I feel SO alone...Trying not to call him..Anyone in similar position?

[AmySan]

Hi, I'm Amy...I'm new to Single Parents

When I told my BF (well, ex now) that I was pregnant, he told me that he was actually still married....(he had said throughout our relationship that he had been divorced for 2 years...then he said he actually hadn't finalized the divorce...then last month the divorce was finalized in court, which was actually the exact time this baby was conceived) Turns out, they were living together THE ENTIRE TIME, and actually in a relationship! I had seen her facebook page in May, and asked him who she was (same last name, and there was a picture of them together...God I feel stupid) But he started LAUGHING saying that was his SISTER and he couldn't believe I thought that he could be married to her.

Supposedly he told her, and she moved out (I had NEVER been to his place before, he always had a weird excuse...huge red flag, I know) finally I went over there a few times in the past couple of weeks.. He also was always saying how much money he has....But when I went over there, he had pawned his flat screen tvs, and I saw a payday loan receipt on the counter. Everything has been a lie.

We are both in recovery from alcoholism/addiction - I have a year + sober...he supposedly had 2 years, then relapsed recently...and has been off of the wagon since.

On Tuesday he sent me an email saying he wasn't ready for a relationship, and needed to end his marriage as 'delicately as possible'...

I even sent pictures from the U/S on Thursday, no response, then yesterday I asked for help this month with $$ for Prenatal vitamins...no response....My health insurance is $600 a month (cobra) he has said he would pay it...yeah, looking like that won't happen.

I HATE him SO much for lying and I am stunned that he is doing this...I don't WANT to be with him, but I don't want to go through this alone! It is just becoming so real now that we haven't talked in so long that he really is just going to be absent for everything.

I'm starting a new job in November...so I will be working 2 part time jobs (in insurance), then starting to sell life insurance on the side, too...But right now I am not is a good place financially, my Mom helps me with EVERYTHING...I feel so bad

I am SO lonely tonight, and it is so hard not to call him, even though I know he won't answer...I almost want to see if he changed his phone #, because he hasn't responded....in the past even when we got in fights, I'd hear from him...he doesn't 'ignore' well...until now...But at the same time, there has been so much less drama all week....and nothing good is going to come from talking to him...Ahhh.

I'd love to make friends who are in similar situations, or who just want to be friends. Thanks for listening

 

[Strawberrymum]

I know it's really hard not to call but just try to remember all the horrible things he has done to you! You can do this on your own and you will find someone better

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

Wow thats a lot for insursance!!!! Does colorado have state insurance?? Like Medicaid?? Thank the lord maryland has 100% coverage for preg women and covers the child for a year.

As for the loneliness im sry girl...do u live alone? Play with the cats

 

[AmySan]

Thank you so much ladies Made it without calling/texting. Knocked up is on E! lol

Do you have co-pays? My insurance covers everything (besides copays) - it sucks, I was under my Mom's plan with Blue Cross/Blue Shield - then turned 26, so had to elect COBRA (which is just a continuation of BCBS plan, only with 110% premium incread), which is why it is so outrageously expensive - but the coverage is great. I could probably qualify for Medicaid right now, but my Mom is super against it (she is helping pay), and I would lose my dental/vision plan. Blah. Baby will be covered automatically - Hopefully I'll eventually get a full time job and will be able to get insurance through that!

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

Thank you so much ladies Made it without calling/texting. Knocked up is on E! lol

Do you have co-pays? My insurance covers everything (besides copays) - it sucks, I was under my Mom's plan with Blue Cross/Blue Shield - then turned 26, so had to elect COBRA (which is just a continuation of BCBS plan, only with 110% premium incread), which is why it is so outrageously expensive - but the coverage is great. I could probably qualify for Medicaid right now, but my Mom is super against it (she is helping pay), and I would lose my dental/vision plan. Blah. Baby will be covered automatically - Hopefully I'll eventually get a full time job and will be able to get insurance through that!

Nope no co pays. If u can qualify for medicaid get it no point in spending any monry if u dont have to then just pay for a dental or visoon plan or apply for the ones medicaid offers. The way i see it, i pay my taxes so if i qualify for free help then im taking it i dont pay my hard earned money into the govt for the illegal immigrants, mothers with 55 kids who dont work, etc to sit there and collect amd then not take advantage of it myself. Yunno?

 

[AmySan]

I completely agree. I am getting food assistance and WIC right now - which I am certainly not proud of, but at least am working in the right direction! As far as Medicaid, it sounds great, I have a friend on it, but she doesn't work - My mom and I work together in insurance - in the insurance world, medicaid is like a bad word, lol....so she is really set on me staying on COBRA - plus once I start my second job, I am not sure if I will remain eligible for long, and am uninsurable due to past 'things' lol relating to when I was really depressed, etc. Which would leave me in a really difficult situation!

That is SO cool you have no copays!!! That is a Maryland thing, under any insurance?

 

[VmrsbabcockV]

That sucks..i guess cobra would b ur best bet then...and yes its Medicaid through the state of md for pregnant women covers 100% cost of prenatal visits, delivery and postnatal visits and covers baby for a year. U have to pick a mco i have amerigroup bc thats what both my drs accept. A lot of my friends have it so when i got my bfp i just applied online and got the letter saying i was accepted like 4 days later.

 

[3iNa7]

I know how it feels, trust me I'm in a very similar situation, only he wasn't married they were engaged but he supposedly moved out, and they had a daughter. Every night i want to call him, but that would get me no where, and i miss him but hes not worth it, but i hate going through this alone. But we can do it!

 

[AmySan]

Thank you 3iNa, yes we can!! I tried adding you as a friend but it isn't giving me the option?

 

[whatwillbe]

I now how you feel Hun, my fob left me at 5 weeks preg, turns out he still wanted his ex, not me, shame he never told me this before he got me pregnant, he hasn't tried to contact me since and every time I contact him , he either puts the phone down , ignores my calls or it ends in a massive argument, so no point contacting him, I hope your fob mans up and does the right thing, if not you will get through this and be a great mom, it's really hard to accept that everything you had was a lie, but it does get easier in time x

 

[Emma&Freya]

How horrible of him

Because Im a bitch Id actually tell his wife! But thats me. Hope your ok

 

[AmySan]

Thanks ladies - and so sorry to hear about that Ugh some men are just ****ed up!