Hi everyone- im 17wks and the FOB relationship status is horrible. It goes back and forth to being good and bad. And when its bad its horrible. It's things he does such as partying like he used to (but he says its okay bc im not around so it shouldnt matter if he wants to do w/e he does when hes out w his friends) or when we fight it some how turns to me being crazy and im not the same person he met since ive been pregnant. he doesnt respect me and yells at me, calls me inappropriate things, says hurtful things...the list goes on. And I can't claim to be innocent. I do lose it bc i feel like my world is falling apart and he doesnt care enough to try to keep it together. Basically i feel like im an obligation to him and my LO is another obligation as well even tho he says that he wants a baby. We fight to the extent that one of us has to leave. If he leaves its for a few hrs or maybe a night and i cant get a hold of him or he doesnt care to call. If i leave I'm gone for an hr and then I come back.. the only time I left for an entire night was bc he chose to let his friends get comfortable and high & drunk to the point where they couldnt functions so they stayed in our living room when he knew i wasnt comfortable with them staying the night to begin with. he thought that i would be fine with them staying there (which i do agree i wouldnt want them to drive off intoxicated) but i would think that he would respect where we live and me being pregnant that he would give his friends the heads up that our place isnt a "crash-pad" anymore. BUT he didnt. He just wanted me to be okay with letting them stay here. And i wasnt at all. So I left for the night. His friends couldve called a taxi home or couldve had the decency to realize that that kinda business is not appropriate for our place anymore. But they didnt. Anyway....theres so much more, so much. but that was the main last incident. We tried to talk about it but he turned it on me to say that im unreasonable and i shoudl be okay with his friends coming over and if they are too intoxicated it should be okay. I told him that im fine with his friends coming over, and I wouldve been fine with them coming over and crashing out IF IT WERE A PLANNED GET TOGETHER!
Anyway.. theres so much more to our past and present that its caused me to find out hes not only blatantly disrespectful, doesnt stick up for me or the fact that that kinda environment isnt what i need to be in, or seems to care for the comfort of his friends over me but hes also been dishonest and keeps things from me. I dont know what else...i want to still think in my heart that hes committed to me but i really dont know.....anyway. I want to leave him because ive been so stressed out and his tendency to leave me when im sad and emotional kills me. How do i know that he wont leave me on the hard nights with the LO....i need support that he doesnt give me. I want to go home which is 4 hrs away but thats where my family is and i feel like thats best for me now but when the baby comes what am i to do...come back to him and settle so that he can have a chance to be a part of her life??? Do i stick around and be miserable until the baby comes to see if he changes??? Do i leave now and not give him a chance at being a part of his life unless he really shows a drastic change????
I know that my daughter should have her father around but I think it is so much more important for her to have someone around who treats me well and be a great father at the same time. I dont want my daughter to see how he treats me and to think that this is okay....i want her father to be the kind of man he woudl want her to be with....and if it were up to me, i would never ever want my daughter to go thru what i am going through ever.
so please...help me mommies...this is very hard for me to decide. I stilllive with him and its unhealthy...im so stressed that i barely eat and i know shes feeling my pain because every time im sad or mad i get cramps, i just pray that we both make it through the pregnancy because when i think about all these depressing times i just want to hold her in my arms already.
Anyway.. theres so much more to our past and present that its caused me to find out hes not only blatantly disrespectful, doesnt stick up for me or the fact that that kinda environment isnt what i need to be in, or seems to care for the comfort of his friends over me but hes also been dishonest and keeps things from me. I dont know what else...i want to still think in my heart that hes committed to me but i really dont know.....anyway. I want to leave him because ive been so stressed out and his tendency to leave me when im sad and emotional kills me. How do i know that he wont leave me on the hard nights with the LO....i need support that he doesnt give me. I want to go home which is 4 hrs away but thats where my family is and i feel like thats best for me now but when the baby comes what am i to do...come back to him and settle so that he can have a chance to be a part of her life??? Do i stick around and be miserable until the baby comes to see if he changes??? Do i leave now and not give him a chance at being a part of his life unless he really shows a drastic change????
I know that my daughter should have her father around but I think it is so much more important for her to have someone around who treats me well and be a great father at the same time. I dont want my daughter to see how he treats me and to think that this is okay....i want her father to be the kind of man he woudl want her to be with....and if it were up to me, i would never ever want my daughter to go thru what i am going through ever.
so please...help me mommies...this is very hard for me to decide. I stilllive with him and its unhealthy...im so stressed that i barely eat and i know shes feeling my pain because every time im sad or mad i get cramps, i just pray that we both make it through the pregnancy because when i think about all these depressing times i just want to hold her in my arms already.
