I feel like a bad mother

[ame71a]

hello,
I just wanted to ask some advice from some of you ladies out there. I'm starting to feel like such a bad mother these days - i just don't know what to do with my baby!

My baby boy was 11 weeks yesterday (born 3 weeks early) and he has been very colicy since birth, we seem to have got that a little better, cow & gate comfort really helps. My baby boy just seems to be miserable all the time, he doesn't enjoy cuddles, cries and screams a lot, seems bored but as yet doesn't have the skills do anything. I have a swing which seems to calm him although as yet shows very little interest in the mobile. He just does not seem to be interested in anything. It just makes me so sad that it seems he doesn't even really love mummy or daddy, there's hardly any response from him towards us, in fact he seems to be happier when other people are around him.

I try desperately to get his attention and play with him but nothing seems to help - I am now starting to think could there be something wrong with him mentally?? He is growing physically very well, he has started to smile on those rare occasions (normally for strangers!) but in general he appears totally miserable. I know his poor little tummy does stress him out and give him pain but now I think I can tell the difference between plain grumpy and colic.

Whats really worrying me is that it is starting to make me resent him slightly, of course I love him dearly and the moments he rewards us with a smile makes it all worth while but in the middle of the night for his feed just doesn't help when he is screaming and kicking, I am just so tired of him it feels. We just can' seem to get his sleeping pattern right either, he has his feed at about 8pm but only gets to sleep at gone 10pm so he is ready for another feed before midnight but the poor thing is often so tired he is fast asleep so I won't wake him only to be woken at 2.30am after going to bed at 1!

I just don't know what to do for the best with him.

 

[vicky]

Big Hugs hun, have you spoken to your Dr about this or you HV they might be able to give you something for his colic.

Regarding his night feeds he is only 3 weeks old it will take time to get in a routine with him hun.

If your stressing about him your little boy will pick up on that so try and relax with him a little when your swinging him, i know its hard when he is kicking and screaming. Have you tried making him a bath when his colic is bad that might help.

 

[ame71a]

baths don't really seem to help as he is always on the brink of crying if not crying. He is 11 weeks old but was born 3 weeks early so i know people talk about adjusted age in terms of development so in that sense he is 8 weeks old. It's just very tiring after 9 months of pregnancy and his 11 weeks since birth. We have tried gripe water and infacol does seem to help a little, so does his bunny wheat pillow. Now I feel it's not always his colic which is upsetting him, he just seems unhappy.

 

[mylittlebubs]

Maybe ask for some advice from the doctor.?
My baby is 3 months old in a few days and he doesn't get in a proper routine yet, still wakes up 3-4 times a night for feeding. So i'm so tired as well
He used to cry and scream all the time too and i didn't know what to do, only tried to do everything i could think of an nothing worked and then it went back in circle.
He didn't sleep much, spend most of time crying, he was gassy and grumpy all the time.
it took me at least an hour to calm him down and put him to sleep, just to wake up again in 20 minutes then we cam him down again. it used to take me 3-4 attempts every day just to put him to sleep for 1-2 hours.
i used to cry and was very depressed, but he got much better now.

Big hug for you and hope your baby will get better soon. Some babies are different from average and there's nothing wrong with them.
Your baby might be kind of socialize person? It takes a bit of time to learn this new world.

Good luck hun

 

[kimbles]

try Colief for his colic, its the only thing that settled my daughter when she had it, also what bottles do you use if bottlefeeding? as some bottles make colic worse

Big hugs you are not a bad mum, just exhausted x x

 

[Doodles]

I haven't been on this forum for quite a while, but I know exactly how you feel. My son is 12 weeks old and was 2 weeks early, and sometimes I feel like giving up.
Have you tried feeding with Dr Browns bottles? We gave Rhys Infacol before the feed and gripe water after and this seemed to control his colic discomfort. I swear this nasty tumy pain was making him an unhappy baby.

Other things that have helped are singing and dancing with him, long walks and car journeys, although sometimes I was so tired I looked a complete wreck and couldn't face leaving the house I wrapped Rhys up warm and put him in the buggy, put on a hat to cover my bad hair, gloves to hide my nails which havent seen polish for months and got walking.

I still feel like sometimes we are firefighting - always trying to pacify him, and I've made some mistakes too. This afternoon I gave him some calpol cos he has a temperature, but I didnt give it to him slowly enough and the poor little guy choked on it, screamed, cried and screamed some more and ended up bringing back up the calpol and his last milk feed

Rhys has slept through the night for the last 2 nights and hopefully he will carry on like this.

Keep going hun, I'm sure your baby loves you and if he is physically growing then you definately aren't a bad mum - it just our babies dont come with a handbook

 

[ryder]

Try not to feel too bad hun, it wont last forever and he loves you.

 

[1st_baby]

Some babies are just not intrested in what we do with them playing singing and what not but rest assured they are ambsorbing everything the hear and see ..having a tummy ache can take a toll on his character ..im sure once he gets over the colic he will be fine ..

try holding him with his tummy on your forearm this helps for colic when the other stuff dosent also pushing his knees up to his tummy once in a while is great ..

Trust me your lil guy loves you even if he dosent show it , as for being different with strangers thats normal there new things for him to explore ..