I need some help re; when to ttc again due to work

[mlyn26]

Hi all ,

I began TTC in October 2008 and 15 months later (but only 6 cycles later - my time on YASMIN seriously messed up by cycles) got a BFP this February. I sadly miscarried in March but fell pregnant again on my second cycle in June. Sadly that pregnancy was not to be and on the 22nd June i discovered the pregnancy was ectopic and underwent surgery that same day to remove baby and my left tube. I never thought firstly it would take so long to fall and then secondly that i'd have 2 losses in just 3 months.

Anyway, the docs advised i wait for 3 cycles or 2 months (whichever is sooner) to TTC again. I had a heavy period 2 days after my op on 22nd June and have just come on today so period 2. Will be due on again early sep (my cycles are about 37/38 days) which will then bring me to just over 3 months and 3 periods before i ovulate in late sept/early oct.

I HATE my job working for probation and really want out. I have applied for new jobs (have interview for one on thurs) and hopefully i will be offered a new job in next few weeks/months.

So...........the question is,

what do i do about TTC and getting a new job. Even if i get a new job, due to nature of jobs i go for will have to await a CRB check (roughly 4 weeks) BEFORE i can hand in my 4 weeks notice. So around 8 weeks between being successful and starting new job. Then IF i get new job, to be eligible for employers MAT pay i have t be in job for around 6 months before conception i think.

Now my left tube has been removed so this will mean it takes longer to get pregnant and the thought of waiting over 6 months before i even start trying again is, well devastating!

So my options are;
1. stay where i am and be miserable, hope to fall pregnant real soon but have mounds of stress which i fear contributed to my miscarriage in March, BUT if successful pregnancy get MAT pay.

2. Just continue TTC when i can - so October. If new job comes and starts then will miss out on MAT pay (and they will probably hate me as wont know circs) BUT we can JUST afford it now DH has got into london fire service. This will then mean i dont have to return to work after the year maternity leave (unless i want to) as wont need to pay MAT money back or work any notice to avoid paying it back.

3. Wait to TTC until i get new job and have worked period to make me eligible, so could be about a whole 8 months when i do feel pretty desperate for baby. However, 6-8 month wait could give me time to lose weight and feel better emotionally and physically. Also if i LOVE the new job i might want to return and so would be gutted to miss out on employers MAT leave when i have worked damn hard for years!

So firstly, what would YOU do, and
secondly, what do you THINK I should do?

 

[summerbreeze8]

ooh, this is a tough one. I think if you could afford to go without the maternity pay then I would start ttc again as soon as you can, especially as you have long cycles etc. It depends on when you get the new job, because like you say, you could see how much you like the new job before making a decision. If you don't mind me asking is age a factor with ttc again quickly? As you never know when it will happen again, I would be tempted to go for it. Good luck. XXX

 

[mlyn26]

I'll be 28 this year so am starting to get worried that if i lose my remaining tube or have more losses my time will start running out for me x

 

[BoBo]

Hun, I feel the same... I'm actually going for an interview this afternoon!

I'm 30 and it took us 8 months to concieve and that ended in a misarraiage at 13 weeks (baby died at 9), I am moving house and I have just found my dream job up the road from our new place, I couldn't resist applying.

The way I look at it is it may take another 8 months to concieve, or longer. During that time I would have established myself in my new role. Its only up the road, so I wont have the 50 mile round trip that I am currently doing each day. I will feel happier somewhere else.

What I want more than anything in the world is to have children, so if I fall pregnant straight away, then great! We'll cope knowing its what we want and the £108 a week that I am due to receive for statutory mat pay wont match up to my current wages so we will struggle anyway. I'd rather strugle and be happy than continue the way I am and be miserable.

I also think that if I stay where I am and it takes me longer than 6 months to conceive and I hadn't gone for this other job, then I will kick myself after this time.

Its up to you to make that choice. You need to asses whether you could financially support yourselves if you didn't get Mat pay.

 

[truly_blessed]

oh hunny you are so young. I'm 40 and had to make this decision at the beginning of the year. I got my BFP 2 days before I started a new job in Oct last year but had MMC in Nov. Everything settled down by around mid Jan but I didn't qulaify for maternity pay until April. I had a very tough decision to make with my age but we were talking a difference of around £6000 to wait for 3 cycles, so we decided to wait. Who knows if it was the right thing to do or not, who's to say I would have got pregnant any sooner if we started earlier, no one knows. We'll just be starting cycle 4 now. You will make the decision that is right for you.

 

[BoBo]

Hi hun,

I've been looking and we may be entitled to Maternity Allowance anyway:
https://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyT...ort/Expectingorbringingupchildren/DG_10018869

Interview went well, I have been called back for a second next week... looks like things might just be starting to look up!

Good luck with your search (or your stay!), whatever you decide to do xx

 

[truly_blessed]

sorry forgot to say. there is maternity allowance, which isn't much although it is better than nothing at all and company maternity pay. It was the company maternity pay I was refering too, whereby I had to work for the company for 12 months before the 24th week of pregnancy in order to qualify, which is a lot more money. The 6k difference was between MA and company MA/SMP.