I got judged!! *pregnancy rant*

[xBabyGoose]

I found out I was pregnant March this year during the first year of uni, and after much difficulty and upsetting consideration I decided to return and carry on with second year this september, as i found out that my course was stopping and if i took a year out i would have anything to return to, would have to pay the full wack £9k course fees and start all over again.

Over the summer my bump grew, and i started 2nd year induction yesterday. As I walked into my building to wait outside the lecture hall with a close friend, everyone, and i mean EVERYONE just turned to stare at me. There were giggle, laughs, gasps, muttering, whispering (POINTING!!), and i felt so intimidated! My friend noticed this and was trying to distract me and stop me noticing what was going on (bless her). Sat at the front of the lecture hall when the talk was starting, (just incase i needed to run for a pee!) and even when I turned around people were still staring and giving me funny looks - in a room full of 200 people.


I mean, come on, I felt like I was back at high school again! Ive never been one to enjoy much attention, but I was clearly the talk of the day for everyone. I am young, at 21 (most of the students are a couple of years younger than me), but I also have been in a stable relationship for four years, have a job and also have a shared mortgage to pay.

Im ranting because I felt like people were judging me without knowing my situation. I've come from everyone around me being genuinely happy im having a baby, to people whispering and gossiping and giving me disgusting looks! It's not like I live in student halls, go out partying every weekend and rely on government student loans to live off. (NOT that i'd ever judge anyone in that situation!). I am an adult and I have a very stable lifestyle, and I come to uni to study, not to piss about.

I felt like turning around to everyone and going 'I bet you all think that this was an accident as well do you? Well guess what - it wasn't!'

I just couldn't believe how shallow some people can be. I have lectures starting next week, and for the first time, im really not looking forward to them.

 

[fides]

what a bunch of rude idiots!! they need to go back to high school. sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[tlh97990]

i go through that too i was set up to graduate in december before i found out i was pregnant. now im due in november and still sticking with my plan to graduate in december. when i went on campus to get my text books everyone was just staring like "i'm glad i'm not that girl" i honestly dont even think it would be much better if i was married! i felt like in college people are in different stages in their lives and wouldnt be judged but clearly its not the case. i keep telling myself to concentrate on getting my school work done and doing well so i can graduate in december and have my daughter at my graduation!!

 

[xBabyGoose]

It's awful isnt it?

It's like people were pitying me - I have an incredible life, i'm the happiest and luckiest i've ever been and I wouldnt change anything for the world! No need to ever pity this girl again lol

 

[darsilver1]

Sorry to hear you ladies having folks at school being rude...I am so glad my experience was not like that..Maybe people talked about me but I just ignored them or didnt know it...I was attending a catholic college when I was pregnant. There were tons of Nuns and monks everywhere! I swear I thought I saw people praying for me. Some of the nuns even came up and rubbed my belly and said a blessing to the baby and told me how grateful they were that I kept LO. My professors and classmates were pretty nice and many asked me questions and gave me cards when I left to deliver the baby. School even allowed me to come back 2 weeks after having baby...everything went back to normal. I did feel a bit isolated because I was going through all these changes and all the girls on campus where young and free. Hang in there ladies, you are doing a great thing for LO by completing your education. Screw those who look and talk about you!

 

[knitbit]

Wow, that's really immature. Try to brush it off. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

 

[Kmx]

I can imagine how it was. I have just finished my second year at uni in may but not returning til next September. I could imagine what the reaction wud be if I did though. I
Wouldn't let it bother you, most of the people there still havnt Matured since high school!

 

[waiting4allie]

I hate that people are treating you this way. I attend college online so I dont have to worry about the looks. I am only 20. I will turn 21 October 22, my baby is due October 4th. I have been with my fiance for over 3 years and been engaged for just over 2 years. We live together and do evertyhing on our own. We go to Walmart every Thurday to go grocery shopping and boy do we get some stares! Last week was the worst. It really gets under my skin, especially with the horomones!!! And my fingers are too swollen to wear my engagement ring now so people just assume we arent as committed as we are. And I dont even know why I care what they think, but I do :/

In the end, all that matters is that we are happy and our babies will be happy and healthy!

 

[hellywelly]

Sorry to hear about that - you know what - I am a great believer in what goes around comes around - the last laugh will be on them somehow one day - trust me xxxxxxxx

 

[ovetta2001]

Depends how brave you are but it may do you some good to 'take control of the situation'

Talk to one of your lecturers and ask if you can address the class before anything starts...then give them a good telling off and tell them to grow up

 

[Cuffy]

I had my ds at 20 and never let that get to me, the older mums looked down their noses and people my own age didn't really know what to do with themselves. But I've raised a fantastic young chap and that was my focus from the bfp til now-don't let a bunch of immature or daft kids distract you from what is perfectly natural. If it continues confront them see what is so amusing as you would have thought by university they would have the maturity to deal with natural occurrences such as pregnancy?! It was always going to draw a little attention but don't let them make you feel bad.

 

[SuperKat]

Wow, they all sound super immature to me! I was pregnant with my daughter my last semester of college...I remember getting so distracted because she would always go nut moving around during my most difficult class! lol Good for you for going back and finishing up! Your classmates are just silly and immature!

 

[jenny82]

Stupid bloody students!

Just ignore them. I started back to uni with my last LO at 32 weeks pregnant. I didn't get any funny looks - or maybe i just didn't notice! Anyone that acts like that just shows how immature they are. They'll be the ones getting crappy degrees after drinking for 3 years. You're doing brilliantly! Keep it up! x

 

[tootsweets]

jenny82 is absolutely right, you will do even better than the general student population because you have a massive focus in your life, not just boozing and fancy dress. These people sound like sheep who follow each other's reactions - a lot of students seem to be like this sadly. Hold your head high, you are creating a miracle and have nothing to apologise for. I went back on Monday and have had a few looks, but I feel so proud to be making my little boy I imagine to myself they're all jealous!

 

[JZW]

What bunch of idiots! Don't these people realise that people go to uni under different circumstances and from different backgrounds, age groups etc. To judge you for being pregnant is stupid. They don't know you or your situation. I remember there was a lady on my course who was in uni coz she was bored at home, her hubby was mega rich and she was a housewife with several grown up kids. She used to stay in 5str hotels whenever we went on course trips. Not everyone who goes to uni is in the same situation. They need to grow up

 

[hawalkden]

I'd just brush their 'attitudes' off hun .. They are all just the 'Freshers' lot and just got to uni for the fact of it and don't realise what the real worlds like.. e.g. working, bills, mortgage etc ..

It'll hit them soon when they've got them to pay for and then all their uni loans off and you've got the better hand when you've graduated and you're in the better position regarding a career etc and you'll have a gorgeous LO too

 

[ellie27]

They are only looking - looking at someone for a bit longer than normal, because they are pregnant, is very natural.

If you walk down the street with a bump folk will stare at your bump - thats all thats happening here.

Its you who has to learn to deal with it by telling yourself 'who cares'

You walking into a room full of folk, of course they are going to all stare, and that would be a room full of folk who are not necessarily students! The fact that you are in 2nd year uni makes it more shocking to them as they wonder 'wow, how is she going to manage this - pregnant and then with baby??' I would be thinking the exact same thing!!

You just need to put on a brave face, concentrate on your studies and get on with it - regardless of anyone else. They are going to stare, and will keep staring for the next couple years til you finish!!

 

[Catwiffy]

Immature people, not worth your consideration! Don't let them get to you, they're not worth it. It's nobody else's business but yours.

Obviously have very dull lives if they are so fascinated by yours, lol!xx

 

[tlh97990]

the worst part for me is i only have two classes i need to graduate and im taking two online to keep me full time. one of my on campus classes has let me finish all my work early so i dont have to worry about coming back to school until december for finals! however my other professor told me i needed to make sure i have my baby on a friday so i can be back to school monday ready for class because it only takes 48 hours to have a baby, recover, and bond! whoever told him it takes 48 hours for this is crazy he must either not have kids or never fully bonded with them and if i was his wife i'd probably knock him out for saying that to someone!!!

 

[veebot]

Face forward, ignore them and remeber you have a good life. All these people are irrelevant. Thats a fact. Good job for staying in school as well. Dont you dare quite on account of other people either. Seems to me you are doing a great job.

I had 2 friends who were pregnant back in uni but they hung in there and finished. stick with your friends.