I feel like my heart could break

[happigail]

I am linking to a thread I made in another area as its relevant to both really and I am desperate for advice. Please take a look, thanks guys.

https://www.babyandbump.com/special-needs/427266-feel-like-my-heart-could-break.html#post7112754

 

[Cariad_bach]

Can anyone relate to this and just make me feel better and in turn make my son feel better?

He is 10 years old and has severe fetal alcohol syndrome (via his biological Mother) which in turn has lead to developmental delay, he's around 5 or 6 in educational levels. So the story goes that in all these school years he has been invited to a total of 3 parties. Right now a girl in his class has invited EVERYONE in the class to her party except for my son, she has also invited the whole rest of the other year six class including my sons same age cousin. She told my son that she was inviting him and then when giving out invites to everyone else she didn't give him one and told him she had lied and he couldn't come. He is so gutted, I just don't know how to make this better and I am MAD. I am sooooo mad that I want to confront the Mother and just directly ask her: "so is it because I don't stand in the playground gossiping about other mothers with you or because you are prejudiced to people with learning disabilities that my son is not invited to your daughters party?". Should I or would I be making things worse for my son?

UGHHHHHHHHHH why does life have to be so hard for kids? Why cant we make everything better? I'm his Mum, I should be able to make everything ok, but I cant and its driving me mad

Please ANY advice would be SO appreciated.

Aww your poor little boy, he must feel so left out, poor sweetheart

I think Shame on the girls parents .. do they know? maybe there was a invite for him that the girls spitefully put in the bin, surly another mum wouldn't have allowed that to happen

Id ask her directly TBH, i say somthing like 'im sorry i think my lads lost his invite, can you give me your number and the details so i can check if hes free to come'
That way hopefully she'll be to shame filled to say he wasn't invited and your son gets to go.

Part of me wants to say tell them to stuff their party but that still ends up with your boy feeling left out

 

[TattiesMum]

Personally I'd be tempted to hold a Halloween Party for your son .... invite all of your family including his cousins AND all the other children in his class (and the other year 6 class) and not invite that particular child - let them experience how that feels

Poor little mite

 

[happigail]

Thanks for the tips ladies... Cariad.... I see what you mean about that actually, someone else mentioned shaming her, like letting her know that we never got an invite and did she know??

Tattie... we thought that as well, throw a massive party and let her stop home and see how it feels.

 

[TattiesMum]

Thanks for the tips ladies... Cariad.... I see what you mean about that actually, someone else mentioned shaming her, like letting her know that we never got an invite and did she know??

Tattie... we thought that as well, throw a massive party and let her stop home and see how it feels.

I'm a great one for teaching children moral lessons by putting them in the shoes of their 'victim'. It's the best way to teach them some empathy imho Plus it would give your wee chap something to look forward to and make him feel special

 

[Laura2919]

Thats terrible hun! I think if it was me I would say something just simply because that is out of order for them to judge..

 

[Cariad_bach]

Did you do anything about it in the end hun?

 

[xoxsarahxox]

i agree with the others, i would have a nicebig halloween party and invite everyone but her and make sure she is aware that there is a party. if it bothers her then she can go cry to her parents about it and if they confront you then u can explain the situation you were put in with your son because of their spiteful child. it might sound nasty but kids can be cruel and unless your nasty back they dont seem to learn x

 

[proud_mum]

There's nothing worse than prejudice parents who then teach their children to be prejudice. Children arent born with prejudices, I believe that it is learnt. I feel sorry for you and your son because it just makes me so mad that in the 21st century people can still go around and treat people badly who are diiferent! I'm not sure what you should do, my 1st instinct was for you to confront the mother but to be honest she'll probably have a her little group that would back her. I would maybe just do what a couple of the other ladies said and have a party for your son and not invite this girl and then you're even. As much as your son is upset, if he does get an invite because you talk to the mother, I woulld maybe not let him go because your son doesnt need to be invited out of the mothers shame. Your son should be accepted for who he is and that he is an individual like everyone else. I hope you get something sorted out Please let us know x

 

[hypnorm]

id go to the mum and just say, my son said he is invited to your daughters party, but i haven't seen him with the invite, i think he might have lost it, was he invited or has he got his wires crossed...

 

[sandrass]

I worked with people with disabilities for years. One thing I really learned is that sooooo many people are afraid of what they don't know/don't understand and instead of trying to understand them they hide from them. Its not right . I would definitely talk to her mother, because I believe that we should be teaching our children to accept others for who they are regardless of any "disabilities."

 

[emmylou92]

didnt want to read a run. Poor little lamb...hope you get things sorted

 

[jennijunni]

I am so sorry. It just breaks my heart!! It hurts my heart when my children are hurting, and I know I would feel this same way. Is there a program like BSA or anything where he can make friends outside of school?? Or a church sponsered thing? That way he can get more comfortable?? I dont know, I wish I had more advice. Hugs to you and to your sweet little man!!!