I may have to give birth alone. Scared!!

[lian_83]

I'm due mid-Aug and after talking with my midwife, I was advised that I would probably have to give birth alone this time. I had a very pleasant water birth experience last time, but unfortunately that's probably not possible now.

I have a toddler and DH will have to take care of him while I give birth. I checked with the hospital and they don't have any childcare available nor are they willing to take care of a toddler. I tried the only family daycare nearby but it was horrible, the educator was charging me 2 hours for every hour she takes care of my son, plus she cannot put my son to bed, nor change his nappies, and this is just speculation, but my son was not really happy in her place.

So, anyway, it really sucks why we don't have any family in this entire continent i don't know whether I should just opt for an elective c-section since I probably would not have a good time birthing naturally, not without DH by my side..

 

[NDH]

Could you hire a doula to be with you? With my second birth the plan had been for my doula and husband to take turns watching my then 17 month old in hospital with me (I didn't plan to be there long) as I wanted her there for the birth.

 

[poppy]

Have you got any close friends there that could either look after your toddler or come with you?

Is a home birth an option for you?

 

[yazzy]

Have you not got any friends that live near you? I know I'd happily look after any of my friends children anytime day or night if they needed me to. I hope you find a solution.

 

[eulmh82]

That's a possibility for me too. Hubby works away snd as he only has two weeks this time we're going right up to the wire. My mum will come to look after my son and take my to hospital if needs be but my husband will have a three hour journey to make to come home and I'm worried she'll have arrived by then... Last time was wuick until the point I needed forceps but hopefully don't need them this time fingers crossed!!! and I don't really want anybody but hubby in there tbh. You'll be absolutely fine. You can do it. The midwives will help you xx

 

[zebbed89]

I'm also facing this to. My family is 3 hours away I don't trust my mother in law to have her at night and my best friend has a daughter of her own so I wouldn't be able to get her during the night. I'm hoping I will be induced so I know exactly when it will be so my mum can get here otherwise if u go into labour on my own I will more than likely have to be alone. Xx

 

[tallybee]

I hope you can rely on a friend to take lo xx that's exactly what I did with my 2nd and other friends were birth partners as fob was not in the picture for that. I had home birth so could have anyone I needed there.

I hope it's all sorted for you.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

I gave birth on my own last time and almost the time before that -- not on purpose, I just have really fast labours.

It's fine. You'll find you're so focussed on what you're body's trying to do that it doesn't really matter who is or isn't there.

 

[eulmh82]

I gave birth on my own last time and almost the time before that -- not on purpose, I just have really fast labours.

It's fine. You'll find you're so focussed on what you're body's trying to do that it doesn't really matter who is or isn't there.

Totally agree, last time I spent half the time worrying I wasn't talking to my husband. I didn't want radio on, I didn't want to talk I just wanted to focus

 

[babifever]

Have you tried searching for a Nanny? Care.com or something like that?

 

[icklemonster]

I agree with pp's on asking a friend to have LO. I would have any of my friends or neighbours children overnight if I heard they faced the possibility of labouring alone xxx

 

[lian_83]

Thanks for all the support!
I think, I will enquire about that doula option, seems like the only feasible solution for now.
No family or relatives here, and like only 2 friends who are both caring for infants and toddlers as well. As for neighbors, we just moved into this new place, just leasing every 6-12 months, so not much chance to form friendships.

Well, Invivo, I might also just toughen up and just take a cab, labour, and when the baby's out, call DH to come see us.

 

[babers]

Can your husband and child just be at the hospital waiting for you and popping in to see how you are doing?

 

[Becky1987]

I have a child and wouldn't think twice about caring for anyone else's child whilst they were in labour especially if it was a friend. Why don't you just ask one of your friends?

 

[lian_83]

^ I wish my friends could help, but it's just not possible. They are the ones that actually suggested that I just schedule an elective CS for convenience. They are almost a decade younger than me, had CS in all their deliveries, and very happy with the result. They think I'm making such a big deal when it's so easy to just book a CS at 38 weeks, then there is no chance to even to into labour.

Logistically, if I start labour anywhere from 6am to 4pm, then I think there would be no problems with DH and my son waiting for me outside the hospital. After that period, I would might need to go to the hospital alone so DS can sleep, then I could just ring them up when I'm in active labour. Luckily, the hospital is less than 25 mins away door-to-door.

Still, it's all very

 

[missk1989]

What about a home birth?

 

[amelia26]

I would really look into a doula if childcare for your lo isn't possible. I don't understand your friends' suggestion of a c section tbh. That's the last thing you want if you have a toddler and no family support.

Is there no family who would be willing to stay with you for a while around your due date?

 

[lian_83]

Well, eventually I gave birth alone, with my waters breaking at 3am. I just called a cab, went to the hospital, then gave birth around 630am. I then called DH that bub is already here, he was shocked cause he was expecting that it will take at least 5 hours.
Traumatised with the experience as my midwife in charged was a student and 6 months pregnant herself.

 

[xforuiholdonx]

that is purely awful. I'm so sorry sweety

 

[winterbabies3]

Oh gosh love, I hope you guys are happy at home and together!! Im so sorry you experienced this!