I need some support and advice

[slowpoke22]

Hi everyone

I am 30 weeks with baby 2. I chose not to breastfeed my daughter, and we FF from day one (please no bashing, personal choice etc)

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I would really like to try bfing this time, but I am very put off for a lot of reasons.

1) the biggest bonding memory my husband has, was our daughters first feed as he got to do it on his first hold.
2) The prospect of a two year old running around and me being stuck to the couch feeding in clusters while my husband works, is very daunting
3) The first few weeks of my daughters life, I was desperate for sleep and being able to have my husband feed her and share the feeds was a huge, huge help. Hormones made me so so weepy and he really helped me with feeds.

I'm pushed toward FF again this time, and I've no problem with that, I just want to experience BF because I know this is our last. My husband is flexible with however I want to do it I have his full support so please dont bash him lol

Any mums with more than one, how did you do it? Any sage advice?

 

[sept2010]

1) you can pump a bottle for your OH to feed LO when he wants to.
2) You just have to keep your 2yr old occupied during feeds. You can stil read to her, let her watch abit of tv. Some ppl even hav a soecial toy box that only comes out when you are feeding lo. Not all babies cluster feed. Lo2 feeds far less than lo1 did and weighs more!!
3) new mums are always sleep deprived bf or ff. advantage of bf is that when you feed your lo at night. Sleep inducing chemicals get released helpin mummy n baby fall quickly back to sleep. You could also use pumped milk so ur oh can feed when you really need sleep.
Hope this helped somewhat

 

[Sarah lo]

No bashing here

Why don't you tell yourself you'll give it a go for the first few days and see how you get on? If you decide its not for you then at least you've given it a go. Like you said, this is your last chance for the experience. I had a hard time BFing my first and nearly didn't with this one but I told myself I'd do the first few days, and here I am 6 weeks later still going strong

I've tried to come up with some counter arguments to your points for you to consider.

1. Your husband got to give your DD her first feed, this time it could be your turn to experience giving that first feed. There are loads of other firsts your DH could then share with your new LO, like their first bath for example.
2. I agree this is a very tough one. I have had a 2 year old running around while I'm stuck to the sofa for the past 6 weeks. My DH was at home for the first 3 weeks so he took over keeping the older one busy then after that its really not been that bad. I put DVDs on for her or read to her. Sometimes I just get her play-doh or paints out and let her trash the place while i feed and then clean it all up after - at least it kept her amused for half an hour or so! I have also been known to sit in the window feeding LO while I watch DD play outside. At about 5 weeks the cluster feeding started to come to an end for me so its really not forever. It does seem harsh on the older one not getting as much attention as before but in a way it can actually be a good thing, my DD has learned a whole load of new skills these past few weeks because I've had to talk her through doing things herself a lot, and I've had to learn to trust her a bit more so she's gained more freedom.
3. If you're BF, co-sleeping is the best thing ever! If you can master the art of feeding whilst lying down you can snooze while they feed. Just think, no getting up to make a bottle, LO wakes up and you literally just reach out, pull him over and latch him on..then go back to sleep! I have absolutely no idea how many times a night my LO wakes up for a feed because I'm half asleep when he does. I think its something like 4 times a night. If I was getting up 4 times a night to make bottles I'd be an absolute wreck by now. I think I'm actually getting more sleep now than I was towards the end of my pregnancy.

I hope this helps!

 

[hakunamatata]

I'm breastfeeding my 5 month old and have a toddler. I also co sleep with the baby. I'm less exhausted this time than with my first (switched to ff at 6 weeks with my first). It's really not bad bf with a toddler. It's actually less work because you can just whip out a boob rather than prepare a bottle. The toddler gets jealous sometimes and pinches my arm, but I think that'd happen whether bf or ff. Anyway, the previous posters all made excellent points too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Maxy1]

A lot of mums seems to say that BFing LO is easier when you have a toddler because it leaves you with one hand free to turn pages in a book, play with toys etc while BFing. Whereas FF takes two hands.

I second you just giving it a go and see if you like it and it works for you. No matter what you choose you will be able to make it work.

 

[lowblow1]

Second what everyone else said!

 

[angela98661]

I formula fed my first daughter. Bf'n seems easier. No washing or sterilizing bottles constantly. Especially with sleep deprivation...you dont have to worry about paingul engorgment and to "dry up" that was hard for me and painful. After birth healing was easier. I didnt bleed for as long . You can sleep on your side and feed. It feels more natural once you get the hang of it. It feels great i feel more connected to my baby. But i formula fed my older child. And i was living with my brother baby's father and my parents that all fed her while i got to rest alot after the birth. Sometimes bf'n can be frustrating. But so can formula feeding. Newborns are a handful. Good luck mama