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I have so much anger in my heart - Vent - long
- Thread starter Calambria
- Start date
babycrazy1706
Mummy to Elijah and TTC
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- May 3, 2011
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- 5,367
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big big hugs!!! i hope you feel better soon. you and LO are better off without that nasty vile man. it will get better in time hun. promise. hang on in there and take good care of yourself. Xx
Dezireey
Well-Known Member
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My ex is very similar to yours, from being uncooperative to the mental problems and 'woe is me' attitude. The lies he told me, the things he did and said. Callous, cruel man. They are wolves in sheeps clothing. Make you think you are with a decent guy and then before you know it, they show their true colours and become like monsters. Its very very difficult NOT to be angry. I have ended up in therapy because of it. Even now, the last contact with FOB consisted of him excusing a HUGE lie about saying he had a child that died into a 'I just cant cope with kids' mantra.
Time is the only healer. The anger can re-surface from time to tim and it changes you. Seek some counselling to re-direct this anger as you dont want to find yourself snapping at your LO because you have become angry inside and think 'this is not me, I dont behave like this?'
Dont pressurise yourself to get involved with someone again. Just have an immense tick list of good character requirements and be ruthless with the next guy. If I date a guy who is e.g. rude to a waiter, I will dump him.
You will get there. Dont waste anymore tears or anger on him though. They are not worth it, none of them are.
Time is the only healer. The anger can re-surface from time to tim and it changes you. Seek some counselling to re-direct this anger as you dont want to find yourself snapping at your LO because you have become angry inside and think 'this is not me, I dont behave like this?'
Dont pressurise yourself to get involved with someone again. Just have an immense tick list of good character requirements and be ruthless with the next guy. If I date a guy who is e.g. rude to a waiter, I will dump him.
You will get there. Dont waste anymore tears or anger on him though. They are not worth it, none of them are.
Proserpina
Mother of Dragons
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2012
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- 1,219
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I just can't believe the stupidity of some men. I have known since high school that most 1st-world-countries have decent child support systems in place whereby a determined woman will be able to collect roughly ~20% of FOB's income to support the baby. It's not a perfect system, but it's there, and unless they've been living under a rock, the men know it's there. Why do so many men act like little babies upon learning that their actions have consequences?Calambria said:
Sorry you are having to put up with this, OP. My husband has not been there for me on this current pregnancy and it has been so incredibly painful. He flaked out on me when I was pregnant with DD, too, so I guess I should have learned my lesson.
People who "can't cope with kids" shouldn't have sex. Especially men, since they have no say on whether or not to terminate a pregnancy.
I keep thinking I've replied to this...lol. I think my brain is a bit fried. LO and I both have been sick.
Thank you for the replies and the support. I do have PPD - Which is probably not helping matters right now. I have an appointment at the end of this month with a program specifically geared towards women who experience perinatal and postpartum depression. It took me awhile to get into this program as I had to demand 3 different evals until I got the help I deserved. Anyhow, it offers many things and counseling is definitely one of them.
Everytime I think my H is nuts and that no one else can possibly be dealing with this...I visit one of my single parents forums, and boom there you go. Not that I want any of you ladies to suffer - But you DO tend to sort of feel like this is surreal Twilight Zone stuff and no one would get it, but alas people do because they're going through the same business.
My husband has the mentality that he overrides the law. He just kept insisting that CSE would absolutely have to go through him and he would have to voluntarily make payments when he could afford to do so...Mmm...lol. I laugh to spare my sanity, as it is just evidence of how much of a control freak he is. That's why we're not together. And yes, I know he goes through the baby to get to me...He can't hurt me through himself anymore...He knows I no longer want to be with him or am in love with him. He uses what is important. He is so pitiful and detached.
Dez, been reading your recent updates about that fool. It just keeps getting worse. You think leaving them and starting a new life is the hardest part, then you realize that was actually relatively easy in comparison...He is just repulsive, Dez. I can't get over the stuff he has done and lied about. He has just created new lows I've never even considered. You are so blessed to be away from him, love.
Thank you for the replies and the support. I do have PPD - Which is probably not helping matters right now. I have an appointment at the end of this month with a program specifically geared towards women who experience perinatal and postpartum depression. It took me awhile to get into this program as I had to demand 3 different evals until I got the help I deserved. Anyhow, it offers many things and counseling is definitely one of them.
Everytime I think my H is nuts and that no one else can possibly be dealing with this...I visit one of my single parents forums, and boom there you go. Not that I want any of you ladies to suffer - But you DO tend to sort of feel like this is surreal Twilight Zone stuff and no one would get it, but alas people do because they're going through the same business.
My husband has the mentality that he overrides the law. He just kept insisting that CSE would absolutely have to go through him and he would have to voluntarily make payments when he could afford to do so...Mmm...lol. I laugh to spare my sanity, as it is just evidence of how much of a control freak he is. That's why we're not together. And yes, I know he goes through the baby to get to me...He can't hurt me through himself anymore...He knows I no longer want to be with him or am in love with him. He uses what is important. He is so pitiful and detached.
Dez, been reading your recent updates about that fool. It just keeps getting worse. You think leaving them and starting a new life is the hardest part, then you realize that was actually relatively easy in comparison...He is just repulsive, Dez. I can't get over the stuff he has done and lied about. He has just created new lows I've never even considered. You are so blessed to be away from him, love.
Proserpina
Mother of Dragons
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- Nov 16, 2012
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No wonder he was so angry when he found out CSE could garnish his wages. Nobody likes having delusions shattered.
Good for you for making him pay up. Good luck with your PPD. I had that last time, which means I have something like a 50% chance of getting it again, so I'm trying to prepare.
