I gave birth, how can he not be a grandchild!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jacky24]

I am so horibbly pissed off right now....

Most of you know my story, i had a stilborn baby at 37weeks and 2days, and almost lost my own life on the 11 June 2007.

Now i was in labour for 14 LONG PAINFULL hours.... I had a c-section as we thought my child was fine, after the doctor cut me open they realised my child had passed away 6hours ago.....

Now my SIL had her baby on the 21st of June 2008, and alot of people ask my MIL and FIL if it is their first grandchild.... They say yes....

Does my child not matter.... have they forgoten about CJ.

I mean he was my first child, how can he not be their first gandchild??????????????

 

[lorrilou]

that is horrible. Of course your baby matters.

maybe they find it easier to tell people that they only have one grandchild, rather than going into details etc....

 

[leedsforever]

aww hun

That must be really hurtful to hear them say that!! Im sure they havent forgotton !!

big big hugs

 

[sam's mum]

I'm so sorry - that must be really hard to hear. Of course he is a grandchild to them. I agree with lorrilou - different people deal with their grief in different ways, and maybe they find it easier to tell people that just so they don't have to do into details, especially to people they are not close to. I'm sure that doesn't mean that they don't think about CJ, or that they don't consider him their grandson. They might also be worried that they'll upset you if they talk about him, without realising that saying that is even more upsetting.

Maybe you should tell them how you feel? x

 

[Sarah88]

You poor thing!

 

[NikiJJones]

Jacky I'm so sorry to hear this. It must be so painful for you, and I dearly wish I could do something to help. It must be painful enough for you that your SIL has had her baby, without having to deal with this too. Really, your child needs extra-special aknowledgement as the first grandchild in order to help you through all your pain.
Thinking of you and sending lots of
xxxx

 

[NickyT75]

Aw im sorry you are feeling upset hun

You have every right to feel mad at this but as the girls have said... maybe your parents just don't feel comfortable mentioning CJ to other people incase they are pressed to go into details which would obviously be very upsetting for everyone.

Im so sorry for your loss sweetheart xx

 

[Donna79x]

Aww hun of course your child matters xxx hugs xxx

 

[Ema]

XXX

 

[Snowball]

Awwww hun

I really wish I could find the words but my parents are exactly the same about Beau

Sometimes I just think they don't want to talk about him because they are frightened of upsetting me. I don't think they know quite how much I want him to be aknowledged as a part of our lives. Maybe your parents feel the same way?

 

[mizzi]

awww course your child matters, some people dont think i think thats the problem

 

[Blob]

Awww thats awful maybe they just dont want to make people feel awkward who ask? My sister died a few years ago and if people ask about my family its very hard to know what to say cos you dont want to make them feel bad or awkward. Or they just might not want you to feel bad about it, maybe you should say to them thats how you feel, i doubt they realise that its hurting you

 

[jacky24]

Thanks girls, well i am so not being unreasonable today.

I just spoke to OH and i mentioned it to him if he has heard his perants say that my SIL baby is their first grandchild and he said yes and it has been pissing him off since, he never mentioned anything as he knew i would FREAK OUT, and i didn't say anything as he always tells me i over reacting and his perants would never say anything to hurt me.

And OH has noticed how horrible MIL has been to me, and been zoning in on her little comments to me and about me...

I think i might actually slap her if she has one more horrible thing to say to me.

This morning she said, every single bitch on this plot has been pregnant and had babies but you... i did the sly grin and thought to myself F*&^% you bitch....
Only cause i have been TTC now for 10months again

 

[6lilpigs]

How awful for you, I'd go ahead and slap the bitch lol. Get her in a head lock and drag her around abit rofl, you'll be surprised how much better you feel afterwards.
I hope you get your good news soon, good luckxx

 

[Sweatpea24]

I'm sorry your parents aren't understanding. I was just about to say that you should talk to them about how their comment made you feel but they probably wouldn't understand where your coming from. You should surrond youself with positive people, that creats positive energy. I Hope you get your BFP soon!

 

[orange-sox]

I know this must be a difficult time for you Jacky, but you are so strong, a true inspiration. Your MIL is being downright awful to you, and she should be ashamed of herself for acting that way.

I don't have much advice for you, only that you're far greater a person than she is, although her comments are hurtful you must rise up against them.

Wishing you all the luck in your quest for another baby, I'm sure you will tell your child about CJ when the time comes, and through you all he will live on

 

[miel]

i am so sorry jackie...your are right your little angel is still the first child and grandchild of your family
thinking of you hon

 

[CapitalChick]

Jacky, You are so strong. You've been through more than many of us could ever ever bare.
I hate to see you going through crap like this. You don't deserve it.
I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that it's just too painful for them to talk about your loss. But I do hope they come around some day.

 

[lousielou]

Sweetie, your post really touched me. You have every right to feel upset by their behaviour. You really are such a strong person, and I know there are plenty of girls on here who think you're an absolute inspiration.

 

[lorrilou]

i take back what i said. she sounds like a rite fookin bitch!!!!

i would just act as if they dont exist hun, people like that are so not worth it.