i lost my house and my friend.. what else can go wrong?

[amotherslove]

so yesterday i was out at work dropping off papers to extend my time off work as i am not at all emotionally ready to back yet (who thought a month went so fast...) and when i leave i get a text from my roommate and bestfriend.. former best friend? i dunno.. anyway.. she msgs to tell me she "didnt want to do this via text but" (then why did you?) she's moving out. now! like.. she took all of her things out of the house last night while i cried and my mom packed for me.

her excuse? "i didnt think you could pay the bills" though she knew i could.. she then told m that i didn't have a job (which i do.. i am on bereavment leave) she said she was concerned i might not be able to pay in coming months.. even though i am still making money.. and that the jobwasnt "stable".. ??? this is the same "friend" who has done nothing but crack jokes about my daughters death.. (given, this is how we tend to deal with any and all pain.. but i just cant do that with lily..) we used to be best friends.. after living with each other, the relationship has degraded for various reasons.. but she was meant to be moving in may when school ended.. and I was courteous enough to not look for a place with my family (even though they have been itching to move and i REALLY didnt want to live with her anymore) i didn't look for a place because i did not want to screw hr over.. apparantly i am not going to be given the same courtesy..

i really can't believe this.. especially in a time of such pain.. and need.. how someone could do this to a "friend" .. or even another human being.. not to mention.. why now?? right now.. if the tables were turned.. and it were her going through this.. and her struggling with bills i would nevr mak it WORSE for her by bailing out..

i was able (just barely) to pay my half of the bills.. but now.. i cannot pay them because she has basically abandoned me..

anyway.. just needed to rant.. if you got this far... you get a medal ! (not really.. but you get my appreciation)

thanks girls.. and i hop you're all doing okay *hugs*

 

[Hellylou]

I am sorry to hear you are going through this on top of everything else. It sounds awful. Is there any way you can get another room mate at short notice?

I don't know exactly what you mean by cracking jokes at your daughter's death (you say this is how you deal with stuff, so I won't judge) but that certainly doesn't sound like the kind of support you need right now to me, and perhaps this is for the best? There is no way you can begin to heal emotionally if you are around someone who has absolutely no concept of the grief you are going through.

I hope things get easier over the coming days. Good that you have more time off work though, so it is one less thing to worry about.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I can't even believe she would do something at this time, i understand she may have certain feelings or concerns but she should sit you down and discuss them. My heart is breaking for you these people have NO idea what you are going through and how in God's name she can do this at this time is beyond my comprehension. Are you going to be able to find a place t go? I am so sorry and I hope things work out, do me and yourself a favor write this BI*CH off what she has done to you in my eyes is unforgivable..
XOXOXXOOOX Sending much love

 

[angel jayvian]

So sorry huns ..I also think that you don't need to be around people like that. She is not a friend and unfortunately we find out who are our real friends when we are at our worse. this is,when we find out whose going to stick around and be supportive.. And about the cracking jokes what do you mean.? .. We are all here for you huns. Hope all goes well. hugs n kisses

 

[mhazzab]

I agree with the others, it sounds like you are better off without her, she doesn't sound like much of a friend.
I hope you get something sorted soon, so you either get a new room mate or find some place else to stay, this is the last thing you need. Take care of yourself and try not to stress (easier said than done i know) xxxx

 

[OliveBay]

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time - this is the last thing you need right now. I hope things get better for you soon

 

[babylou]

What a really bad time for this to happen to you. Sometimes things just seems to get worse don't they? I'm so sorry for you, and hope that you manage to sort something out before the Christmas hols.

xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

I agree with the others, what a total b***h! Although it doesn't seem like it just now, I also think it's a blessing in disguise. You don't need to be around anyone like that, she has shown herself to be heartless and selfish and cowardly (texting you the news). She probably just couldn't deal with being around the grief, some folk only are friends in good times, she's not real, hon. It's a rotten time to find out but this does seem to sort the goodies from the baddies.

I hope you can find a new roomie or get out of your lease and move with your family to somewhere new.

xxx

 

[amotherslove]

Thanks everyone.. Its been rough, like nikki said though it really is a blessing in disguise.. I am very tired of having her attitude around. Its just frustrating to move back into my moms place and be sleeping on a couch for the next 1-2 months.. Especially now that I'm starting to heal.. And I just really wanted to be alone with my feelings.. I've had my mom at my place all month and she was finally heading home.. But oh well.

And as for the cracking jokes she's just been "making light" of the situation I suppose.. Like she invited me to a movie while I was still miscarrying and I said maybe in a few weeks and she's like "yeah, after you're done bleeding everywhere" (which I assume was also a jab at the blood and bloody towels left in the tub when halfway through my miscarriage the pain got severe and the paramedics came to take me to emergency..) And after I showed her the last ultrasound picture of lily.. While she was dead (beautiful pic nonetheless) she quipped about how it "didn't really look like a baby"... I'm like ok.. Piss off.. You can see her damn feet... And arms.. And .. Yeah.. I dunno.. We make light of situations, both of us have had considerable loss ( my ex boyfriend and her mother both commited suicide within 4 years of each other) and we often joke about dumb things like what they're doijng in heaven today... But I can't joke about this... Its not funny.. Its painful to talk about.. Its awkward.. Its scary.. Its just not ok.. And I'm so tired.. My body is falling apart from moving and lifting and stress.. I'm just pain.. Physically.. Emotionally.. Its nice to have you guys to talk to.. To know someone understands.. and to top it off, I haven't fully moved in yet and my mother is already driiving me crazy..

 

[amotherslove]

And andrea, don't worry, I'm very done with her.. We are no longer friends. Its just such a waste of the last 6 years of my life..

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thanks everyone.. Its been rough, like nikki said though it really is a blessing in disguise.. I am very tired of having her attitude around. Its just frustrating to move back into my moms place and be sleeping on a couch for the next 1-2 months.. Especially now that I'm starting to heal.. And I just really wanted to be alone with my feelings.. I've had my mom at my place all month and she was finally heading home.. But oh well.

And as for the cracking jokes she's just been "making light" of the situation I suppose.. Like she invited me to a movie while I was still miscarrying and I said maybe in a few weeks and she's like "yeah, after you're done bleeding everywhere" (which I assume was also a jab at the blood and bloody towels left in the tub when halfway through my miscarriage the pain got severe and the paramedics came to take me to emergency..) And after I showed her the last ultrasound picture of lily.. While she was dead (beautiful pic nonetheless) she quipped about how it "didn't really look like a baby"... I'm like ok.. Piss off.. You can see her damn feet... And arms.. And .. Yeah.. I dunno.. We make light of situations, both of us have had considerable loss ( my ex boyfriend and her mother both commited suicide within 4 years of each other) and we often joke about dumb things like what they're doijng in heaven today... But I can't joke about this... Its not funny.. Its painful to talk about.. Its awkward.. Its scary.. Its just not ok.. And I'm so tired.. My body is falling apart from moving and lifting and stress.. I'm just pain.. Physically.. Emotionally.. Its nice to have you guys to talk to.. To know someone understands.. and to top it off, I haven't fully moved in yet and my mother is already driiving me crazy..

I am soooooooo sorry I just burst into laughter with the mother comment...........
Don't worry things will work out, just surround yourself with beautiful positive people. Karma is a bitch and I feel bad for your X friend.. All My Love

 

[amotherslove]

thanks hon. i will definitely be doing that. actually considering moving back home (which is in a different province.) so that could be quite nice.

 

[Andypanda6570]

thanks hon. i will definitely be doing that. actually considering moving back home (which is in a different province.) so that could be quite nice.

Just want you to know I am thinking of you and sending good luck with kisses and hugs
Things will work out, try not to worry!

 

[amotherslove]

Thanks hon I've been painting my old place all day (we promised the landlord we would but with my ex gone and the roommate gone its just me and mum) and its been strangely theraputic. I've never been one for creativity but I am loving the mindless painting and alone time and the constant music

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thanks hon I've been painting my old place all day (we promised the landlord we would but with my ex gone and the roommate gone its just me and mum) and its been strangely theraputic. I've never been one for creativity but I am loving the mindless painting and alone time and the constant music

I am glad to hear your feeling better!! See , decorating always gets me in a good mood, I love to decorate. I am sure it will look great once you are finished./