I had to dump him in the end

[Mally01]

I posted on another thread before about my situation:-
https://www.babyandbump.com/single-parents/731795-he-has-left-me-heartbroken.html

Today I am officially a single mum and I am devastated. My partner has treated me so badly since he found out I was pregnant that today I was forced to end the relationship myself. I asked him over the phone if we were finished or not and he said 'I don't know, I can't answer that'??? Who says that to someone they profess to have loved for two years?. I told him that must mean a big 'no' then and he couldn't give me a straight answer. So he finds out I am pregnant and I immediately become this stranger to him. Words cannot describe how much he has broken my heart. My little baby will not know its father now What kind of man is he? I told him it was over and that he had done so much damage to my heart it was not repairable. He immediately blocked me on facebook - I'm guessing he was happy with my decision then? and couldn't wait to delete me from his life and make sure he never sees pictures of his baby. How could I have been so wrong about someone? I'm 38 and pregnant and even though I had to say the words, really he has dumped me. Sorry for ranting, it's just not how I envisaged this pregnancy to pan out. I thought it would bring us together not split us up.

 

[dustbunny]

It is amazing how finding out your pregnant causes such changes in a relationship. From my own experience me and my ex were trying for a baby and when I told him I was pregnant he replied with "Oh... well im a bit excited but I havent told my mum yet." I had my doubts and ended it with him a couple days later... and since then I have never heard so many excuses in my life and never had someone blame me for their incompetence before. Long and short of my story being that it makes us stronger people in the end.
As for him blocking you on fb though, I wouldn't take that as a sign he is happy. Its more likely he just doesn't want to be reminded of you at the moment... and not in a horrible way, just it's his way of coping at the moment. But that is the majority of men for you, too many stick their heads in the sand.
But just remember, there are loads of people out there [including on this forum] which are here for you and don't mind you ranting away till your blue in the face. Hope your pregnancy goes really well.

 

[Mally01]

....It only gets worse. I have just been sent by e-mail by a friend a blog / write up my now ex-boyfriend posted on their website. It's a page long essay that was written yesterday morning (before we even broke up) and in it he mentions his 'stunning' ex-wife that divorced him three years ago and how he loved her and still loves her and how he wouldn't even glance at her in the street now and how much she hurt him. Not once does he mention me, the times we had, the relationship or that he is going to be a father. I just can't believe he can put me through anymore pain right now but he has. How to twist the knife in even more. Sorry for my ranting but I guess it doesn't help being super hormonal either. Thanks for listening and I am glad to have come on here and found so many people willing to give advice and support, it's lovely.

 

[dustbunny]

I once had an ex [not on the same level as you as I wasn't pregnant] who the day after I broke up with him messaged his ex asking her back out and that he still loved and always loved her. He then came round to mine a week later asking if we could talk and I just said "like you spoke to your ex?" Needless to say it hurt but it makes you stronger in the end.
We have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince. I know its not nice now and it probably won't help but we are both a few frogs down, that prince is only getting closer.

 

[Laura2919]

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, always remember that
He sounds like he couldnt care but that doesnt mean it wont hurt because one day it will hurt him, it might not be now, or in a few years but one day he will realise what he done.
I am sorry you have been treated like this but its better now than when the baby is born and it breaks your heart even more.

 

[cluelessnow]

The crazy things FOBs do when they find out is something I will never understand ever.

My FOB tried to get me to terminate for the first 3 months until it was too late to do so. His argument was he wanted me and a different life without LO. Now in my second trimester, he has got used to LO but doesn't want me. Ironic.

What I'm trying to say is men go into shock mode and then do lots of stupid things to try and deal with it. Yeah, mine deactivated his Facebook profile and I took it as he was embarrassed of me and LO so I did the same thing too. Later he's back on. Me, not yet.

It's terrible what happened to you but give it some time. He will do things that will vex you. I made the mistake of taking it all. We're still talking now and luckily it's amicable. You did the right thing. Don't let him stress you out because LO needs you to be strong. I'm 38 too so I know how I'm really lucky to be 24 weeks now and I will never forgive myself if I put LO in danger. Take care of yourself and that means to not allow yourself get too stressed out. Hugs

 

[Rhio92]

Huuuuge xxxx

 

[Mally01]

Thanks guys hugs from me to you too I feel a bit better today and I've realised that after yesterday and all the crying I did, I'm way better off emotionally without him. I want this pregnancy to be lovely and stress free. I have moved back in with my folks for a while and they are bending over backwards to help me and are excited for me. My ex is acting so crazy right now and I feel sad that within three weeks we went from a happy doting couple to total break down. I just don't feel the same way about him anymore after he has done this. What also annoys me is that he is so selfish he is probably feeling the same way about me. And what did I do wrong? Decide to keep a baby which he was equally responsible for making? Men...........they should all come with a warning sign attached.