I need to VENT.. PLEASE..

[Shelby2007]

Okay ladies.. Ive been trying to let this go.. but Im soo annoyed that I want to scream.. Let me share my story..

November 8, 2008 - Married my wonderful husband
December 30, 2008 - Got my first ((EDD 9.9.09))
February 2, 2009 - Went for scan.. found twin babies with no heartbeats
February 5, 2009 - Induced miscarriage
February 11, 2009 - Finally passed the babies

Okay - here is my rant.

My cousin calls me 7 times on February 2nd.. of all days.. to tell me that she is getting married. She met the guy in March.. and was enganged in May. They had planned on waiting until they both graduated college before they got married.. but on February 2nd.. she calls me to say that they are getting married on August 28, 2009.. and asked me to be her matron of honor.

I wasnt really thinking that day of course.. and told her thanks for the offer.. and I guess I will be standing by her side in August.. but this is my problem..

I was due in September.. and she knew that!!!!.. and she didnt even take into consideration that I was due a week after her wedding.. (and since I was pregnant with twins.. it would have been sooner). She said she wanted me 9 months pregnant at her wedding.

The more I think about it.. the more peeved it really makes me.. I wouldnt have been able to stand by her side at her wedding.. much less even be able to travel there.. (she lives 7 hours from here!!).. Im just really hurt by all of this.. I know it is her day.. and now I have no reason not to be there and be by her side

I know I shouldnt feel like this.. but I am soo upset about it.. and hurt by her not even taking into consideration me (whom she asked to be her matron of honor!!)

Okay - vent over.. Im sorry.. I know you probably think Im horrible.. maybe it's just my hormones getting back to normal. I just want to cry.. and this has been eating at me.. Thanks for listening.

 

[orange-sox]

Oh sweetheart you're not horrible, don't hold in your emotions, just let them all out or they'll eat away at your soul. We're all here to help each other xxx

 

[Shelby2007]

Thanks orange.. I just feel like a terrible person.. Im not a ME ME ME person.. but I would have never planned my wedding around her pregnancy.. I would have done it a different date... especially if I wanted her in my wedding.. Thanks so much.

 

[LeaArr]

I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry hun!

 

[Shelby2007]

Ladies.. Im soo sorry for my pitty party I just needed to tell someone.. and thanks for listening.. I feel awful for feeling like this.. and needed to get everything off of my chest.

 

[Schmelly]

Totally understandable, hun. I'm sure I'd be feeling exactly the same.

Big

 

[MissingBubs]

So sorry for your loss and pain.
Don't feel guilty or like a bad person. You are bound to feel angry and should not have to hold your emotions back. You rant all you like hun. Thats what we are here for!!!

 

[surreysharon]

I agree that small things are huge during this time and the anger builds up to boiling point however i dont entirely agree with how you are viewing this. To save your relationship with her think of it different:-

- she is caught up with her fabulous news of getting married and wants you involved
- It was a coincidence that she called on Feb 2nd and she called 7 times as she was
excited and wanted to ask you to be her matron of honor.
- She planned her wedding day around their choice of week and didnt think about how
uncomfortable you may be. Its her day and she just wanted you there.

You need to let this go so it doesnt build up in you and you end up losing this family member. She hasnt done anything wrong, its just how you are feeling. I agree that everything magnifies after our miscarriages and we judge how people are with us. But remember that she just wanted to share her special day with you! She loves you alot obviously and was not being malicious

x

 

[Shelby2007]

I agree surreysharon.. it just really hurt my feelings that she said she wanted me there 9 months pregnant.. like HUGE FAT.. lol. She is a big girl.. and actually told me that she wanted someone there bigger than her.. WOW.

And she called 7 times.. not because she was excited.. she does this ALL the time.. if I dont answer she calls and calls and calls until I answer. She doesnt like to not get her way. She only calls me when she feels like it.. and doesnt answer when I call her.. She had already picked out the date 3 weeks before she even called me.. so why she picked that day to call me.. I have no clue. And we really dont have a relationship.. other than being family members. And its her MOM that wants me to be the Matron of Honor.. because she believes that family comes first.

I must also tell you all that she is very flaky.. been on and off of drugs.. been engaged 3 or 4 times.. and then before the marriage... breaks it off because she is "too scared".


So while I do agree with you surrey... I dont entirely.. while she is family.. she sure as heck doesnt act like it.

I guess I really didnt have a reason to rant.. seeing our background with each other.. I guess it just hit me wrong.. Thanks ladies for the advice.

 

[rachjim98]

I just wanted to give you a hug... sorry you are feeling this way with every right. I wish I had the balls to tell some people how much their lack of sympathy hurts. Vent all you want I have finally started to let it all out and it feels good to get somethings off your chest..

 

[Shelby2007]

Thanks rach.. my problems dont even begin to compare with what you have been through. Im so sorry Thanks for the hug..