Please dont feel bad. And while I think any type of course / learning on Autism is valuable. The saying goes if you have met one person with Autism you have met one person with Autism. What works for others may not work for you. Trial and error and getting to know what makes your son tick and not will help. That won't happen overnight. As parents we all feel like we are getting it wrong at times. We love our kids and we do our best. dont beat yourself up x