I know what I want, but don`t know how to get it :(

[daneuse27]

Lately I find myself constantly battling feelings of sadness, loneliness. I know what I need to be happy but don`t know how to work towards it or even where to start!
I`m 26, and living at home with my mom and brother. I have a 4 month old daughter who I`m a single mom to. Her Dad is somewhat involved, but he lives across the continent so he`s never around. I`m not working; I`m staying with my daughter full time. What I want eventually is to move into my own place, start a job, meet someone special to share my life with and maybe just not feel so isolated and out of place all the time.
I absolutely love my daughter; she`s the cutest baby I`ve ever seen and I want so much to provide a great life to her. But how can I do that if I`m constantly sad

These are some thoughts that have been bugging me recently:
-I feel outnumbered at moms groups because I`m the single one or the one living at home. I also live in a small community so there aren`t many moms groups around. I just joined a new moms group about 30 mins away, but it turns out Im the only single mum there. Guess I just wish I didnt always feel so inadequate compared to others.
-I have a degree from uni, but I dont know where I want to work or how to even begin entering the workforce.
-FOB says he wants to be apart of her life, but he shows little interest in ever talking to me. Sometimes I find myself ringing him because Im starved of adult conversation and I dont get much reaction from him.
-I also have student dept, so I feel financially crippled - I`m not sure if renting a home is a good idea, or if I should wait until I can afford to buy. Itll take years before I can buy, and I dont want to be living at home for years.
-Ive tried online dating, and although I got lots of attention from men on there, I could never find myself gravitating towards anyone; and even if I did, I`d have to ask mum to watch LO and I feel very uncomfortable asking for favours.

I feel like my life`s a mess right now! Help.

 

[Jade--x]

I know how you feel about the baby groups I was always the youngest and the only single Mum and I felt so..Judged. They were all the 'perfect mum' types that knew everything and were always right and I found it so..Cliquey.
I joined an internet dating site, not to date or anything, just to talk make some friends and have people I could have an adult conversation with, and because I've joined with the mentality of that's all I want, I've actually been really successful. There's a few guys off there I'm actually really good friends with, one in particular we're like the same person just with different body parts we met when we were both going through the same thing, neither of us want anything romantically to do with the opposite sex, and so we get on great. I'll admit there's a lot of weirdos on there and the guys with decent conversation are few and far between and I get so many messages majority of the time I can't be bothered to find them, but I'm happy with the few I have found
As for buying a house, I'm honestly not bothered about ever owning one, but that's just me, I prefer to rent. It means I can move whenever I want (tenancy permitting) without the hassle of selling, plus I don't have maintainence bills as my landlord sorts them, and if you want to move out then I'd probably go for renting if you know you can't afford to buy for a long time.x

 

[daneuse27]

I know how you feel about the baby groups I was always the youngest and the only single Mum and I felt so..Judged. They were all the 'perfect mum' types that knew everything and were always right and I found it so..Cliquey.
I joined an internet dating site, not to date or anything, just to talk make some friends and have people I could have an adult conversation with, and because I've joined with the mentality of that's all I want, I've actually been really successful. There's a few guys off there I'm actually really good friends with, one in particular we're like the same person just with different body parts we met when we were both going through the same thing, neither of us want anything romantically to do with the opposite sex, and so we get on great. I'll admit there's a lot of weirdos on there and the guys with decent conversation are few and far between and I get so many messages majority of the time I can't be bothered to find them, but I'm happy with the few I have found
As for buying a house, I'm honestly not bothered about ever owning one, but that's just me, I prefer to rent. It means I can move whenever I want (tenancy permitting) without the hassle of selling, plus I don't have maintainence bills as my landlord sorts them, and if you want to move out then I'd probably go for renting if you know you can't afford to buy for a long time.x

Thank you! I did actually swap contact info with a guy from the dating site; he's a dad to a baby boy who went through a divorce 6 months ago and has had to sell the house and move back with his parents, so his life has been turned upside down too. It is good to talk to someone who's facing similar challenges. Did you meet in person with your friend or just keep it online?

Im going to give the mom's group a try, and if I get the feeling I dont fit in, I'll just not go back. One thing I cant stand at those places are nosy people; I just want to relax, have fun and feel like a regular person, not have people centre in on the fact that im single and ask questions about how it came about. (this is what my pre-natal yoga instructor did, as I was the only mum there who didnt have a husband and my own house, I felt so out of place.) The yoga teacher even asked me infront of everyone if I lived with my mum, and who i was planning to have at the birth, and i found it soo awkward.. So well see how it goes. X