i lost my baby girl at 15 weeks

[pinktree]

i'm so upset, last wed i went into hospital with terrible cramps, they did a scan and everything was perfect, heartbeat was strong and lots of movement. 3 hours later my waters broke and everything went down hill from there, they couldn't stop the inevitable i lost 2 pints of blood and had to have a transfusion which meant i was in hospital for 4 days. today i'm home alone for the first time since i lost her and i feel like everything is closing in on me, i have 2 boys already so this was my first girl which is what i was hoping for. i'm so hurt and angry with the world right now...is it possible to get over such a traumatic and devistating experience?

 

[babylou]

So sorry for your loss. I lost my little boy last week at 15/16 weeks (I have a seven year old daughter) so I completely understand.

I have had company most days and manage to keep occupied which helps. We are all here to help and support each other, I know this forum really helps me. (Thanks all xx)

So sorry that you have had to join us... xxx

 

[mhazzab]

I'm so so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me, 17 weeks ago I gave birth to two beautiful little girls, after having cramps and then my waters breaking, sadly it was just to soon.

It's still so early for you - I remember the first few days and weeks being so terrible. I clung to my husband for support, but eventually the time came when he had to go back to work. Those first few days on my own, I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd spent a lot of time whilst pregnant doing baby related stuff, and then I had nothing to do. It was weeks before I felt comfortable going out of the house on my own again, incase I bumped into someone who didn't know what had happened.It took a while to find my feet again, but I did.

Everything you are feeling right now is normal. Everyone grieves differently, but there's always someone who has felt the same way as you, on here. I'm so sorry you have had to join us, but you have come to the right place, the ladies on here have helped me to get through the long sad days and have helped me start to feel normal again.

I'll love and miss my daughters forever, but I've found it much easier to cope with the loss than I could at the beginning. You will get there too, it just takes time unfortunately. you're not alone, we are all here for you whenever you need us

xxx

 

[winterwonder]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my little boy just over six weeks ago, and i find that i have good and bad days, everyone here is really lovely and very understanding so dont be afraid to let your feelings out. xxx

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I have 3 boys and I lost my Ava at 18 and half weeks, I gave birth to her,.. I can't believe it has been 7 months since we buried her. I don't think you ever get over it you just manage it things will get easier but it takes a lot of time.
We all are here for you if you ever need to talk..
XOXOXOXOOXO

 

[Hellylou]

I am so sorry for your loss. There really aren't words to describe the pain, and there certainly aren't words to take it away. It feels like your heart has been shattered into pieces. I lost my little boy at 16 weeks after my waters broke too.

We are all here for you whenever you need to talk. The ladies here are wonderful and really helped me through the very difficult days and weeks.

Thinking of you

 

[Cassie10]

I'm so sorry for your loss! I lost my little girl at 14w3d so I understand the hurt and anger you speak ok. First off let me say it is perfectly normal to feel that way. There were times I felt like a crazy person (and still do at times) but it is ok to feel that way.

It's ok to feel whatever you want actually. It will get better... It will never go away but it will get easier to manage. Just let yourself grieve and be easy on yourself hun. We are here if you need to chat!

 

[dnlfinker]

I am so sorry for your Loss, I lost my baby girls at 18 weeks.We are like a family here , feel open to talk to any one of us anytime. This is the group everybody understands what you are going through, and always ready to listen. The pain you feeling right now is beyond words..... but I promise that it will get better with time. Pleaese take yourself right now we will be here for you. I am so sorry that I welcome you to the group

Natalie

 

[dnlfinker]

I am so sorry for your Loss, I lost my baby girls at 18 weeks.We are like a family here , feel open to talk to any one of us anytime. This is the group everybody understands what you are going through, and always ready to listen. The pain you feeling right now is beyond words..... but I promise that it will get better with time. Pleaese take yourself right now we will be here for you. I am so sorry that I welcome you to the group

Natalie

meant to say : take care of yourself

 

[kiki04]

I am so sorry hun I lost my sweet Hadlee at 16 weeks 6 days (so basically 17 weeks) and those days haunt me every single day. It got easier, I felt strong and then lately I have just been back to pure misery. It might be that my due date is in 2 weeks The day after my 30th bday She was supposed to be my birthday present

I so wish you didnt have to join us here and it hurts my heart so badly every time I see a new face here, cuz I know just one more family has to endure the same pain and hurt the rest of us did.... the pain I wish no one ever had to feel

 

[daopdesign]

what an awful thing to have happen, just after you had a scan! Similar thing happened to me, one week baby was there bouncing around the next follow up apt no heartbeat

I am so deeply sorry for your loss, words cannot make the pain go away but it doesn get easier with time I promise you xxxx

 

[KamIAm]

Welcome, unfortunately ...

I hate that you had to stumble your way this THIS section of the forum... Please just know, you are never alone, you are not thinking crazy thoughts or acting crazy, I am sure at least one of us thought the exact same or did the same.... We are here for you!!

My Emma was taken from me this past March, almost 7 months ago... for me... in the beginning, I was in shock that first week but that wore off quickly.. Then I cried all the time, didn't wanna talk to anyone, didn't want to see anyone, it just took TOO much energy to sit and try to have a conversation with someone, I honestly didn't care to listen about their life or hear their "sorry's"... That went on for the first few months, ok ..probably first 4 months... By month 5 I felt so much better, started feeling like a tiny bit of the old Kelly was creeping back... But once my due date hit... Oh Wow.... that knocked me back to day 1 all over again...

Everyone deals , thinks and feels differently babe... There is NO wrong or right way to this journey/ nightmare... I think if we all just let you know how WE dealt or feel them maybe one of us might be the same as you at THIS moment and might be able to help..

You take your time through this... You do what YOU need...

I am terribly sorry your lil one was taken ...

We will always be here for you!!!!

 

[pinktree]

thank you everyone, you are all so kind. i hate that you have all experienced such a terrible loss but at the same time it feels less lonely knowing there are other women out there going through the same. i just know that right now i'm not me anymore! my boy's are 14 and 10 and although they were upset to lose thier baby sister, they seem to be doing ok now. my partner doesn't talk about it much...i know he's hurting inside but nothing i can say is going to make any of us feel any better. i am 33 years old and my partner is 45 so this felt like our last chance...the doctor told me we could try again but i've to have a fybroid (sp?)removed first in 6 weeks time...i don't think i can face going back to that hospital with all the pregnant women and new babies everyehere i look. they say it wasn't the fybroid that caused it but in fact an infection i had in my uterus..but just to be sure they want to remove it so i can try again in the future. and although i desperately want another baby before i get too old to concieve, my partner doesn't think he can go through that pain again....so the happy future we had ahead of us is now gone, we had so many plans that revolved around the new baby and now i can't even get by one single day without feelings of hurt, despair and hopelesness. i lost a baby boy at 25 weeks 11 years ago and it has brought back memories from that too! and yes...i did get over that loss but this time it's harder for two main reasons...she was the baby girl i had longed for my whole life and i now honestly think that at my age my chances of ever concieving succsessfully again are gone! i was only 15 weeks but she was fully formed and so beautiful...they actually thought i might have been a little further along because she was such a good size, i see her in my head every day and can't get over how cruel it was to have her taken from me

 

[Hellylou]

I can relate to everything you are feeling. I'm 36 now and this felt like my last chance - my children are 12 and 10, and I didn't have more sooner because of health problems, which had improved when I conceived. It was an infection in my uterus also, and my waters broke. I have not given up hope, though, and for you, at 33, there is still plenty of time, but it is very early days still. Get yourself well first, which is what I am concentrating on while I wait for my health to improve in order to hopefully try again in the new year, when I'll be 37...

And I'm so sorry you lost the girl you'd been waiting for. My heart aches for you.

If you ever need to talk, we are all here, or by PM if you want.

 

[MummyStobe]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl.
Everyone grieves differently so take all the time you need, don't let anyone push you into doing things that you don't feel ready for.
My waters broke about 10 minutes after coming out of my scan. It's so unfair that one minute we were seeing Max on the screen and being told everything was fine and they had no concerns to being in labour the next (although I didn't actually know it at the time, I only realised I was losing him as I started to deliver him 2 days later). It's so unfair that anyone has to go through this.
I found guilt the worst thing to cope with at first but it slowly passed and turned into anger. I still feel angry now but it's easing up and the good days are slowly starting to outweigh the bad ones.
If you ever need to talk there is always someone here or feel free to PM me.
Sending big hugs to you xx

 

[KamIAm]

Wow... You are my exact age and your partner is the exact same age as mine.... I also have older children ...

Babe, you just take one day at a time ...

Prayers for gentle days sent your way

 

[Nikki_d72]

I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry you had to join us. I hope we can all help you through these dark, dark days. The first weeks are just awful but things do improve. I'm so sorry you have been through this before too. try not to think just now about it being your last chance etc, just try to let yourself heal, you may feel very differently in a couple of months time and so may your partner. Men greive so differently to us, usually. We are all here for you, please let us help you any way we can. These ladies have kept me sane, it's a lonely time. xxx

 

[Chester1]

oh gosh i am so sorry for all your ladies losses. not many people do understand though. its very very sad. i lost my little girl last week 15 wks and 4 days. she did have T18 so i was sort of hoping to meet her at least for a little while but sadly wasnt to be. yes its a lot to deal with the anguish, the whys that may never be answered. i am sad that i will never see her beautiful face and to smell her perfect new born smell and touch her smooth skin. i feel sad that she will never feel a mothers love......