I need other's perspective

[steveholmes]

Recently, I've fought with my girlfriend and we ended up hurting each other physically.

We already have a baby and I have been very providing to both of them or may too providing because I do a lot of things for them.

I'm a very busy man, despite the financial needs that I need to keep up with I also do my best to tend to my family. I also want to tie the knot with her but there's just one thing that comes in our way... our fights... and it sometimes ends up hurting each other physically. The recent fight was because she yelled at me for a reason I really don't know because our day went very well. She told me she's on her period and I can understand how a girl acts when she's on her period but she's outrageous. She yells at a very angry tone as if she wants to fight with some one. The common reasons why she yells are because of the following:

"She can't find the keys and gets mad like its my fault she lost her key."
"I only gave her money for her cousin's baby's gift."
"She whines if I don't buy her a new bag."
"She gets mad at our baby when our baby cries to much...shouting at the baby to shut up and then she passes our baby to me like a piece of trash. (It breaks my heart)."
"She seldom take cares of our baby and passes her to our maid because she has work and when I find her just chatting on Facebook."

And common household stuff, that our maid misses to clean or sort out.. She yells at it.

It seems like she's got an unstable mind...because she has daddy issues which I understand.

I'm not sure if I want to continue loving her...as my future is also at stake with her unstable burst of emotions. In which, we then fight and the thing why we get to hurting each other physically is because she provokes me.

I have a certain level of patience when its more than I can handle, I start to get angry and yell at her as well. But before I get angry I really talk at a very calm voice telling her to calm down and be rational..

However, she won't stop until I'm angry. Its like she wants our relationship to be destroyed but doesn't wants to... I can see that she got her attitude from her parents because her parents aren't married and living together( they also yell a lot in their house) but it's not good to carry it in our home.

She doesn't seem like to be thankful of what I showed her, the things I buy for her, the date's I take her to every week, the Sunday family day I take her out with her younger brother and sister. I even let her younger and brother stay at our place on the weekends. And her brother eats 3x more than I do. Yet I don't whine or say anything about that to her. I only ask for 10-20% of her salary to be spent on our stuff per month. The rest is up to her because she sends money to her family(parents and siblings) as well. My income is good enough to live a decent lifestyle and then have a great luxurious lifestyle in the next couple of years when plans goes well....

But I'm feeling that I need to break up our relationship and I'm worried about my baby not having to grow up in a normal family which could bring some issues in her future life. However, I have an aspiring future myself...and I want to enjoy it. Its really hard to compromise with someone who is immature and has daddy issues( I can tell it because her daddy calls her shit and that).

I feel like I'm being robbed with my future if I stay in this relationship...

 

[Ceejay123]

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[steveholmes]

I'm going to talk to her about us seeing a GP tomorrow.

Yah, such small things to flip out isn't really normal.

Aside from that, I feel like I'm mostly taking care of the baby now even my working time($250/hr) is more valuable than hers($2). Yet she's always on FB.

Checking out bags and stuff. I really need a good decision because all I can think of right now is stay in this relationship and try to make it work. It might be fixed someday.

Right now, I'm not sure how things will be fixed because I don't know if she will change for the better and not lash out like a crazy person(her mother scolded her about doing that yesterday).

I honestly feel embarrassed sometimes because she's so scandalous when she yells because her family is witnessing how she acts like a boss of me. Yet I'm the one doing a lot of things for the family and hers....

Well if she just acts mature and knows when to yell then everything is okay. She's still 22 and I'm 25.

Talking about the future....

Yeah, the baby needs a family that don't fight a lot and have a fight like ours.

She doesn't know her path 3 years from now career wise and family wise.

I know things will turn out good for me in the future but it won't be as great if I keep a relationship under her unstable conditions...plus I really need to do something so our baby will grow up a person with an aspiring future.

 

[moomin_troll]

What a great household for a child to grow up in, beating each other up and a brat for a mother.
I agree she needs help and so do u if u get so angry u hit out

 

[teal]

You do realise this is the single parents section? Why post in here when it's regarding your relationship? There is a relationships section of this forum.

 

[Dezireey]

I worry when you say you are both physical? Are you saying that you hit her back or are you just restraining her?

She needs help and fast and I suggest you take the quiet approach with this. You need to walk away from the arguments to show her that you are not going to take part in it. I think at the very least, you should have a trial separation and maybe get a mediator to be involved for the safety of your child. If you genuinely think she could harm your baby because she is so volatile, then seek help and get her sorted ASAP. There are even some medical conditions that make people aggressive, so she needs a check up. She needs a big warning and making her see that her behaviour is unacceptable both for a baby's environment and your relationship might shake some sense into her.

 

[HBGirl]

You hit her because she provokes you? Nice.