i have a confession to make. :(

[lilmrspanda]

I really hate the Expression Full time mummy >? Like Wtf they do make it sound like a chore And what not Really bugs me Its like Id do anything to be in your Shoes And yet you Moan about them Every five seconds .. I remember Walking in town one Day And I smiled at these lady's with there kids in a pram And they Was Like Don't Do it !! lol I was Like Its the only thing I want .. and ppl do not seem to understand how much it hurts when they are like ohh you have plenty time to get pregnant live your life ete .,

 

[zanDark]

yay another Greek!

all I can say is I 100% feel your pain I have periods of being very optimistic and happy and feeling free...and then I have periods (like now) of being depressed and wondering what I did to deserve such heartache and I get to run into people I know with 5 kids lol my SIL told me that a neighbor just had her 7th!!! seriously?!

I'm currently surrounded by a new wave of "oh-I-didn't-want-to-get-pregnant-and-I-only-had-sex-once-oh-well" pregnant people and I'm doing my best to not be bitter and sad but it's sooooo difficult most of the time!

 

[greekgirl]

i just found out my one friend (not the one the confession was about) WAS pregnant but lost it.
i got really upset but she seemed to handle it very well. she said that obviously her body rejected the embryo because it was faulty. then she went on to say that she is a bad mother anyway being that her only son is having trouble making friends since he is bullying all the other kids in school.
but she is a very well rounded person and i highly doubt it's entirely her fault he is a bully.

sometimes i wonder how i would handle a loss. hope that i never find out.
anyway... it's always nice to have another greek in the group zandark!

 

[greekgirl]

also people who have never had trouble conceiving a child will never understand your pain.
i also get the "oh, stop. a lot of people had trouble at first- even me. and as soon as i stopped thinking about it i got pregnant!" most people who say this had been trying for under a year.

what do you say to them? -you still don't get it!!! i just avoid that topic now with people.

 

[greekgirl]

i regret telling anyone that we are going for IVF. well, anyone in our immediate family.... i live in a small town on an island and i keep getting this paranoid feeling that people will start talking about me not being able to have children- it seems it is still very taboo here to not be able to conceive on your own... not that we had no chances whatsoever we just couldn't wait around for it to happen.
the pharmacist knows because we bought some of the medication from her, who happens to be my OH's aunt, the nurses at the local clinic know because some of the shot i couldn't do myself, and my OH's parents know who might have told OH's sister who doesn't like us but you know how parents are... they want their kids to get along. (she has said some nasty things in the past and words are hard to forget. might be forgiven but not forgotten)
i hope they haven't told anyone. i know my parents haven't. and the only reason i told them was because i will have to stay at my parents house after the transfer to rest. and the only reason i told my in-laws is because my FIL kept saying that we were lazy and that is why we couldn't give him a grandchild. he kept complaining about it and he made me feel so low so i just came out and told him.
plus he's friends with my boss from whom i will have to ask for a leave....

sorry for the rant.

 

[Ducktales]

i could have written your post myself.
First i had to hear from my husbands cousin about how hard TTC was (they had been trying for 3 months), now she is 8 weeks PG, has announced it to the entire family and at a family event last week she spent 3 hours moaning, saying being pregnant is not a miracle, it is gross and she keeps being sick
what i wanted to say was "shut up you selfish selfish bitch, if only you knew what it takes for some of us to even get a BFP you would shut your stupid mouth"
but i didnt
i smiled and said "it will get better soon"
she said "um, not being funny, but how would you know"
no one knows about my MC, but i wanted to blurt it out in her face, but didnt as am too thoughtful in not making her worried about the possibility
secretly i had horrible thoughts about how much easier it would be for me and DH is she did MC, but i dont mean that at all, and that is possibly the worst thing i ever ever thought or said aloud in my life
what a bitch LTTC makes me
good luck to everyone
xxx

 

[Just_married]

i could have written your post myself.
First i had to hear from my husbands cousin about how hard TTC was (they had been trying for 3 months), now she is 8 weeks PG, has announced it to the entire family and at a family event last week she spent 3 hours moaning, saying being pregnant is not a miracle, it is gross and she keeps being sick
what i wanted to say was "shut up you selfish selfish bitch, if only you knew what it takes for some of us to even get a BFP you would shut your stupid mouth"
but i didnt
i smiled and said "it will get better soon"
she said "um, not being funny, but how would you know"
no one knows about my MC, but i wanted to blurt it out in her face, but didnt as am too thoughtful in not making her worried about the possibility
secretly i had horrible thoughts about how much easier it would be for me and DH is she did MC, but i dont mean that at all, and that is possibly the worst thing i ever ever thought or said aloud in my life
what a bitch LTTC makes me
good luck to everyone
xxx

Oh my goodness, I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut!!

And as for telling others about TTC , my dh will tell anyone who listens but he doesn't realise that people may take pity that it's not happened for us and well be labelled the infertile couple. My aunt, who conceived at 41 after TTC for ages and needing clomid, doesn't talk about anything else to me now, she simply asks 'anythng yet?' first before even hello. Grrr!

On the bright side, however, my friend had a baby boy yesterday. She tried for 3.5 yrs and needed surgery to conceive, so I don't grudge her one tiny bit. She has actually been the best person to chat to as she isn't full of pity, she's positive and funny & I'm so delighted she has started her new journey. Gives me hope that it will happen for us! Xxxx

 

[zanDark]

i smiled and said "it will get better soon"
she said "um, not being funny, but how would you know"

smack her!!!! smack her really really really hard and then upload a video of it so we can have a party in the LTTTC forum


what a jerk!

 

[Ducktales]

i smiled and said "it will get better soon"
she said "um, not being funny, but how would you know"

smack her!!!! smack her really really really hard and then upload a video of it so we can have a party in the LTTTC forum


what a jerk!

oh if only !!!!!!!!!!!

 

[greekgirl]

wow! ducktales! what a bitch! i would have loved to smack her too! and trust me, i completely understand about the secret bad thoughts about her. i know you don't truly mean it... it's just that people like that push you over the top sometimes and you can't help but feel moments of spitefulness. what a terrible terrible person she is!!! sorry you had to go through that.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

I can sooo relate to everything you said in your post! We tried for 2 years and 7 months and I can honestly say was the hardest time of my life, seeing BFNs every single month sucked the excitement and fun out of trying... We tried everything! Then those woman would get pregnant without trying and then try and give you advice!

We did fall pregnant in February everything seemed perfectly fine, I went to my 12 week routine scan to find out that I had a blighted ovum! (no baby just a sac and placenta) oh the devastation ;( I felt as though someone had played the most cruelest joke possible on me!... After trying for so long for it to then happen, and then disappear again I have questioned what have I done to deserve this?

It did happen for me, but now I'm questioning whether or not to bother anymore... I can't take any more heartache

 

[PocoHR]

Hey greekgirl, I just wanted to say I totally sympathize. When I meet God, I've already warned him I am going to kick him in the spiritual nuts for doing this to women. Its wrong, its not fair! Sometimes, its too hard to be level headed and positive all the time, I hope you are feeling better now though xx

 

[Ducktales]

Babee Bugs, i am sorry for your loss
i also had a blighted ovum and found out at a private scan i paid for 10.5 weeks - so i have some idea of how you are feeling...life is shit - maybe Poco HR can give god a kick from you as well
big hugs
xxx

 

[RoccoBoxr]

Babee_bugs, I'm SO sorry, that must have been just heartbreaking. I can't imagine how hard that must've been.

I know exactly what you are all saying, in fact it made me feel better just to read this thread! My SIL (who I love dearly and am excited for) is probably going to be going into labor today or tomorrow and I am her "birth coach", so I am preparing myself for a day full of holding back my own emotions until I can go outside and cry by myself. It'll be a joyous day, but I know it will only make me feel like I'm never going to be where she is.

I agree with the frustrations of the "TTC'ers" who have been "trying" for all of a couple months. I actually had to finally unsubscribe to the May testing thread because of all the BFP's who were like "I finally got my BFP" and then they mention it's like their second or third month trying. Ok, you're not allowed to say finally when it's been like a month. I've had my heart broken every month for like a year and a half, finally is reserved for people like us. Hmm, maybe I should only watch the LTTTC boards, huh? So I can control my outbursts. thanks for letting me vent though, this actually made me smile, which I needed today!

Good luck ladies, keep smiling and keep everyone posted!

 

[aintlifegrand]

Hey greekgirl, I just wanted to say I totally sympathize. When I meet God, I've already warned him I am going to kick him in the spiritual nuts for doing this to women. Its wrong, its not fair! xx

This is hilarious! Made me laugh at a time when I needed it.

 

[theclarks8687]

 

[greekgirl]

did i mention that we tried IVF and got ourselves a BFN?? i wonder if i am holding in all the pain and not realizing it.
i don't feel as crappy as i thought i would. of course i've had almost two weeks to come to terms with it but i am surprised at how strong i am. i had a small break down on the 10th day after the transfer- my first BFN, then after my BFN beta test i took a day of not wanting to see anyone besides my students and my DH and now i feel fine.
actually so glad my period came and that everything is working fine.

hope everyone is well.

 

[PocoHR]

did i mention that we tried IVF and got ourselves a BFN?? i wonder if i am holding in all the pain and not realizing it.
i don't feel as crappy as i thought i would. of course i've had almost two weeks to come to terms with it but i am surprised at how strong i am. i had a small break down on the 10th day after the transfer- my first BFN, then after my BFN beta test i took a day of not wanting to see anyone besides my students and my DH and now i feel fine.
actually so glad my period came and that everything is working fine.

hope everyone is well.

I am really sorry about your IVF. I really hope your get your baby soon. Its awesome that you are coping well, you must have been well prepared mentally for anything. Hope your weekend is great xx

 

[greekgirl]

hi!
i am on my second IVF in my first week after embryo transfer and awaitng the results. i feel like this is finally the time i get to be a mommy! far more positive than last time... i feel a little funny but won't get into symptom talk cause that is a road that is too scary for me to go down right now.
my friend who i started this thread about is actually pregnant and sort planning on telling us officially - but we already know- sometime next week, just a few days before my beta. i hope i can stay positive until then. also work begins the day i am scheduled for my beta and that in itself is scary. i will most likely be surrounded by children when i get the phone call. eek.
so i hope everyone had a nice summer...
i wish you all the best!