I just don't get it.

[Burchy314]

OK so my OHs mom sent out the baby shower invites for the one she is throwing for their side of the family and their friends...so basically everyone I have never met...It is Saturday October 9th at 3.

Ok well every Friday-Sunday my OH comes over and stays at my house...that is the only time I get to see him. We don't ever do anything because he is so exhausted from work and then my parents always put him to work to finish the nursery. We don't really spend anytime with eachother except when we are asleep.

Anyways so my OH will be here Friday night, then I will go to his house with him and my parents on Saturday for the baby shower (oh and I don't even want to be around these people let alone have my parents near them, they are all drunks and stoners and my parents are like hardcore christians), then according to him and his mom I am going home after the shower with my parents and he is staying there to party! I mean really! He is staying there to get drunk! When he knows I don't want him drinking at all...what is even worse is all of this was his moms idea! So he will stay at his house which is an hour away and then drive back to my house Sunday morning because my side of the family's baby shower is that day. It is just a waste of gas money, but if he doesn't stay there that night his mom will like freak out on him and be all pissed because she already invited everyone and bought all the drinks.

It is a baby shower not a fucking party! He is going to be a father and you are getting him drunk and because of it he is starting to realize that he cant do that at all anymore and it is starting to get to him. We keep arguing about it and he is getting really mad at me because I don't want him to skip out on one of our nights to get drunk!

Wow that was a long rant sorry, I am just really upset.

 

[QuintinsMommy]

is this the first time he has been out in awhile tho? is it his family that he is staying to party with? maybe he doesn't see them much?

 

[Burchy314]

It is the first time in a while he will be like having a party, but he has friends over alot. BUT I already told him he could have a party for his birthday and skip out on me Halloween weekend to go to a party so I don't get why he has to do it this time when I want to go through all the gifts and start getting organized...and no its not really family. He doesn't have much family. It is more his friends from work who he sees all the time.

Oh and I know my parents wont be happy about him not coming home (to my house) because they need his help to finish the nursury so I can start moving everything there because right now we have NO room for anything

 

[Desi's_lost]

If he used to party a lot, maybe its good to give him a night or so a month, just to take the 'forbiddenness' or 'temptation' out of it. It might be a big compromise on your part but maybe it will make things less stressful and for the better in the long run?
I do agree that a baby shower is no cause to party like that though =P

 

[Burchy314]

Yeah I am really only upset because it is happening with my baby shower. If it was any other time I would be a tad upset but I would get over it in like 5 minutes.

Yes he used to party all time up until about 3 years ago, when we got together. Since then he just doesn't want to. I mean in those 3 years he went out a couple times had fun and had friends over a lot but nothing compared to what it was. So I don't get why now is so different, Last time he had a party like this was when he made me go to his friends party...on our 1 year anniversary! That was almost a year ago. So I mean in the next 2 months he already had like 3 party I said he could go to and now he wants to add this one.

Oh but if I wasn't pregnant I can't go to any parties or clubs or anything without him but he can do whatever he wants. Bull shit...lol I will go out if I want to if he gets to

 

[Desi's_lost]

He's probably getting nervous now that you're getting so close to your due date. I bet he'll calm down again soon. Maybe tell him seeing he gets to party on your special day, after the baby is born, you get a special party day?

 

[Burchy314]

I hope it isn't nerves, but it could be. The thing is that after the baby is born all I am going to want to do is be with her so I wont really want to party. Maybe I will just make it that with all the parties he has I get a weekend with the girls during the summer or I will make him do whatever I want on our anniversary this year...make him take me to dinner and a MAJOR chick flick. lol torture him a bit

 

[Tanara]

Sorry to be the one to disagree, but i think its healthy to want to have a night out without you. My OH go's out without me once in a while, I dont mind at all, its a good way for him to get his time before LO is here. Even after LO is here I still want him to go out once in a while.

I go out with him most the times he does go out cause he likes me coming (since i dont get out much either) But I like having my space, I honestly like when he go's out and I can just be alone and relax.

 

[Burchy314]

Well I mean he doesn't go out, but he has a friend over every sunday night and a lot of the time he has other friends over during the week for like 4 to 5 hours. He spends a lot of week time with his friends so I never talk to him during the week except to tell him goodnight which most of the time he never even remembers doing. The only thing I do is see him on weekends. I don't get out or have friends over much and when I have a friend over it is like once in a while for like 2 hours and it is usually when he is eating dinner and cleaning up anyways.

I am perfectly ok with him having the night out during the week but the weekend is the only time I get with him and it is usually spent watching him sleep or work. The one thing that upsets me most is that my baby shower is turning into a party right after I leave. Like litterally once they can't see my car they will be drinking.

I hope all that made since

 

[Desi's_lost]

I hope it isn't nerves, but it could be. The thing is that after the baby is born all I am going to want to do is be with her so I wont really want to party. Maybe I will just make it that with all the parties he has I get a weekend with the girls during the summer or I will make him do whatever I want on our anniversary this year...make him take me to dinner and a MAJOR chick flick. lol torture him a bit

There ya go! lol

 

[Tanara]

Well I mean he doesn't go out, but he has a friend over every sunday night and a lot of the time he has other friends over during the week for like 4 to 5 hours. He spends a lot of week time with his friends so I never talk to him during the week except to tell him goodnight which most of the time he never even remembers doing. The only thing I do is see him on weekends. I don't get out or have friends over much and when I have a friend over it is like once in a while for like 2 hours and it is usually when he is eating dinner and cleaning up anyways.

I am perfectly ok with him having the night out during the week but the weekend is the only time I get with him and it is usually spent watching him sleep or work. The one thing that upsets me most is that my baby shower is turning into a party right after I leave. Like litterally once they can't see my car they will be drinking.

I hope all that made since

I understand, Its different for me since i live with my OH. And he works all the time so when hes not hes sleeping or trying to spend time with us

 

[Burchy314]

Yeah maybe things will be like how you guys are when he moves in with me. I think it is really because how much I miss him. We used to talk for hours a day and see eachother atleast 4 days a week, but now I am lucky to talk to him for 10 minutes and see him for 3 days...not even full days. Hopefully things get better.

 

[Tanara]

Hun I guarantee hes just getting the last bit of time in with his friends before its just you him and LO. Males are funny they see a baby as their whole life completely changing and really it doesn't so they neglect there girlfriends during pregnancy to fufill their needs, thinking they will worry about you and baby after.

 

[Burchy314]

Yeah that is probably what it is. I guess I just need to get used to it. It is just weird because he didn't start doing this until like 2 weeks ago. I will just have let him do his thing as long as he knows he is seeing a chick flick with me haha. That is all I am going to ask for.