I find it hard

[Pyrrhic]

Looking at my LO sometimes, knowing her sibling would be 5 years old.

I don't really talk about this. In fact I've never talked to my OH about it. (he knows it happened, but not why - I conceived before I met him)

I thought it would be easier, but it's not. I miss my baby and I hate the person that took him away from me with such an incredible about of loathing.

I was in an abusive relationship, and it didn't matter to him that I was pregnant. Nor when I came out of hospital after losing our baby.

 

[Serene123]

 

[AppleBlossom]

I don't know what happened but whatever it was I admire you for being so strong and having another baby. Fortunately I have never lost a child and I hope I never do so I can't say I understand how you feel. But you have Niamh and she is gorgeous, happy and healthy to you hunny x

 

[sam's mum]

 

[TashaAndBump]

 

[orange-sox]

 

[haaza123]

Sending you .
xx

 

[Barneyboo]

Just want to give you a huge cyber x x x x

 

[lollylou1]

big hugs hun, i so sorry for your loss

Lou
xxx

 

[Drazic<3]

Im so sorry for your loss.
You have done such a brave thing speaking out if you haven't before. Please don't be afraid to keep talking.
You have a beautiful little girl there, but your little angel will always be your first. Please don't be afraid to grieve when you need to.

If you ever need a friend, please feel free to PM me

 

[Pyrrhic]

Thanks so much girls

I don't know if I will ever be ready to talk about it. It was such an awful, awful situation. A lot of bad things happened after I lost the baby too. It was such a dark period of my life.

This is the closest I've ever come to talking about it. Part of me wants to, but I also don't want to. I don't know why. It's been almost 6 years. It's a long time to keep something to yourself.

I've even thought about posting on BnB anonymously about it. I don't know why though. I don't know why that would make a difference? Maybe Im scared of people judging me, or feeling sorry for me. I don't want people to pity me, if that makes sense?

I just feel so mixed up sometimes.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Aww hun, I can imagine it's so hard to talk about and you know us girls would never judge you. I know you don't want people pitying you but maybe you should talk to someone I'm like you and hate to talk about things that have happened to me and I have never said anything about them on the forum, infact I've only ever told one person and I don't intend to ever tell anyone else. But just telling even that one person made me feel like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If you do ever want to talk to someone you can always send me a pm. I hope one day soon you ARE able to talk about it. It does help the grief although it seems like it would make it worse x

 

[princess_bump]

x x

 

[heather91]

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

massive cuddles sweetie you no im always here 2 chat.. i no how painful and sad it is
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[UKMummy]

I'm very sorry to hear that you went through a really tough time. Maybe the fact that you are thinking about it and kind of talking about it is all part of the healing process. It's a positive sign.

 

[jen1604]

If you ever are ready to talk about it then we're all here to listen.
Like other people have said,no one would judge you,thats not what we're here for
xxxx

 

[Drazic<3]

Im not saying i understand, because well.. it's so annoying when people say that and it's simply not true! But i didn't tell anyone about my miscarriage other than OH and it's only since I have been coming here that i've gathered the strength from somewhere to speak about it.

There are details I haven't said because it breaks my heart so much, but opening up a little has helped so much. Accepting what has happened after so many years of pretending. Me and OH have even managed to speak about it a little, and honestly hun, as hard as it is, as soul-destroying at times, it does help.

As i said before, i know we don't know each other well but if you ever feel like opening up I promise with my whole heart I will never judge you. I would just listen.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Couldn't say anything more then what Drazic just said. I feel the same way.

 

[Lazy Leo]

Oh hun, I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through such a distressing time and that you are still dealing with it. It sounds like you have reached a point in your life where you are ready to speak about it and hopefully fully recover from it.

I've never gone through anything really traumatic but a friend has and she went through lots of physciatric care to accept it and move on. At one stage I would have helped her commit suicide she was so low, but my mum talked me out of that notion and I'm glad she did. She has come through it really well and now no-one would ever know except those she has chosen to tell.

I hope you can start to talk about what happened with someone, whether it be on this site, via PM with someone or with someone in the real world (!) You lost a baby and that is a massive blow hun. You are entitled to grieve and you will never forget that little person as long as you live. It's natural sweetheart and no-one should tell you that its not.

I think when people come through such terrible things people don't tend to pity them, but respect them for being able to come through it. You've patched yourself up, settled into a loving relationship and you're a wonderful mum to Naeve. I don't pity you whatever you've been through, but I respect you for the kindness with which you speak to others and the advice you give them when they need it.